Chromatic Decisiveness

The following day, I woke up to a text from Manager Na. He wants me to come in, but like always, he fails to mention what for.

I debated on whether or not I should answer, but that didn't last long. He's still my boss. If he wants me to come in, then I'll come in. But... Today might be the last time.

Just like every other day, I stepped through the front door of the studio with my headphones on. Like always, Akira turned away from his phone to greet me, but I wasn't having it.

"Ah. Hey, Yozo—"

He went silent the moment he saw my face. I didn't bother to stop and acknowledge him this time. I just kept on walking.

I made my way over to Manager Na's office, thankfully avoiding any of the girls on the way. I took a deep breath and knocked on the door.

"Come in," he said.

I pushed the door open and entered. The manager was sitting behind his desk while holding a clipboard, earnestly assessing its contents.

"Yozora," he greeted me. "Have a seat."

Without hesitation, I sat down and steadied myself. Although he hasn't said anything yet, I knew exactly where this was going.

"How are you holding up?" Manager Na asked.

"I'm... fine," I said.

"That's good to hear. So..."

"Just get to the point, Manager Na. I know you didn't call me here just to ask about my well-being."

He looked at me strangely, as if he didn't know that I was capable of being like this. I don't mean to be so rude to him, especially since he has been nothing but supportive of me. I'm just so over it. This place... These people... Everything.

"Well... Alright," he said. "Look, Yozora. The girls told me what happened between you and them. You know that I like you. But, this... Your constant mishaps with Sunayomi... I can't just ignore it. As much as I want to take your side, I'm obligated to side with the girls. I'm sure you can understand that."

"Of course I do. At the end of the day, this is a business that rides on the success of Sunayomi. I'm just one employee who amounts to nothing."

"What? Nothing? That's not true at all, and don't ever let me catch you saying that again. Who the hell even told you that?"

I thought back to what Mitsuki had said to me the last time we met. 'A nobody,' she told me. I don't even know why I got so angry when nothing could be more correct.

"It doesn't matter," I sighed. "I know what I did wrong, so I'll just save you trouble, Manager Na."

I've been thinking about this for a while. This world is just tough. When it seems like things are moving up, there will always be something to topple it. It's like I can't ever have a brief moment of rest.

That's just how it goes... and that's how it'll always be.

"I'm quitting," I said.

I like music—a lot. I could blast it on max volume, and it wouldn't bother me at all, so why is it that this silence is much more deafening?

"You're... quitting?" Manager Na asked with a defeated tone. "For real?"

"Unfortunately, yeah," I replied. "I realized something after personally meeting Sunayomi. Suguha, Natsume, Yoshino, and Mitsuki... I encountered each of them again after the photoshoot. It's weird, isn't it? I've been working here for almost a year, yet I have never spoken a word to them. Now... Hah... It's almost as if I'm being punished for giving them my name. I think that as time goes on, my meetings with them will become a common occurrence. Just the thought of it is putting me off."

He let out a gentle chuckle. "You're the only kid who would ever say something like that when it comes to Sunayomi, but that's also part of the reason why I liked you so much. You give it straight, and you aren't biased, something that not everyone can do. You're as real as they come."

"Maybe that's a flaw in and of itself."

"I wouldn't say so."

I knew Manager Na liked me, but not this much. He seems to genuinely care that I'm leaving. I can never understand that. What does he see in me that I myself don't?

He lifted his head with a sigh. "You know... I had an ambitious plan for you, Yozora. Something that could've changed Sunayomi for the better."

"I already don't like the sound of that. What was this grand idea?"

"Well... You know how their previous assistant... 'My' assistant... got fired recently?"

"Yeah. Supposedly, he was very disrespectful to Sunayomi. There isn't anyone in the company who doesn't know."

"That's a very light way of putting it."

He leaned back in his chair, arms crossed, eyes drifting away as if trying to find something else to focus on... as if to distract himself from a resurfaced thought.

"That bastard wasn't just disrespectful. He was possessive and a total creep. The things he said and tried to do to the girls... I don't even want to imagine it. Anyway, I have yet to find someone to fill the spot."

Judging by his tone and the way this conversation was going, I pieced together the conclusion he was trying to reach.

"You wanted me to become your new assistant," I said.

"...Exactly that."

The air around us suddenly became denser. Is it just me? Or perhaps... My mind is just refusing to see this sudden proposal as anything more than a disappointment.

"I remember you mentioned a number of times that you wanted to introduce me to Sunayomi," I said. "You thought that maybe since we were close in age, we'd be pretty good friends. So? Now that we've officially met, do you still think so?"

He remained silent, which gave me all the answers I needed.

"It is what it is, Manager Na. Besides, my absence will benefit everyone here. I'm sure that if I stay, then I get into more fights with Sunayomi. That weighs on me, but I'm not as important as them. They have an image to keep and a million fans that are constantly looking at them. I don't belong in their world. I'd only get in the way."

Manager Na sat back in his chair with his fingers touching his forehead. He must be thinking of a way to try and get me to stay. However, I think my mind is made.

I don't like being around people. That's always been a thing with me, but it's also one of my biggest flaws. As I go on in life, I'll end up having to interact with them one way or another. Maybe I'll get used to it someday... but not today.

"I think I've taken enough of your time," I said as I stood up to leave.

"Yozora," Manager Na mumbled. "Do you really have to go? I could just make sure that you don't come across them again. It's not like it's an impossible thing to do."

"No, thanks. I don't want anything to do with them anymore. It's better for the both of us if we just forget and move on."

I walked over to the door while Manager Na sat there, visibly defeated. For someone who was supposed to be my boss, he cared about me a lot more than I'm willing to admit. I always knew that, and now I'm inclined to ask.

"Manager Na," I called out. "Why me?"

"What do you mean?"

"Needless to say, you've helped me a lot these past few months, more than what can be said about my own parents. So, I wanted to ask... Why do you try so hard for me?"

"Why you... huh?" he whispered. "Hah. I wonder about that as well."

I paused for a second. "Is that so...?"

With that finally out of the way, I left his office.