Chapter 4:

There was a weight inside you, now it’s gone and left a hole

Castaway Isle

The first thing Sophie did was call her lawyer.

Well, technically the first thing she did was get into her car and start driving off. No need to waste time. Then it was calling her lawyer, who she easily found on speed dial, on the speakerphone. Even though it's been 13 years since she drove this vehicle, she quickly readjusted.

It was her first car, you don't forget that easily.

The family lawyer was familiar with Sophie, having worked with her so frequently in the last year. From his experience, the old man thought she was a mature and responsible youth. Someone could make the proper decisions for herself and her family. Nothing to suspect.

While he found her sudden requests a little odd, he saw no reason to refuse.

After finishing the slightly stressful and very tedious phone call with a promise to follow up by email, Sophie left her now parked vehicle and entered the bank to put her accounts in order.

Being the eldest, and the only adult at the time, she had managed to fight and inherited her parents' entire estate until her siblings were old enough to claim their share.

It was a shame she wasn't sent back in time earlier, to see them again.

No matter. It was a very long time ago by her standards. This time she wouldn't waste what they had left her.


At the bank, Sophie withdrew an extraordinarily large amount of cash to be used today. The rest was placed in a long term savings account with a decent interest rate. In case she didn't return, she signed her siblings' and cousins' limited access to the account. Paper work requested and signed that day.  This was a better deal for the bank but would ensure her and her family's finances when they got back, which they will.

She would make sure of that.

After ensuring that all the bills and financial matters settled, she quickly drove off to the next matter of business for the day.

Her own health. 

The next stop was a family planning medical clinic, available for walk-ins.

There was no time to make an appointment with a primary care doctor, or wait to do the long process of insurance and paperwork. There was no time left, the limit given to her was one day.

She paid in cold hard cash. Her bill of health was clean and she was prescribed items for overseas travel. While the medication and antibiotics were useful it was not the main reason she came.

The now young woman also urgently requested and paid in full for a gynecologist.

Together, they discussed her options for long-term birth control. It was an unpleasant topic yes, filled with traumatic memories. But that's what made it an absolute necessity.

On the island, she had done things she was not proud of, yes. Things she would rather forget if rage didn't fuel her. As a young woman in that dog eats dog world, was it any surprise how she was humiliated and abused many times over? Both her and her sister.

It wasn't something she always felt comfortable talking about in therapy. Even years later. She hated the word victim but damn that's what one of the bolded labels on her file was. Violent, rape victim, traumatized. Sophie hated it. Took so much out of her, years, to even admit what happened... had really happened.

Then there was the sensitive matter of June's death.

The stillborn. Sophie buried it with June without even checking if it was a niece or nephew. It didn't matter. 

She didn't blame or resent the unborn child, but neither did she care or mourn for it. It was June she cried for. Had gone mad for.

It was honestly better that the child was not born. It would be too cruel to force it to live in this world, with or without its mother. It was no world for an innocent child to grow up.

June. She was worried about June.

The earlier flight would crash land much more violently than they will. When they had found her, she was injured with a dislocated shoulder, possibly more. At this time her vulnerable little sister should only be 16.

Too young, too easy.

While Sophie was personally worried but she knew nothing serious would happen to June in this brief time period they were apart. She would be scared, shaken and roughed up but beyond her shoulder injury and the shock of the crash, she would be fine.

It was still the early days after all.

Such a lovely young girl. In the early days, people would be so kind. They would fawn over her as if she were their own daughter or younger sister. June had a sweet face and an even sweeter, even coquettish, personality. She was the baby of their family after all.

But of course, the rescue could not come soon enough, wouldn't come at all. Hunger and desperation clawing, people start to lose their reason. Those with cruel and evil intentions, already deep in their hearts, let loose. Men had so many of them.

Who was she kidding? Of course, that's what happened.

Sophie has long lost hope in humanity as a whole. It was only the people she cared for that she bothered to place any sort of value.

In this life, she won't let those god damned criminals off. Won't let them make any excuses. Won't give them the chance to rejoin society or eveb be rescued. 

The system wouldn't punish them, not in any satisfying way. Sophie's done it their way once. So now, it's hers.

It doesn't matter if they dare try to touch her again. Fine. If that's how they want to play. Sophie would gladly help them pay in reverse for their crimes. All of them, even if she had to enforce the debt herself.

But she is only one measly woman. Her petite body, as it was right now, was that of a normal college student. Besides her memories, what other advantage did she have to survive? Let alone enact any sort of revenge?

First, she had to ensure herself. 

Nothing like an unwanted pregnancy would happen. Fucking or getting fucked doesn't interest her, wasn't on the agenda, but she needed to make sure. She needed to stay safe for a time when she couldn't. It wasn't a risk worth taking.

She learned that the hard way.

So it was on this visit that the physician agreed to proceed with a hormonal IUD procedure on the same day. It was guaranteed to protect her from pregnancy for at least 5 years, but it could last for 7. That sounded like it was a safe span of time given the 8 years before rescue.

In the last time around she hardly saw anyone hiding in the mountainous jungles of her final years. She could take her siblings and any possible allies away to safety earlier than that. Avoid any surviving dicks by then, figuratively and literally.

Another benefit of the IUD was stopping periods. No monthly mess for that guaranteed 5 years, possibly more. Life sucked harder as a woman but with 5 years of no menstrual cycles, her chances of self-sufficient survival would go up greatly with this.

She signed the dotted line and went through with the procedure.

Though she would be sore for days, to the point she was given two bottle loads of prescription painkillers, it was well worth the slightly painful procedure. There were worse pains waiting.

There were worse pains waiting for her. The peace of mind, the bloodless convenience, the long term made it all well worth it. In such a place like a wild island, it was troublesome, dangerous even, every time a woman's cycle came. You had to account for automatic bleeding and cramping every month, if not the threat of pregnancy. Men didn't deal shit with that.

This way was cleaner. No need to concern herself with constantly cleaning or searching for appropriate leaves and moss to use. There wasn't exactly any sanitary supplies or safe spaces where she was going,

Now she could move freely, most modern people didn't realize how debilitating it is for women during that time of the month.

Sophie drove on even through the soreness and dulled pain to the pharmacy.

There she picked up the prescription allergy, pain relief, and other common travel medicines. She also stocked up on various over-the-counter medications that could be useful. Things like Epi-pens, though no one in her family had allergies, were still useful in cases of saving lives.

Even if they wouldn't use it themselves they could save others if they wished or trade the pens for valuable supplies. It also wouldn't be bad to put someone in their debt.

In the pharmacy, Sophie also did not forget vitamins and nutritional supplements. Something like Vitamin C could be a lifesaver on an island in the middle of the sea.

Scurvy was a popular pirate joke but she had seen the horrors of the disease first hand. The blistering open sores and constantly dripping blood was a sight that was basically seared into her eyelids, though she was experience seemingly far worse things. It was a slow, not slow enough, and horribly painful way to die.

Yeah, she was stocking up on Vitamin C, already tasting the blood on her gums though she reasonably knew there was none.

To avoid too much suspicion she moved on to another market pharmacy to stock up on more over-the-counter medications.

In places like Walmart and Target, she paid in cash for generic over-the-counter birth control pills, patches, some menstruation cups, and even boxes of condoms. The pills wouldn't last forever but every bit would help.

Just because she was protected didn't mean June was, she was still too vulnerable.

Her sister's death was too painful, if she could not avoid men then she must prevent June from falling pregnant at the very least. She couldn't buy too much at any one store and had to keep moving. It was annoyingly inconvenient and time-wasting but the more she had the better for June's safety.

On the topic of pregnancy and menstruation, she was focusing on June. But Mattie was important as well, if he wanted some condoms then, of course, she would give him some. He was technically an adult.

Sophie was a reasonable person and a very cynical adult. She gets how a healthy teen boy would have those urges. Seen too much to get embarrassed at this point.

In her heart though, she hopes to deter Mattie away from women and relationships in general. At least on the island. Wasn't part of the reason he got murdered? Over a girl and someone else's jealousy?

Mattie wasn't the first and wouldn't be the last deadly casualty in a petty lover's spat.

Worse than animals, she sneered.

There was also a type of woman who would purposely seduce men early on, to hang on them and use their resources. Again, Sophie was a practical person, she couldn't judge them. Even if she hadn't had to resort to such shameful deals herself she would never judge them for doing what they had to do to survive. They were only using the tools they had on hand.

Didn't mean she approved though. The majority of those types tended to be leeches and wasted dwindling supplies.

Besides, only the truly smart and crafty ones would get away with such behavior after the middle years. For the most part, they didn't have an easy death.

Some people had physical strength, others could build things or grow food to survive. These women were just using a different set of skills at their disposal. It's fine if they don't bother her or her family, that was her defining line.

Sophie felt like an overprotective parent. She couldn't let men get close to June nor let women get close to Mattie. How tiring. Unrealistic but she would prefer to herd them away in isolation and safety till their island wait time was up.

What a mess everything is, what it will be.

These were her scattered thoughts as she hopped and raided shops for the pharmacies.

That and how badly her cramps hurt. She was going to need more painkillers, a lot more painkillers.

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