Chapter 330 Shared Memories

Suzuka let out a sad, nervous giggle and said, "Anton, I used to call you that, to get your attention, remember? When Steven, my dad, took me to the guards' training grounds for the first time, I saw you there. A young, earnest, serious, full-of-dreams young man, working hard, doing good for others, striving to be a good city guard, helping people in danger, and risking his life for others. You were my first love at first sight, and I have been at your heels ever since. I came to training, called you a silly name, and tried to impress you with my progress in the same training we did to pull your attention. For years, I was close by, having feelings for you. I loved you, Antonio."

Antonio stood paralyzed, a muffled voice coming out from his mouth as he struggled to comprehend what was happening.

"No... can't be... this is... not true."

Suzuka softened her tone, leaning closer to Antonio as she shared more memories, hoping to bridge the gap between their painful past and the present.

"Remember that time," she began, a faint, warm smile playing on her lips, "when I snuck into the barracks and left that ridiculous pink ribbon in your helmet? You were so mad. You stormed around the training grounds for days trying to figure out who did it. But you never once suspected me."

"No... stop... this can't be true," he whispered.

But Suzuka did not stop, she continued, "Remember how you used to carry a small locket around your neck? The one you lost? I saw it once, peeking out from under your shirt. You never talked about it, but I knew it was important to you. When I found out later that it was a keepsake from your Dad who passed away, it broke my heart. You wore that locket close to remind yourself of him, and it made me see how deeply you cared, even if you never showed it openly. Sadly, we never found it."

"Stop... please... no more..." he whispered. 

"And that rainy evening when we were training and you insisted on staying behind to clean the grounds? I was drenched and shivering, but you shared your cloak with me, telling me to keep warm. I caught a glimpse of you quietly wiping away tears, something you never spoke of but I knew was linked to the weight you carried."

"This can't be... only Suzuka knew about it. But... she... she..." He whispered to himself again.

Suzuka paused, her gaze drifting to the ground as if the memories were too heavy to bear.

“And the little things… like how you always had a soft spot for stray animals. I saw you, one rainy afternoon, rescuing a drenched kitten from the gutters. You took it home, nursed it back to health, and kept it with you until it was strong enough to find a new home. But the poor kitten was so attached to you that he returned to you. You named him Brute. You never told anyone, but I saw.”

Antonio’s hands trembled as he clenched them into fists, trying to hold back the storm of emotions brewing within. His face was slowly turning pale, paralyzed in a mask of shock. His eyes were filled with tears he could no longer contain. 

"Is this... a nightmare? Am I... dreaming?" He whispered to himself, tears rolling down his face.

Suzuka took a deep breath and went on, her voice sounding more and more hurt.

“You were always so driven. I used to watch you train with such intensity, always pushing yourself to be better, not just for yourself but for everyone you cared about. I knew how much you wanted to make a difference, how much you wanted to protect those you loved.”

“You were always there,” she continued, her voice breaking slightly.

“I was just a kid, but I saw you. I saw your kindness, your strength, and your vulnerability. I saw a side of you that no one else did, and I loved you for it.”

Her words hung in the air like a bittersweet melody, each memory a painful reminder of what had been lost and what could have been. Antonio was silent, overwhelmed by the flood of emotions and the weight of the truth.

"Love... me? What are you saying?" Antonio mumbled to himself under his breath.

“And those stories you used to tell me about your family," She continued, "Especially the one about how your little sister used to follow you around, pretending to be a brave knight just like you. I remember you’d laugh, saying she’d be the first to charge into danger and the last to back down. You were so proud of her, and it made me realize how much you cared about the people you loved.”

As Suzuka talked her heart out, Antonio slowly started to believe that it was her. The things she was talking about only the two of them knew. But he still could not believe it. He stood frozen, his face pale as a sheet of paper. He looked at her, unable to believe it.

"But even after all the years we knew each other," she continued, her tone sounding more hurt, "you didn't even consider me as a friend. You put sleeping medicine in a drink, for me to fall asleep, and handed me over as if I was some nobody, like some stray dog... no... not even that. I was just a trash to you. You drugged me and handed me over to them like I was nothing. I will never forget the bitter taste of betrayal and the medicine you used. I can still feel that bitter taste of poppy and valerian roots on my tongue to this day."

Antonio, unable to fool himself and be in denial any longer, collapsed to his knees with a soul-crushing thud. His shoulders slumped under an invisible weight as if the burden of the entire world had suddenly anchored him to the ground. His head hung low, his eyes glazed and lifeless as he mumbled in a voice choked with despair, "It... it is... really you... but he said... he said... Jacob... he said you were... dead..."

"Dead... he said you were dead..." he repeated, whispering as if saying it any louder would shatter what was left of his fragile mind. 

"Oh, but I am very alive and standing right in front of you." She stepped closer, her eyes glowing red as she looked down at Antonio, seeing the emotional weight that had crushed him.

Antonio forced a small smile after a moment of silence. 

"I'm glad you're alright. I'm happy you're alive, Suzuka. I'm sorry for what I did."

Suzuka's anger flared, her eyes narrowing. 

"I don’t need your pathetic apologies, you worthless sack of shit!" Suzuka’s voice cracked like a whip, her eyes burning with fury. She took a threatening step forward, her body radiating an aura that made the very air around her feel suffocating. 

"You were right about one thing though, and only one damn thing. You're right, It doesn't matter. Beg, cry, grovel all you want - it won’t change a damn thing! Not now. Not ever! At this point, before I rip your heart out, I just want to know why you did it."

Antonio's shoulders slumped, his gaze dropping to the ground.

 "It doesn't matter why. If you're angry at me, just do it. Kill me for what I did to you. I hope it will bring you at least a bit of closure. I'm tired of everything, just finish it. Do what you want with me."

Suzuka's anger seemed to grow with every word, her fists clenching at her sides.

"I wanted to do this for a long time, you know. While I was trapped in that forest for a year, surviving on scraps, fighting to live another day, I dreamt of this day, when I could finally put my hands on you and make you feel all the pain I felt."

Her voice trembled with a mix of rage and pain.

"But with time, I saw things, experienced the world around me, met new people, some better, some worse. I saw how the world works. As I became an adventurer, I saw how low someone can fall. Heck, even I did some questionable things, and over time, the hatred toward you just dulled until it became just another unpleasant memory. I don't want your blood on my hands anymore."

With a nervous laugh, she added, "And besides, if I kill you, there will be at least two people who will cry for you, and I will be hated by them. I'm talking about your little brother and sister, by the way."

Antonio giggled sadly.

 "Funny you say that. By killing me, you might do them a favor instead."

Suzuka glared at Antonio, her patience wearing thin.

 “And what is that supposed to mean? Are they in some trouble? Hmm? Talk! Or I will make you. Believe me, over these few years I’ve learned how to make people talk without killing them, and it ain’t pretty.”

Antonio’s gaze dropped to the ground, the weight of her threat sinking in. He took a deep breath, his shoulders sagging under an invisible burden.

 "You changed so much... Alright... I’ll tell you... everything."

He sank to the ground, his voice heavy with resignation.

 “Everything started when my dad died. He left me his vineyard and home, but with it came a debt. At first, it was manageable, but then I got roped into a web of exploitation by some bastards who saw me as an opportunity to milk every last penny I had. The debt grew over the years, swelling with every missed payment, until it was so enormous I couldn’t scrape by. I was just a young, stupid boy trying to juggle everything - looking after my siblings, maintaining the vineyard, working as a guard, training - every coin I scraped together went to those vultures, and nothing changed. They were a gang with the backing of nobility from the main town, and I was just a flea-bag nobody from the outskirts.”

Suzuka tapped her fingers impatiently, her expression hard. She wasn’t easily moved by sob stories.

 “Focus on the main point, Antonio.”

His tone grew angrier as he continued, “Every month, things got worse. One day, I came home and found an envelope on the table. My little brother, Nick, was missing. Inside the envelope was his finger and a letter. They cut off his finger and left it in that letter, to threaten me into paying up. They said they’d send me his body in pieces with each missed payment. So, you can be damn sure I took a shady job with good pay. That’s when Jacob showed up, needing a random kid for something. In my desperation, I took the job. You just happened to be in the wrong place at the wrong time, Suzuka. I never intended to pick you. I was out of time, and you showed up at the worst moment.”

Suzuka’s anger flared. 

“Who the fuck put their dirty hands on Little Nick? Is he alright? I liked the little guy, we played often with your little sister and Nick. Wait! Is she alright?”