Sisters in Darkness

No longer in battle or focused on the conversation I can sense someone beside me.

“My turn.” At first I think she means she wishes to duel our master. Then she steps in front of me. Her red lightsaber ignites. I hold mine in position. Physically that was nothing, but emotionally I’m almost spent. Still perhaps I’m just to prideful to back down. Perhaps she knows this. My lightsaber goes from feeling light to being a bit to heavy as we begin. Along with a wave of emotions. Most prominent jealousy and shame. Jealousy that the path was clear to her after she left the Jedi on Manatis. And shame because the perfect Jedi can no longer keep up the act. I’m falling apart in from of her. She’s so strong and sure of herself. I’m proud and intimidated by such true confidence. And frustrated I can no longer keep up the act. When we were children she looked up to me. The six year old who could trow stones with the force like balls. The fourteen year old who already could receive visions. Yet I don’t know if I’ve ever felt so disconnected from the Force. Connect, block, strike, connect.

“I think I know what your problem is.” She says continuing without me having to prompt her. “You don’t follow your instincts anymore. You did more when you were younger, but even then you had this idea in your head that you would be a Jedi. So Yura what do you instincts tell you now?” There’s almost smugness to the way she asks the question. Almost. I know she’s not be cool but I’ll take me in her own way. Blunt into the point. Still sense in the force that like my master she has complete confidence in me. She kicks my hand. It stings. My grip tightens on my lightsaber. I stumble to the side. Off balance and with our form. She raises her lightsaber. Deep down I know know she won’t hurt me, but in the moment I do what she says. Somehow using the lightsaber in my hand almost feels wrong. I block her swing. With my masters lightsaber which I brought to my hand with the force. Then we’re trading blows. I’m finally able to keep up. More than keep up I’m gaining on her. A mix of Jedi training and something more emotional. Instinctual. I can see it the way she uses our training and the emotions she trusts to guid her. Her complete confidence in the Dark Side of the Force. I can sense it. Feel it. So we go on like this. Jedi training and discipline and raw emotions and instincts. Where order meets chaos. She kicks out then brings her lightsaber down. She wins dramatically.