A Yearning

Nothing was wrong with me until that morning when I woke up to prepare for the trip with my friends to the new amusement park. It was hot that day, so it was understandable how long it took me to find out, even mistaking it for sweat. A pass of my hand over my nose left a streak of blood on the back of my hand.

“Not today.”, I sigh without even being a little bit fazed by the sight of blood. A few piles of tissue filled the bathroom sink as I tried to wipe it away without leaving any marks.

“Hey Mark, are you packed up? The bus arrives in 15 mins.” Laurian called out from the living room, moving to the bath. “What are you doing in the bath at this time.”

“You know, just popping a pimple and checking for nose hair.”, I responded quickly, closing the door before she got the chance to see anything. She’d be the last person I would want to know.

“Just hurry up! I don’t want to wait in line, okay?” she pouted in her usual tone, retreating from the bathroom door. We can also go and see the cute otters in the zoo, too.”

“Yeah, why don’t we? With the others, too.”, I said, finally coming out of the bath with a big smile. It was a big one she had been waiting for so long, and seeing her wide smile was something I’d put anything on hold just to see again.

We chatted as we waited at the bus stop, looking at the bus window like a little kid, her walking in front of me and telling me to hurry up. Nothing could be as important to me as these.

“Hey, there they are! Laurian, Rey!” Luke called out to us with just as much energy as Laurian had. And there the others stood, being him. Elisa, Tim, Daniel, and Claudia. “If you don’t pick up the pace, the line for the first ride will get longer!”

“Coming, coming.” I smiled as I hurried behind Laurian. I slowed down to catch my breath. I was already getting tired. “No, just a little longer.”, I said under my breath before running up to pass them.

“Hey, wait for us!” Laurian pouted in her adorable tone as she rushed through the gates.

After that, the tiredness seemed to fade. From the Ferris wheel ride to the drop of death and the rollercoaster ride, my energy seemed endless, and their laughter made my smile wider.

“Want to get something to eat,” Daniel asked, being ahead of the group as I lagged behind with Laurian.

“Only if you’d be paying for everyone.”, Elisa teased with a smirk.

“I don’t see why he should be paying for you when you have daddy’s money.”, Tim retorted back at Elisa with a wider grin.

And just like with fire and oil, their usual spat broke out.

“It looks like they're going to be at each other’s throats this time,” Claudia said quietly, enjoying their chaos.

“Lauria! A little help with them, please.” Luke tried to pull them apart with Tim. She just shook her head, rushing over to them, leaving me a little way behind. They looked like a family seeing them from after, but that’s what they were to me.

And just like that, my energy gave way, and my focus became blurry. My chest was heavy.

“No, just a little longer.” I staggered forward to reach them. My nose was bleeding once more. This is how the dream always ends, the dream I have always wanted. Looking up and in front of me with my knees to the ground, I could see them rushing and calling out to me, Laurian rushing headfirst towards me. It would be lovely if she could hold my hand as it stretches out to her, but she never does.

My eyes open with my hand stretched out in the air on the room floor. That’s how the dream always ends. A dream that would have been if they hadn’t died and left me all alone.