The Baron Buster gambit

Red Reaper scowled as he looked over and noticed Okisato smiling manically. "Why do you scowl? You have not even made a move."

"But I'm about to. Ever hear of the Anderssen opening?" Okisato snickered as he opened the game by moving his pawn to a3.

"Of course I have. Adolf Anderssen was one of Prussia's greatest chess players in the 1800s. But his opening is not the best, though I know better than to underestimate you a third time," Red Reaper snarled as he moved his pawn to d5.

"There really isn't much opening theory regarding the Anderssen opening, but that's about to change now. I dub this move, the Anderssen opening: Prussian gambit, which in turn will evolve into something greater," Okisato snickered as he moved his pawn to e4.

"What do you mean!?" Read Reaper snarled as he promptly captured said pawn with his d-pawn.

"Well, thanks to you capturing that pawn, in what we'll call the Anderssen opening: Prussian gambit accepted, I can now play the ultimate gambit stemming from the Anderssen opening; the Prussian gambit accepted: Baron Buster gambit!" Okisato declared as he slammed his king down on e2.

Red Reaper began to seethe with fury. "You play another bongcloud!?" he shouted as he slammed his pawn down on e5.

"Yeah, that's why I'm naming this the "Baron buster" gambit, cuz it's gonna wreck you," Okisato taunted as he slid his king back to e1.

"You'll pay for that!" Red Reaper fumed as he moved his knight to f6.

"No I won't, cuz you're gonna lose," Okisato taunted as he moved his knight to c3.

Red Reaper then moved his knight to c6, but as soon as Okisato moved his pawn to d3, a malicious smile formed across his skeletal face. "He must be fatigued from facing Xiao Lin and her SPCMs. This is perfect, his ego will be his downfall!" he thought as he captured the pawn at d3 with his e-pawn.

Okisato promptly captured said pawn with his bishop, but then Red Reaper brought his bishop out to c5. He then moved his bishop to g5, and waited for Red Reaper's next move.

"Check! Herr, oni-tiger," Red Reaper sneered as he captured the pawn at f2 with his bishop.

At this point, Okisato burst into maniacle laughter.

"Have you lost it?"

"Oh no, YOU just fell for the big trap! Did you forget? My king gave up castling rights long ago, and now, you're busted!" Okisato laughed as he captured the bishop ay f2 with his king.

"Nein, it was bait to lure you out. Check again," Red Reaper sneered as he slammed his queen down on d4, sending Okisato's king to f1.

He followed up by moving his pawn to e4, but Okisato countered by moving his queen to e1. With a nasty snarl, Red Reaper moved his bishop to e6, prompting Okisato to capture the pawn on e4 with his knight. Red Reaper promptly captured said knight with his knight, but rather than capture it, Okisato instead moved his knight to f3, prompting Red Reaper to capture the pawn at b2 with his queen.

However, this allowed Okisato to be aggressive and move his rook to b1, sending Red Reaper's queen to a2. Okisato moved his rook back to a1, annoying Red Reaper as he moved his queen back to b2. Now Okisato decided the time was right to capture the knight on e4 with his bishop, prompting Red Reaper to castle on the king's side.

"Kind of ironic you get annoyed whenever I do a king bongcloud opening, considering you're a kaiser," Okisato snickered as he moved his king to f2.

"It's the humiliation of losing to such a move. You throw your vulnerable king in the middle, yet still manage to win? It's humiliation!" Red Reaper fumed as he moved his pawn to f6.

"More like a lack of skill on your part," Okisato taunted as he slid his bishop to f4.

"We'll see who's laughing at the end," Red Reaper retorted as he moved his a-rook to c8.

Okisato decided to once again go after the queen and moved his rook to b1, sending Red Reaper's queen to a2 once more. But this, time, rather than attack it again, he instead captured the pawn at b7 with his rook, infuriating Red Reaper. He promptly moved his rook to f7, but calmed down a bit after Okisato moved his queen to c3, allowing him to move his knight to e7 on his next turn.

"You missed your chance to get my knight."

"Yeah, I got a queen instead," Okisato snickered as he moved his rook to a1.

Now the only viable move for Red Reaper was to trade queens by moving his queen to c4. "I won't be the only one losing material," he snarled as Okisato captured the queen at c4 with his queen.

"Who said I needed a queen to mate you?" Okisato taunted as Red Reaper captured the queen at c4 with his bishop.

Okisato then shifted his focus back to his rook, and promptly captured the pawn at a7 with it. Red Reaper opted to go after one of the bishops and moved his knight to d5. However, Okisato moved his knight to d2, prompting Red Reaper to try and save his bishop by moving it to a2.

"Whoops, guess you're fatigued too. Oh wait, no you're not, you're just that stupid!" Okisato taunted as he moved his pawn to a4.

"Who's stupid!? You gave up a bishop! It's a trade at worst!" Red Reaper fumed as he captured the bishop at f4 with his knight.

"If you still had skin, I'd be under it," Okisato snickered as he captured the bishop at a2 with his rook.

Red Reaper gritted his teeth in anger and moved his rook to e7. Seeing the move was an empty threat, Okisato moved his pawn up to a5. Red Reaper decided to actually threaten the bishop and moved his pawn to f5, however, Okisato it to d3. Red Reaper was beginning to lose himself to anger and promptly captured the bishop on d3 with his knight, but Okisato simply captured said knight with his c-pawn. However, Red Reaper wasn't done yet, and moved his rook to d8.

"Wow, you really have anger issues," Okisato snickered as he moved his pawn to a6.

It was at this moment, that Red Reaper truly snapped. "Halt den Mund! Du ärgerst mich mehr als jeder andere, dem ich bisher begegnet bin! Ich HASSE dich! Du spielst die dümmste aller Eröffnungen und gewinnst trotzdem!? Ich bin ein Großmeister mit einer Elo von über 2700! Du wirst mich nicht dreimal demütigen [Shut up! You piss me off more than anyone I've faced thus far! I HATE you! You play the dumbest of openings, yet you still win!? I'm a grandmaster with a rating over 2700! You won't humiliate me thrice]!" he shouted as he violently captured the pawn at d3 with his rook.

"Sorry, Ich wusste nicht, dass du eine weinerliche Schlampe bist [I didn't know you were a whiny bitch]. Check," Okisato taunted as he moved his rook to a8.

"You... You speak German!?" Red Reaper roared as he slammed his king down on f7.

"Just enough to insult you, dummkopf [fool]," Okisato taunted as he moved his pawn to a7.

If he still had sweat glands, Red Reaper would be sweating as he realized there was little he could do to stop that pawn from promoting. However, he made one last ditch effort to do so and moved his pawn to c5.

"Oh no, my pawn's threatened by the rook and my rook's blocking the promotion square. Guess I'm screwed... CHECK again!" Okisato maniacally laughed as he moved his rook to f8, leaving Red Reaper with little choice but to capture it with his king. "And now, check out the queen's return," he snickered as he moved his pawn to a8 and promoted it to a queen.

"I thought you said you didn't need a queen," Red Reaper growled as he moved his rook to e8.

"I lied!" Okisato laughed as he slammed his queen down on c6.

Still trying to salvage things, Red Reaper moved his d-rook to d8, but then, Okisato discovered the key to inevitable mate, and moved his knight to c4. Red Reaper didn't see the mate though, and moved his rook to c8, unknowingly hastening his demise. He did so once more after Okisato delivered a check by moving his queen to d6, prompting him to move his rook to e7.

Mate was still 15 moves away for now, but still inevitable as Okisato moved his rook to a7. Red Reaper countered with the best moves that could be made though, and moved his rook to e8. Okisato followed up by moving his knight to e5, while Red Reaper moved his pawn to f4. But is was then that Okisato made another brilliant move and moved his knight to c6, reducing the amount of moves until mate to just 4. Now Red Reaper saw the mate and began to be consumed by anger once more as he moved his king to g8.

"Wow, two brilliant moves that reduced the amount of moves till mate. Looks like it's mate in 3 unless you mess up more," Okisato taunted as he captured the rook at e7 with his knight.

Red Reaper went silent, but trembled with fury as he moved his king to h8.

"Huh? Why'd you go quiet?" Okisato asked as he moved his queen to e5.

"Halt den Mund [Shut up]," Red Reaper muttered as he moved his pawn to c4.

"Huh? What was that about how you felt about losing to another king bongcloud opening and going 0-3 against me?" Okisato taunted as he moved his knight to g6.

"Du verdammtes Stück Scheiße! FICK DICH! FICK DICH, FICK DICH! DU BIST EIN VERDAMMTES STÜCK SCHEISSE! ICH BRINGE DICH DAFÜR UM! ICH HASSE DICH! ICH HASSE DICH [You fucking piece of shit! FUCK YOU! FUCK YOU FUCK YOU! YOU'RE A FUCKING PIECE OF SHIT! I'LL KILL YOU FOR THIS! I HATE YOU! I HATE YOU]!" Red Reaper shouted as loud as he could as he violently captured the knight at g6 with his h-pawn, sending the piece flying before it disintegrated into thin air.

"Thanks for the info. Oh and checkmate, ba-ka," Okisato snickered as he captured the pawn at g7, winning the game.

But before Red Reaper was banished to a black hole in outer space, Okisato gave him a double middle finger salute before he was warped back to the ground. Then unceremoniously, Red Reaper and his Fokker poofed away as he was sent to the black hole.

"And here I thought a black hole would appear in the sky and suck him up in dramatic fashion. Well, an underwhelming defeat, is fitting for an underwhelming opponent like him," Okisato snickered.

The full game:

White: Okisato Tanabe (2630) Black: Red Reaper (2773)

1. a3 d5

2. e4 dxe4

3. Ke2 e5

4. Ke1 Nf6

5. Nc3 Nc6

6. d3 exd3

7. Bxd3 Bc5

8. Bg5 Bxf2+

9. Kxf2 Qd4+

10. Kf1 e4

11. Qe1 Be6

12. Nxe4 Nxe4

13. Nf3 Qxb2

14. Rb1 Qa2

15. Ra1 Qb2

16. Bxe4 O-O

17. Kf2 f6

18. Bf4 Rac8

19. Rb1 Qa2

20. Rxb7 Rf7

21. Qc3 Ne7

22. Ra1 Qc4

23. Qxc4 Bxc4

24. Rxa7 Nd5

25. Nd2 Ba2

26. a4 Nxf4

27. Rxa2 Re7

28. a5 f5

29. Bd3 Nxd3+

30. cxd3 Rd8

31. a6 Rxd3

32. Ra8+ Kf7

33. a7 c5

34. Rf8+ Kxf8

35. a8=Q+ Re8

36. Qc6 Rdd8

37. Nc4 Rc8

38. Qd6+ Re7

39. Ra7 Re8

40. Ne5 f4

41. Nc6 Kg8

42. Nxe7+ Kh8

43. Qe5 c4

44. Ng6+ hxg6

45. Qxg7#