Conviction

What a beautiful morning... ~♥

When she woke up, Adanita was in Rosamund's arms. He was sleeping peacefully on his back, hugging her while her head comfortably rested on his chest.

That wasn't how they were when they fell asleep ♥
Her bed was large enough to fit her comfortably, but two people were a bit too much. She decided to sleep with her back against the cabin wall so he could get up and freely leave if he ever decided he changed his mind, but he didn't. He instead snuggled up to her with his back turned to her, giving her a wonderful opportunity to bury her face in his long, beautiful hair. And to kiss the back of his neck a few more times, and enjoy the quiet sounds he made just for her. She sneaked a hand under his shirt and placed it in the middle of his chest, enjoying the feeling of his curly chest hair under her fingers. He shivered from her touch and her breath on his neck, and tightly pressed his hand against hers, intent on not letting her go. As if she'd just leave. How could she? She had his heartbeat to enjoy, feeling it under her palm. Listening in to the rhythmic beat, listening to his breathing slow down as he was falling asleep in her arms, warm and safe...

It must've been mid-morning. The sun was shining through the windows of her cabin, lighting up the dust in the air. She could feel a mild headache forming, probably from drinking, but at least she remembered the last night very clearly. Including her unfortunate attempt at poetry. Rosamund was better at giving compliments, damn it. Your eyes are like moons- She wished she could kick her past self for that. At least he was so thoroughly out of it from her kisses, hopefully he wouldn't remember it. Gods, his reaction to her was so endearing. She was worried he'd bring that calm, cold personality with him to bed, but now she knew there was nothing to fear. He completely melted in her arms and that was everything she could ever ask for. She found her way to his heart and his chilly bite reserved for strangers and acquaintances didn't apply to her anymore.

She loved him so much. She didn't know how to put it to words... hopefully, he didn't mind. She did have other ways to show it, after all. If he even still wanted it. Alcohol made people act strange, after all. Neither of them were completely out of their minds, of course, but it wasn't as if they could think straight. Perhaps he got carried away in the moment, perhaps he wouldn't want her anymore when he sobered up.

What a depressing line of thought. She should go get properly dressed and get ready for the day instead of thinking such nonsense. He could do whatever he wanted to when he woke up. She carefully tried to sit up without disturbing him, but his arm tightened around her in sheer panic, stopping her from moving further. His eyes were closed, he was clearly still asleep.

And he wanted her here ❤︎₊ ⊹₊
₊ ⊹ With him ❤︎₊ ⊹₊ ⊹ ₊⊹

And he looked as if he was hurting. She lowered her head back on his shoulder, placing an arm over him so she could snuggle up to him better, as well as use the opportunity to play with a lock of his hair. She was careful not to pull on it, she didn't want to wake him up if he was still sleepy, especially not in such a painful manner. But she did want to braid his hair at some point. He promised he'd let her. She closed her eyes. He slowly relaxed again around her, calming down. She didn't think it would've upset him that much... of course she could stay by his side for however long he liked...

He was holding onto her like a drowning man would to flotsam. That made her a bit sad. Last night it seemed he genuinely didn't think himself to be good enough to be loved. That really wasn't true. He was perfect. And all hers. She will shower him with so much affection he will forget nonsense like that. She was already getting some ideas on what she could do to remind him she loved him...

Was that why he never looked for someone, even as an adult?

Gods, they really were both a bit of a mess. And that was fine, she supposed. They talked things out, they were patient with each other. They'll figure this out somehow. The personal part, at least. There was still another problem, though...

Rosamund stirred in his sleep and she placed her hand on his cheek. He woke up looking lost and confused, but his face softened up when he saw her. He put his hand over hers, rubbing it against his cheek. His beard was soft, but ticklish~ She got up on her elbow and came closer to him.
"Good morning," he politely said. He looked at her so gently, so sweetly, as if she was the most precious jewel in the world.
"Good morning, love. We should do something about your habit of sleeping in," she said. "You wouldn't let me get up, and I didn't want to wake you up."
"Oh? Do we know the time?" he asked, tucking a few stray locks of hair behind her ear.
"Before noon... probably. How are you feeling?"
"Like I really need a cup of tea," he admitted.
"That can be arranged- oh." He wrapped his arms around her tightly, intent on not letting her go. It's not like she couldn't get out of it, but it's not like she wanted to. "I can't get you tea like this."
"I know. Sorry. For a moment, waking up... I couldn't remember where I was. I thought I was dreaming. Just a moment longer..." he quietly said.
She was genuinely taken aback. He wasn't joking about his brain being a mess. And she thought she was worse of the two. "Isn't that far too cruel to say?" she weakly asked.
"Ah. Right. I apologize," he said. "Instead, how about I say you are wonderful to wake up to? You are beautiful beyond words, and I'm not talking just about your perfect face." He gently tapped his fingertip against her nose.
"That's much better," she agreed. "And how about I kiss you in return?"
The way his face immediately brightened up gave her butterflies. "I'd love that." He was shivering from mere anticipation, blushing, completely smitten with the idea. She liked that. If asking if she could kiss him brought him so much joy, she will simply have to ask him every time. Just to see that look on his face again. She kissed the smile in the corner of his lips first, before leaning in properly.

Blank.

The way he'd kiss her would simply leave her mind completely empty. He was distracting even before, but this was some professional work. She could barely think in his presence. He was making her dizzy and weak and she loved it so much. She made the mistake of leaving his hands free this time around, too, so he used the opportunity against her to the fullest, petting her all over.

Absolute bliss ♥

Until- "Ow! Ow, what are you doing?"
"Gods, you are full of knots all over. Have you been under a lot of stress lately?"
"What do you th-" She let out a weak whine and gently bit his ear to distract him. It didn't work and he continued moving his fingers across her back for a few moments longer before finally stopping. She was breathing heavily, tightly gripping the sheets. Whatever he did felt so good, but it hurt, too. She was deeply conflicted. She wanted more. Why did it feel so nice?
"It's a massage," he said, as if she'd ever have heard that word before. As if she was supposed to know what he was talking about. She could feel her face was glowing red while he continued trailing off, lost in thought. "Hm. Now I wonder when did it make its way to the west... Lay down on your chest for me, please," he said.
"What are you going to do?" she demanded to know.
"It's just applying some pressure to your muscles. Kneading. It will help you relax. It's especially good for you after exercise. Do you ever feel pain after training?"
"A- a little," she admitted.
"I can help with that, if you'd like. It's fine if you won't. I'd just like to make you feel good. I'm sorry I surprised you..."

Gods, how was he so- so- She couldn't even put it to words. Let alone say no. She should've just pinned him down again and played around however she liked instead of letting him catch her by surprise like that. It wasn't fair. She wanted to do something nice to him, not ask him to do more for her. But she really couldn't resist. She flopped on the bed carefully, letting him get out from under her as she laid down as he said. He sat down next to her and raised her shirt to have a proper look at her.

"Ooh. I like your tattoo," he said. "Is that the Teuta wind rose?"
"Mmh," she said, tightly gripping the sheets. What was he going to do next?
"Beautiful work of art. Does it have a special meaning?" he asked.
"To have wind in my back wherever I go," she quietly said. She winced when he started to gently trail its outline with his fingertip. She was ticklish and it seemed he was becoming highly aware of the fact.
"I'll be more careful," he promised. "Let me know if you want me to stop and I will. You are alright with this?"
"Mm." Yes, please, absolutely.
"Very well, then."

He got his warm hands under her shirt, on her shoulders. Long violin fingers gently started kneading her muscles, looking for issues and masterfully working on them. It felt amazing. She was quietly gasping and tightly gripping the sheets as he patiently worked on her. Her heart was loudly beating in her ears. It- it felt so relaxing...

"I want you to feel good in my presence, too," he quietly said as she melted into a puddle under his touch. "I love what you did with me last night, but it just wouldn't work if I only asked for things from you, you know?"
"But I love the way you react to me. I l-liked pinning you down," she said.
"That makes two of us," he shamelessly whispered into her ear. "But I still want an opportunity to toy around with you. Let me do something nice for you, too."
"I- I didn't think you'd be so direct about this."
"Why? Were your previous lovers more embarrassed?"
"Aye..." More or less. Things weren't as simple, but she didn't want to think about other people when she had Rosamund next to her.

"It's about control," he easily admitted. "I always need to hold the reins, be the center of attention, keep the situation under control wherever I go. Give commands, have people follow my orders. It feels amazing to hand it over to someone else. To not be the one doing things, but having things done to me."
That... honestly made sense.
"But that doesn't mean I expect you to do everything. I want you to enjoy yourself, too. I want to do things you'd like to you. I don't think we should plan around repaying every little thing we do for each other-"
"Ah!"
"Knot." He eased up on her and carefully leaned closer to give her a kiss on the cheek. "Better?"
He could make her squirm if he wanted to. She wordlessly gave him a nod. Was this man ever capable of shutting up, she wondered with a weak smile. Yes, when she was holding him down and silencing him with kisses. A solution that can be easily arranged, but for now she was enjoying herself under his touch, accompanied with his gentle voice. He could talk all day and she wouldn't get tired of it... but the weak moans she could bring out of him were incomparably sweet.
"In any case, I believe there should still be some amount of reciprocity. I want to take care of you, too. Even if we both prefer it the other way around. I plan to make sure I get to spend as much time as I can with you. I am certain we will have more opportunities for something like this."

Ah. Right. The other issue.

Despite really not wanting to, Adanita sat up anyway. Rosamund let her go as soon as she made a movement and placed his hand over hers. "Are your shoulders feeling better?" he lovingly asked.
"A-aye," she said. She could bring him so much pleasure with so little effort, but by gods, he wasn't lagging behind at all. She gave him another little kiss on the cheek. "You know, sailors know their way around knots, too," she whispered into his ear.

That. That was the face that she really found enjoyable. She could pounce him right now and he'd let her. She could completely disarm him with such ease, and there really wasn't anything better than that. But, as much as she wanted to spend the whole day in bed with him, discovering other little buttons they could press for each other, they really needed to discuss other things. Things they both decided to ignore. She moved past him and went to the door for a moment, ordering one of her crew to bring them tea. Rosamund took the opportunity to freshen up a little before returning to the bed, leaning against the cabin wall. He accepted the cup from her as she joined him by his side and leaned his head on her shoulder.

"We are absolutely screwed," he quietly said.
"Mhm... Having second thoughts?"
"No, absolutely not. I'm afraid I simply cannot allow this opportunity to slip through my fingers."
"Me neither." She sipped some tea, clearing her mind a little. The ship was gently rocking them and he closed his eyes. He looked so peaceful...

"I didn't expect politics to be my pillow talk," he joked. "I wanted to learn more about you. Where you came from, how you ended up here... Your favourite color, your family..."
"I agree," she said. She wanted to learn more about him, too. She had so many questions, and no time to ask.
He let out a sigh. "Let's talk, then. Do you see this relationship lasting?"
"Do you?" she asked in return.
"No."
"No."
There was simply too much happening at once. It was impossible for stars to align so perfectly, wasn't it? But she didn't want to leave him...
"I understand," he quietly said. "You cannot leave the Cove to fend for itself, and I could never ask you to. The golden cage of nobility doesn't suit you, my love. And I... don't think I can leave my position. I must keep my family safe, too."
"Do you think the Duchess is connected to the devil that attacked you?"
"Maybe. It's difficult to say for certain. Something is definitely wrong with her crown, but I don't know what it is. The fact that she seems to be aware of at the very least some parts of the previous time should point to yes, but... I am not sure I can make this connection so lightly."
So even that was unsure. "What if we killed her?" she asked.
"I fear the consequences of that. She is in Sarmia's innermost circle. I don't think either of us would ever be safe, unless we can absolutely guarantee they could never make a connection."
Risky. Alright, she could understand that. She took a deep breath.

"I promised you before," she quietly said. "Once all of this is over, I would bring you the horizon. I- I wish I could make it true. You said it yourself that this place is suffocating for you. That you never wanted to be the Governor..."
"No. I didn't. But now that I am in the position of near-absolute power over this colony, I plan to use it. I want to make this world a little bit better. A little bit safer. I cannot waste this..." There was some undertone of absolute despair to all of this. The one that surfaced only when he remembered his past life. She wrapped an arm around him and pressed her lips against the top of his head, enjoying the scent of his hair while he was taking his time to recover.
"You really have a way of bringing me back..." he weakly said.
"What do you mean?"
"When I'm with you, when you hold me. I feel as if my body is finally, truly mine. I feel alive, and it's everything I ever wanted. Thank you for being my moment of respite."

That's it. This was the point, she decided. Right here. From now on, she needed to do everything she could to ensure they never get separated again. She didn't know how, and she certainly didn't want to trample on his ambitions to make the world a better place, but damn it all, she wanted him to be better. He deserved to be at peace.

He deserved the world.

But those thoughts could wait for another time. Desire was one thing, but planning this would be a completely different monster.

"So... even if it's only temporary, you still want us to continue like this?"
"Yes," he said. "It doesn't need to last forever. I just want to be by your side for as long as I can."
"Living in the moment?"
"I learned it from you."

She could kiss him. But that would certainly lead to both of them dropping their teas, so she needed to keep a lid on it.

"What about the rest of the people?" she asked.
"This decision," he firmly said, "I leave in your hands. I am in no way embarrassed of you, and I refuse to ask you to either hide or reveal yourself to the people. I can think of thousands of arguments for showing our affection publicly, for hiding it all, or for good old fashioned acting. If we are openly lovers, people will talk. Behind my back, that I am a weak leader who is working in the interest of pirates because I found you. Behind your back, either the same but coming from your enemies amongst pirates, or that you are a witch who charmed me and now has me completely wrapped around her finger."
"Do I?"
"You absolutely do," he shamelessly said. "Whatever you ask me for, it's yours."
The familiar fluttering was back. "Rosamund, if you keep talking like that, there is no one in this would who could stop me from pinning you down right this instant. And I'll kiss you so much you will pass out."
"Promise?" he quietly asked.

That's it. She downed her cup and set it down on the floor. He did the same, albeit more slowly, and she put the cup next to hers before picking him up and sitting him down between her legs. She gently grabbed his wrists and pulled him back towards her. There it was again, that silent shiver of anticipation as she moved his hair out of the way and pulled on his shirt to reveal the back of his neck and shoulders. She left some hickeys on him, but she didn't care. She pressed his lips against his skin and he let out another moan, barely capable of sitting straight. There were so many things she could and planned to do to him, but they had to wait for the right time. Right now, she had an appetizer, just a little taste of what was to come. He was so, so sweet, moving his head out of the way so she could reach his neck more easily. He was using the opportunity this position gave him to show where he liked being touched the most, shivering as he moved around for the next kiss. Wordlessly begging for more. She hugged him tightly to keep him in place and started whispering sweet nothings to his ear. Letting him know he was handsome and that she loved him very much. Letting him know about all the ideas she had for him, and things she could do. The little hairs on the back of his neck were raised on ends and he was completely red in the face. Good. This was how she liked him the most. Weak from her, in the same way she felt around him.

She closed her eyes and placed herself in such a way her breath was tickling the most sensitive spot on his neck. She was giving him time to recover from this, but she'll be damned if she ever lets him think completely straight in her presence ever again. He was driving her crazy, this was just returning the favour.

"I think I m-made good arm candy for you," he weakly said.
"Oh? And what is that?" she quietly purred.
"I h-held onto you-your arm for th-the whole event. Everyone s-saw you with a han-handsome m-man."
"Oh, right. It could reignite the rumors, even if we hide this..." She absentmindedly kissed him again as he shivered in her arms. "I think I'd make good arm candy for you too, though. Pirate Queen, Adanita Vervain. Think about the scandal~"
"If- if we m-manage to convince ev-everyone we are r-really in love," he tried. "That- it's n-not a ruse. I th-think we could safely be together w-without people try-i-ing to g-get involved in our private af-affairs."
"Are you saying this because you want to cause a scandal, or because you really think it would work?" Did she overdo it? He firmly held himself pressed against her, that part wasn't on her...

"Don't you wanna go crazy sometimes?"

She broke him. Oops.

Gods. If she needed to be the voice of reason, something would end up on fire. Several things, most likely. She tried to consider their options better, but Rosamund was right there, basically begging for more. How could she think properly in a situation like that, completely caused by both of them?

"How about we get you home," she weakly said. "Tell the others, and then think on what to do? I don't think I'm right of mind..." It was already late morning, or perhaps noon. People will be searching for them. Well, for him, specifically. Lord Governor went missing right after the event. If that wasn't a cause for a scandal, she didn't know what was. He wordlessly nodded.

Well... it was already late. Nobody would mind if they spent a few more minutes...

˚ʚ♡ɞ˚