Chapter 32:

Yowie Hunt Season 3 ep 3: Pizza pasta, bake a crappy cake

The Shiruka Collection


Dumbee and I journeyed onward.

"We should forge for cakes. That guy's gonna want one when he sees us again," Dumbee smiled.

"I don't care what that furball wants. If he tries to so much as touch me, I'll punt him."

Suddenly, a mustachioed koala dressed in overalls appeared alongside a koala orchestra.

"Hey, it's a Dumbee! Who's a the girl?" the koala asked.

"We're looking for a yaoi yowie. I'm Roux's girlfriend," I responded.

"Roux, the sciocco that a went cookoo crazy? He was a terrible! Failed a rhythm game 69 times, failed a sussy game, and a failed the big question. He shouldn't have been an asshole."

"Well, I did not need to hear all that fluff. Do you know where the yaoi yowie lives?"

"You seem a smarter, but just as arrogant as the kangaroo. I saw you ran away from Ketsuketsu without a paying the toll."

"I'm not cutting off one hair for that furball."

"He was only a joking. But if you continue to a disrespect him, he will a follow through on his threat. Let Ravio help you. I'll lend a you my kitchen. Bake a pizza pie or a cake for him and he'll a forgive you."

"How bout we just keep moving. Dumbee-"

"Crikey mate! Look at this there's a kitchen," Dumbee smiled as he ran over to the kitchen hidden in the bushes.

I decided to leave him.

*SMACK*

I suddenly found my face pressed against an invisible wall.

"Can't go past this point without Dumbee," Ri-chan's voice rang out.

"Why not?"

"Cuz I said so bitch!" Now go bake something to get Dumbee's hunky ass to move. Bye bitch!"

I begrudgingly made my way to the kitchen. Dumbee began crudely beating the dough and pouring obscene amounts of ingredients into the mixing bowl.

*Maddie lost 2014 brain cells*

I immediately took control of the cooking. I may not be a chef, but I am skilled at chemistry.

Ravio then began singing funiculi funicula, or so I thought.

"Pizza pasta put it in a box. Deliver it to Ketsuketsu and rub it on his ass his ass his ass his ass his ass his ass! I love tortellini now I'm going to succ some sauce."

*Maddie lost 2,004 brain cells*

I decided to cook quickly before that little bastard sang another degenerate bastardization of that song. Though that song did give me an idea for how to ensure that little furball never messes with me.

*Maddie regained 110 brain cells*

"Looks like you're actually smarter than that idiot. Guess making your IQ 110 really did play out in your favor. I think I'll grant you the ability to regain brain cells whenever you do something super smart. It will only be 110 each time though. Bye bitch!" Ri-chan's voice rang out.

Seems my intellect and maturity is being recognized.

...

As I finished making the cake, the furball and his two buddies arrived.

"Here, I made a cake," I snarled.

"Ore wa Ketsu ga daisuki desu," Ketsu ketsu glared.

"He says, too late. Your hair is now the payment," Lime green bodysuit guy snickered.

"Oh, I actually put all my hair in the cake," I smiled.

"Bullshit! You look the same as you did back then!" Shitty Sal yelled.

"It's a wig. Why are you here?"

"Oh, the hairless prune is now the rice paddy bitch so I'm a semi-free man! Now I get to go around paddling assess!" Shitty Sal grinned as he whipped out his wooden paddle.

"Ore wa ketsu ga daisuki desu," Ketsuketsu smiled as he took the cake.

"Good job. You are granted the toll," Lime green bodysuit guy smiled.

"Thanks, enjoy the cake," I smiled as I began dragging Dumbee away.

*Maddie regained 110 brain cells*

"Why're we leaving? Don't ya wanna hear em praise your baking?" Dumbee asked.

"No, I'm too selfless for that," I lied.

"Though why'd you tell em there was hair in it? I didn't see you put any in."

"Well, I thought the cake would be enough. But the furball was being a bitch about it, so I decided to use my brain."

"Not good mate. Lying to him will get you in big trouble, not just with him, but his followers."

"Who cares, we'll be long gone before he realizes. Besides, I doubt those three will be in any state to act out against us."

...

As the three finished eating the cake, Ketsuketsu scowled.

"Ore wa ketsu ga daisuki desu."

"I know great one, there was no hair at all. She lied just to get the toll paid," Lime green bodysuit guy scowled.

"Crafty bitch. I'm actually impressed," Shitty Sal laughed.

Before the two could shoot him a death glare, all their bowels began to grumble.

"OH SHIT! THAT BITCH PUT LAXATIVES IN THE CAKE! FORGET WHAT I SAID, FUCK THAT BITCH!" Shitty Sal groaned as he began frantically digging a hole.

The three screamed in discomfort as the laxatives took effect.

...

Ravio and his koala entourage appeared before me and Dumbee on a flying blimp.

"You fucked up, now allow me to sing," Ravio stated as he began singing to funiculi funicula.

"Pizza pasta you're a piece of shit. Ketsuketsu's gonna get your ass. Throw tortellini at your titties lather you in tartar sauce! You'll be bald and creamy while I laugh at your despair."

*Maddie lost 2,004 brain cells*

"Yeah no, I'm gonna outsmart this dumb land," I said as I grabbed Dumbee's boomerang out of his pocket.

I then threw it at Ravio, hitting him in the face and knocking him to the ground. I ducked to avoid the boomerang slicing me, but Dumbee stood like an idiot and was beheaded.

*Maddie lost 1 brain cell to revive Dumbee*

Dumbee reappeared a little ways down the path. At least he respawns in convenient places. I still have plenty of brain cells left. So long as this idiot doesn't run off anywhere, I'll make it through this crap.

Mario Nakano 64
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