Another World's Truest Hero

Birds chirped in the distance. They didn’t sound like normal birds, but like children mocking the sounds of birds. Or birds mocking the sound of children. It sounded like someone was getting mocked. Or killed. It wasn’t a very good impersonation, a very good sound. Not at all.

The irritating screeches of mockingbirds in the distance caused eyes to flutter like wings, taking in the sunlight which carved through the canopy overhead, illuminating the surroundings in a luminescent glow. This pair of eyes adopted shock and curiosity, but also solemness.

“Buddha-sama, what have you done…? Is this because I never skipped my morning meditation sessions each day, or oharae as Sensei Sephirothsword57 recommended we do in order to stave off nasty Yokai? No… that’s Shintoism… how culturally insensitive of me. I should be sternly reprimanded in the comments below…” A man chuckled as he arose from the grassy ground below, stepping onto the feet of giants, his own feet. “Buddha-sama, have you allowed me to live once again…? This… this is… super sugoi…”

Bartholomew Sagittarius Valentine Reid III arose from death, sultry black eyes flitting around to take in the vastness of the forest that surrounded him. Tree trunks coloured emerald reflected the morning sunlight, like prisms of waving splendor that served not only to stave off darkness, but flashbang him as if seeking entry into A site.

His ahegao-print shirt, stained with dried crimson, obscured the tarnish of his soul, and so he was safe from degeneracy.

He remained at large. Sorry- he remained large, abnormally so. His meaty, grimy fingers clutched onto the metal sheath of his katana, from which the katana was missing. Bartholomew had dropped his sword when he had been stabbed by DemontheDemon, so it remained true that men only kept in death what stuck with them.

Bartholomew let out a hollow, shuddering breath, so large that it nearly blew away the forest with it. His heart beat softly, feeling pain. It wasn’t heartburn, he thought. The doctors had given him medicine for that. Besides, high blood pressure was his strength. It was the only exam he had ever passed with flying colours.

Beside him, the large remnants of a toppled tree crushed the grass, sprouting multi-coloured flowers from underneath. Their petals sagged under the only shade in the forest, free of sunlight. Free of life. Looking at those flowers, Bartholomew bit his quivering lip. Such a pretty sight reminded him of many things- things he had said goodbye to only moments prior.

Bittersweet memories flashed through his mind- of Elizabeth, of the wonderful time he had spent with her in the motherland(the great nation of Nippon), and of all the dreams and hopes he had left behind on Earth. He sat on top of the large trunk, which cracked and shattered with the might of his weight. This tree that had grown strong with centuries of age was immediately destroyed by his sheer size.

Then, he began to sob softly.

Repeating the mantra in his head, tears dripped down his chubby cheeks, soaking the hairs of his beard. “Remember the simulations… remember the simulations… remember the simulations…”

But no matter how hard he tried to recall, the dating simulations had never taught him how to deal with grief. Since he had spent his life in the basement of his parent’s house, shielded from any interaction with them, neither had they. On the internet, men didn’t cry, and so his tears were foreign to him.

“All this time, I only had one goal, and that was to hold the hand of a woman…a real woman. I once thought that this goal would be accomplished by meeting EmiliatheCatLover998, but even this turned out to be a cruel trick played by DemontheDemon… but even in the face of despair, I met someone who was willing to accept me for who I was, and see me for the nice guy I am…” His self-deprecation was overwhelming, not just him, but also to the writer. He cried out these words, his sobs echoing along with the screeching cacophony of mockingbirds in the distance. “Elizabeth, why… why did I have to die? Why couldn’t I spend one more day in the motherland with you… Elizabeth, I didn’t even know your real name, your Japanese name… we were supposed to get married so I could receive a Spouse or child of Japanese National Specific Visa… now, I won’t be able to make any more memories with you. I just want to… to see you…”

He stared at the grassy ground below, wallowing in his self-pity, his strange detachment from himself, from his morals. When he thought about Elizabeth, he wondered if it was because he was romantically interested in her, or if it was just because she was a stepping stone in furthering his goals.

Suddenly, his eyes began to glow a crimson colour, snapping him into a cold, unfeeling state. This sudden feeling caused him to tremble, but the grief and sadness dissipated immediately after. Now, he felt calm, tranquil, composed, still, serene, peaceful, passive, restful, quiet, and placated.

And then, gifted with the power of plot, he became inherently aware of how the world before him worked, for some reason.

Reaching out his hand, Bartholomew spoke in a deep intonation, “order.”

Bright-blue flecks shot downwards from the heavens, intermingling with the air at his fingertips before transforming into an illusory window, displaying multitudes of yap and unnecessary infodumping.

{The camera pans behind a tree, obscuring Bartholomew, and thus the information on the window from view, cucking the reader.}

A large, bellowing laugh erupted from Bartholomew, humour churning in the pits of his abyssal stomach like enraged flames. It was almost maddened, filled with power, sickness, and fading despair.

“Of course, in this world, there’s not only the grief of having abandoned my past life. There’s also definitely magic. There’s always magic in a new world. And probably swords. And elves. And the final big bad enemy is probably a Demon King. And there’s probably a tournament arc too. And a magic school… yes, a magic school…”

Bartholomew smirked. In a cold, calculating tone, he spoke, “TLDR: I’m powerful as fuck now…”

Bartholomew Sagittarius Valentine Reid III, codenamed BartholomewHokageIII had been isekai’d into another world.

Perchance.