This Girl Could be a Writer

Like Akimoto promised, she spent roughly the next thirty minutes reading over a portion of my piece.

I could feel the room getting hotter… it wasn’t just me right? I was sweating like crazy twenty minutes in. Did the AC break?

There’s no way I’m this nervous.

I relentlessly scanned her face for any hint as to what she was thinking. However, her poker face was unmatched.

Stone-cold.

When she finally set down my draft, I mustered the courage to ask what she thought.

“So… Uh, Akimoto-san… What did you think?”

She scratched her cheek and flashed a wry smile. I know the harsh reality of what she’s about to say… but that won’t make it hurt any less.

“Ah, you know, it definitely had its good points.”

“R-really? Like what?”

“Uhm, like uh— when your MC uh— you know, that scene in the…” Akimoto trailed off

“Just say it… Tell me the truth.”

“It was horrible! One of the worst things I ever read!”

Okay-okay! You didn’t need to be so adamant about it.

“Kiyotaka-kun… could it be… you have no idea how to write?”

“No! That’s not the case at all! I’m the president of the writing club! Of course I know how.”

Akimoto raised an eyebrow then picked up my draft, waving it back and forth.

“Then what is this?”

That’s checkmate, isn’t it? I put my head into my arms and sighed. “That’s… My novel.”

“Kiyotaka-kun, from what I read I think I know your issue.”

“Hm? Seriously?”

“Yes. I have a lot more experience than you think reading light novels. I see some of the ideas you go for, and honestly, some work, but where you fall flat on your face—like horribly unfathomably short—is your dialogue.”

“Okay… I think you're exaggerating a little.”

“But I’m not! Here, let’s run through this scene where the MC and the heroine are shopping together.”

“I don’t get how this will help, but alright.”

Akimoto stood up with a few pages of my draft. I copied her and stood about a meter away.

“Naturally, I’ll play the heroine, and Kiyotaka you’ll play the MC… I’ll begin.” She cleared her throat.

Line Kaoru: “Kawamura-kun, I think we should hold hands, there are a lot of people here.”

Line Makoto: “Indeed there are. I would not mind that, Sakito-san.”

Line Kaoru: “Are you sure it’s okay?”

Line Makoto: “Yes, I do not mind.”

Akimoto then took a few steps to close the distance between us and clasped my hand.

Zdfk.jbgr,. Mzdbf.kjbfvgjdvbmc… 

Uh I meant, her hand was such a soft contrast to my rougher one. Even though she was the one gripping my hand, I could feel that it was smaller…. Or something like that.

Line Kaoru: “Alright, let’s continue shopping.”

Line Makoto: “Yes.”

“Alright! Cut!” Akimoto made an “X” with her arms. “Do you see it now?”

“See what? A cute scene between the two main characters?”

Akimoto rolled up the draft-sheets and whacked me on the head. Ow! This girl really has some nerve!

“No! The dialogue! Who talks like that!? Not even anime or light novel characters do! It— it’s like an AI trying to write a light novel.”

I mean… I guess I kinda see how it might be a little formal… or something.”

“A little formal?”

“Fine… I see what you mean… So what’s your point?”

“My point is, if you get better at dialogue your story might be getting somewhere. Of course there are other areas of improvement, but we'll get to that later.”

“I guess… you would know.”

“All you gotta do is imagine you’re talking with someone else, and write that down. At least that’s the kind of dialogue I like. At the end of the day it’s all preference. There are countless ways you can style your dialogue, it’s all about finding your own groove.”

“What kind of dialogue do you write, Akimoto-san?”

“Oh. None.”

I take a long blink and shake my head. What? “What?”

“I haven’t tried writing before. I just read.”

“T-then how do you know what makes good dialogue! How am I supposed to trust you!?”

“Kiyotaka-kun, Kiyotaka-kun, you’re missing the point of the dialogue. It’s meant to be a conversation. It’s how humans write about people talking to each other—therefore you write it like it’s people talking to each other.”

She took a pause. I don’t know if it was for dramatic effect, or if she had to take a breath. At least if it was for the effect, it was kinda cool.

“For me, I’d write dialogue based off how I used to talk with Katsuki. That way it’d be easy to mimic the way people in love talk—”

Akimoto suddenly froze.

Oh no… I think the realization just hit her.