A Time less Told

My breaths were uneven, each one a struggle against the tightness in my chest. I could feel my heartbeat pounding erratically, an unsteady rhythm that echoed in my ears. My hands trembled uncontrollably, as if they were reacting to some cold I couldn't shake off. But it wasn't the chill in the air that caused it—no, it was something much deeper.

My thoughts were a chaotic mess, colliding and splitting apart like shattered glass. Her face, her voice... they replayed in my mind, dragging me back to a place I'd spent so long trying to escape. And now, with every tremor in my body, I knew one thing for certain: I wasn't ready for this. Not again.

Nonetheless, I took a step forward, my arm instinctively stretching out to stop the girls from moving any closer. This isn’t their burden to bear; it’s mine. They shouldn't be dragged into this mess, especially not because of my past. This is my problem, and I have to handle it on my own.

"Kimiko..." I muttered. "Why are you doing this?"

"Hm? What do you mean?" she asked, but I knew she was just putting up a front. "I'm on vacation. Osaka is so nice during the wintertime, don't you think? It's chillier, but it's so much more festive than—"

"Quit the bullshit."

I didn't to be as rude as I was. If anything, it captured the true essence of my current self, as if my unstable emotions slipped out for a second.

"Ho~?" Kimiko smiled. "Why so aggressive, Noa?"

"You know exactly why. You saw me, and you thought you recognized me. So... Why did you even bother to call out my name?"

"Isn't it obvious? I was curious to how you were doing. Seems like you've got a nice batch of new friends. I wonder... Do they know as much about you as I do?"

My lips sealed tight. They always did ask for me to tell them everything about myself, but I never could. I kept telling myself that it was my issue to deal with, and I stand by that. There's no reason for this to go on any longer.

"Well, I'm fine," I said. "Now that you have your answer, just go."

I spun around, fully intent on putting distance between us, desperate to be free of her presence. Of course, I should've known better. With Kimiko, it’s never that simple. She’s the kind of person who never lets me have the last word.

"Seems you really haven't changed, Noa," she scoffed. "Even after all these years, you reminded me of the exact reasons why I left you."

"...Left... me?" I muttered breathily. "You didn't just leave me, Kimiko. A simple breakup would've been fine, but you cheated on me with a smile on your face. Do you know how betrayed I felt?"

"Betray. Me? You're saying that I betrayed you? Are you being fucking serious right now? I tried to help you, and you're blaming me?!"

My mind went blank. Suddenly, all our moments in the past began to replay themselves in my head, refusing to remain buried.

"Aren't you the one who stopped caring about the relationship?" she asked. "Aren't you the one who started giving me one-word responses? Aren't you the one who stopped giving me a shit about me after your parents going haywire?"

"...Kimiko... Just stop."

She then crossed her arms with a taunting smirk. "Why should I? They were the root cause of all this, no? Ever since it happened, you became even more of a deadbeat than you already were. You felt betrayed when I cheated on you? I'm surprised you felt anything at all, because you were never good at showing me that. What's change, huh?"

"I..."

"Oho~ and suddenly, you have nothing else to say, because you already know, don't you? I spent all that time trying to help you, to heal you, only for me to realize that it was all your fault. Your dad left, and can you really blame him? His son was a complete failure who couldn't even show something as simple as love, not even to his own girlfriend."

Stop... Please, stop talking. Don't bring all of this up again. But she didn't. Her words sliced through me, each one leaving a deeper wound than the last.

"Your mom broke down and blamed it all on you, because how could she not? You couldn't do enough for her, to calm her down and care for her. When you told me about it, all I could think about was that if it were my mom, then I would've done all I could. But no. You allowed her to rot, and not only that, you sent her to a mental hospital and took her daughter away."

I'm begging you... But it continued. Her accusations piled up, each one like a stone dropped into the pit of my stomach, growing heavier with every word.

"You wanna know why I cheated on you? Because I knew that if I simply broke up with you, you wouldn't have thought anything of it. You wouldn't even have cried, because you just physically can't. You're so~ incapable of reciprocating any kind of human emotion, and I got fed up with it. That's why I cheated. I couldn't stand the thought of someone like you acting so apathetic towards me. So? How about now? Are you finally able to feel something? Hm, Noa?"

And there, I finally felt it. Tears... all over my face. It stung from the cold air, yet I didn't bother wiping them. Even if I wanted to, I couldn't. My arms... just wouldn't move.

My mind went numb, the world around me blurring into a haze of despair and confusion. Every word she spoke tore at the fragile threads holding me together, unraveling everything I thought I was, everything I thought I could be. There was nothing left to say, no fight left in me. Just the deafening silence of my own inadequacy.

I could feel it happening—my thoughts, once clear and coherent, now twisted and distorted beyond recognition. The guilt, the shame, the overwhelming sense of worthlessness that I tried so hard to bury came rushing back, like a wave crashing over me, drowning me in its cold, suffocating grip.

Words that I once repeated to myself over and over again now swirled in my head like a restless storm.

'It wasn't my fault.'

It's true, isn't it? How could I have known that all of this would happen? That dad would leave, and mom would break down? That all I needed to do was show my emotions to Kimiko? How could that have been my fault?

No... I should've known. That's the problem. I could've done more to stop it from happening. I could've put in more effort, and maybe, just maybe... I could've changed it all. The truth I’d desperately tried to deny now felt like an inescapable reality. No matter how hard I tried to push it away, it clung to me, suffocating me with its certainty.

And so, those same words swirled once again, twisting and reshaping, as if to tell me the exact opposite of what I'd been telling myself.

'It was... my fault.'

Suddenly, an ear-splitting crack echoed through the air. I looked up, and the sight before me sent a shiver down my spine.

Yoshino stood beside me, her left arm extended, her hand still in the motion of striking. Kimiko stumbled back, her eyes wide and her mouth gaping, a stark red mark now visible on her cheek.

"You..." Kimiko spluttered. "Did you just... slap me? Who the hell do you think you are?!"

Yoshino didn’t respond. Instead, she lifted her hand to her face. Slowly, she pulled down her sunglasses, revealing a pair of gleaming red eyes.

"W-what... You’re..." Kimiko stuttered.

"Go on," Yoshino said, her voice cold and unnerving. "Scream for help. Care to see who'll come out on top? Here’s a hint—it won’t be you."

Kimiko hesitated, her bravado faltering, before she turned and fled. The confrontation was over, but the echoes of Kimiko's words lingered in my head, haunting me.

"Yozora..." Natsume mumbled. "Are you... okay?"

I wanted to reply, but I couldn't. They look worried. This is exactly why I didn't wanna tell them about me, because I knew it would spark a reaction like this.

"Let's call it a day," Mitsuki said. "We'll head back and—"

"No."

They all turned to look at me. As much as I'm hurt right now... I don't want it to affect them, so I lifted my head and forced the steadiest smile I could.

"You guys go ahead. I... I need to be alone for a while."

"Yozora..." Suguha simpered.

"Don't follow me. Just... don't."

Without turning back even once, I walked away.