The Human Saint is Bored, so I was Summoned to Another World Vol. 1
***Somewhere in the Servants’ Quarters***
A lone figure of a girl was running down the dark hallways of the Servants’ Quarters. She would occasionally trip but would quickly regain her balance, since she had to keep on running. There’s no room for mistakes. The little light burning on the tip of her finger didn’t help against the darkness cast by heavy curtains covering the windows.
The girl reached for the door that led to safety, but much to her horror, it’s locked. No matter how she turned it, the knob just won’t budge. Seeing that it’s hopeless, the girl gave up and continued on her flight.
“She’s over here!”
“Don’t let her escape!”
“We already blocked the stairs to other levels!”
The girl could hear her pursuers drawing near. She tried to lose them by running around, but by then, she could feel her legs were about to give way.
She has to find a place where she can rest and hide.
Without delay, the girl kept on trying to open every door she could lay her hands on. But somehow, all were locked…save for a lone room at the far end of the corridor. The moment she realized it was open, the girl threw herself inside and hid in the darkness, hoping for her ordeal to end.
“Come over here!”
“I saw her go in this direction!”
“Find her quick!”
The mere voices of those who were pursuing her gave the girl the fright of her life. She could feel her body go stiff and tried her best to hold her breath. The girl had properly locked the door, even so, hearing them near her position made her heart stop for a few moments.
In the end, however, the voices slowly grew weak until she couldn’t hear them anymore. The girl could breathe normally…The danger has already passed.
The room suddenly lit up. And much to the girl’s horror, several of her pursuers were inside the room, barring the only way out. They also had their wands drawn and pointed at her.
“Well, hello Eris!” the leader of the group greeted her with the gentlest smile, “I see you failed in your escape attempt for another time. We’re all waiting for you in here this entire time…”
“…” the girl, Eris, remained unmoved. Though she tried to maintain an indifferent face, her wobbling legs revealed the otherwise.
“Scared are you, Eris?” the leader mocked, “Well, if you said nothing to the Head Maid then we would leave you alone, I suppose.”
“Y-you’re l-lying!” Eris snapped, “E-Eris didn’t tell t-the H-head Maid a-about it!”
“Then if it’s not you, who is it?”
Eris fell silent. She knew who caused everything that’s happening to her right now; it’s that strange boy named Kuro. He informed the Head Maid about the conditions they forced her to work with, and Lady Lilyhaven took action.
“Who is it?” one of her pursuers grabbed the collar of her sleeping dress.
“I-it’s…E-Eris…” Eris’ voice was shaking, and they threw her down the floor. There’s no way that she would tell them about Kuro. She knew these people, and she couldn’t take that a sincere person like him would get hurt just because he tried to help her.
Eris will die rather than let them harm him!
“I hate liars, you know.” the leader grinned, “And because you lied, we’ll have no other choice but to punish you. Are you ready, Eris?”
Eris could only look in horror as her enemies walked nearer and nearer where she fell…
Honestly, that ‘interrogation’ at the Marquise of Monfort only annoyed me. I mean, they disturbed me in the middle of my sleep, went with that horrible ‘interrogation’ scene, only to be told that I should have cooked Amaranthine dishes instead of my native food.
Seriously, this world is exhausting me with their freaky antics.
Well, the Marquise of Monfort apologized for her ruckus after that. So, I just let it go; it wouldn’t have done me any good if I continued to be angry with them. Besides, I’m an adult, anyway. I should be mature in dealing with idiots around me.
But hey, why was the Marquise of Monfort so adamant about that girl, Eris?
Oh well, it’s not like I want to have something to do with them. It’s their problem, not mine; I have my struggles too.
And, as usual, there’s nothing else to do, save for killing a lot of time. Man, I wished I could do something about my current situation; but as long as the season wouldn’t change, I won’t get paid or anything.
Ah yes, now that I remembered it, they pay wages in Chersea every start of the new season. I didn’t exactly know what were the standard salary rates in this world, but according to Lily, the servants working inside the Holy Palatial Gardens were paid a ‘maximum of 1 gold coin, and a minimum of 50 silver coins. That also the standard for both the guards and maids. The nuns who attended to the visitors of the Saint’s Cathedral were considered as ‘volunteer work’, so of course, they won’t get paid.
For me, whom they classified as between a ‘part-timer’ and a ‘guest’, the Saint had allotted 20 silver coins at every start of the season. She wanted to give me a starting budget of ‘50 gold coins’ right away—which made the Head Maid of the Treasury Department immediately object, but I refused to accept it out of ethical considerations.
I told Her Holiness that I like to earn my keep properly.
So yeah, that’s the reason every time I woke up from my ‘long sleep’ (I guess it’s the Chersean term for the sleep that you do during nighttime back on Earth), I go around the entire Holy Palatial Gardens looking for odd jobs. Before, when I was newly summoned here, the maids were more than happy to pass to me their duties. But I guess Lily caught wind of it and they got lectured. So, I’m left with no meaningful thing to do.
Save for reading in the Saint’s Library, or helping Eris around…
Oh, speaking of Eris, I wonder what she’s doing right now? Did Lily fix her work issues?
I guess I had to check her out? The problem is, I didn’t know where I could find her. I mean, she’s a member of the Grooming Department after all; their duties require them to be always near Her Holiness.
So, she may be inside the Holy Chambers palace right now. A place I can’t enter easily…
Oh well, it’s not that I’m worried or anything. The servants here were members of the royalty and nobility; for short, entitled people. I think they could take care of themselves…
Well, speaking of the devil…
“M-mister K-Kuro!” it was Eris who immediately greeted me. She bumped into me just as I was about to return to my room halfway towards the Holy Chambers palace.
“Oh, hello Eris! So, how’s your actual work? Pretty easy?”
“Ah yes! Thank you for helping Eris, Mister Kuro.”
“Yep, you’re always welcome!” I patted her head gently; heck, it’s almost as if I have a little sister with Eris!
“Ow!” Eris suddenly winced in pain and backed off a little from me.
“Huh? Are you okay?” Of course, I’m surprised by her reaction. And uh, now that I took a good look at her, her slender arms had faint black, blue, and violet patches.
Those are bruises!
“Oi! Where did you get those?”
Eris was silent.
I checked her body. Gently, I felt her head and figured out a bump on the part where I patted her earlier. She had her bangs covering a part of her face, which was not usual for her, so I looked at it. Her right eye had a black bruise.
W-what the fuck?
“How did you get those?” increasingly agitated, I asked, “Is someone hurting you?”
Eris fiercely shook her head, “E-Eris is s-sorry, M-mister Kuro! S-she has to go.”
“Wait, at least let me treat those!” I tried to stop her, but she pushed me away, “You can’t work right in that condition, you know?”
“E-Eris just fell off her b-bed.” Eris forced a smile, “T-there’s n-nothing to worry about!”
With a quick bow, the young maid scurried off.
That couldn’t be right.
The image of Eris’ bruises burned in my mind. Those were kinds of injuries that didn’t come by simply falling off the bed…unless she repeatedly did that. Plus, that bruise on her eye…did the bed also punch her when she fell off it?
Of course not!
Damn, now that I thought about it: Eris’ overwhelming work duties, that time she fainted because of hunger, those bruises, and that strange maid I encountered before I got sick. I guess they’re all connected! Someone’s bullying her. But what for?
At that moment, the image of that bitch, Jessica, floated in my mind. That hag must’ve known something about this!
God, I need to put a stop to this shitty situation.
“Whoa!” I almost jumped when Her Holiness appeared sitting on my bed.
“Well, sorry for startling you.” Her Holiness displayed her usual smug face, “I heard you calling for me, so I came here.”
I remember calling for God, though.
“I told you, I’m sort of divinity.” Her Holiness laughed, “At least in this world, that is.”
“Ah anyway, Your Holiness—”
“Yep, I already know Kuro. I’ve seen it in your mind.” the Saint had a grim face, “And I don’t like it either. I need to tell Lily about this tragedy; I’ll take responsibility for that poor girl, Eris.”
“No wait, Your Holiness!” I quickly grabbed her hand as she was about to teleport, “We need to know the reason behind the actions of those people who harmed Eris, as well as to round up all those who were guilty.”
“Well, I can simply read their minds and be done with it.” Her Holiness quipped.
“Oh…of course, you can do that course of action, Your Holiness. But I have something in mind.”
“Hm? Let’s hear it then.” the Saint sat back on the bed.
“I wanted to be honest with you, Your Holiness. After seeing Eris like that, I could only feel anger and disgust toward those who harmed her. And by now, I know you can see what I’m thinking.”
Her Holiness fell quiet as she understood the things I’m planning, and then, an evil smirk appeared on her lips. She stared at me with bright eyes and said…
“You’re one nasty person, Kuro. You have my interest now. Proceed with your plans then.”
Man, sometimes I wonder if Her Holiness is indeed a Saint or not.
All of my suspicions about the people who harmed Eris pointed first to the Kitchen Department’s Jessica. It’s not that I’m accusing Jessica as the one responsible for all of this, but questioning her would be the start of looking for the guilty party.
“What? You’re accusing me of something that I won’t even do?” Jessica raised her voice; she’s offended by me confronting her about Eris.
“I’m just asking, you know. Those bruises won’t show up unless someone will intentionally hit her.”
“Is it my problem, then? Now, if you’ll just excuse me, I’ve got more pressing matters to attend to.”
“Mister Kuro!” Eris then appeared at the kitchen door; her labored breaths revealed she rushed here. Perhaps someone told her about me confronting Jessica.
“You came at the right time, Eris!” I greeted her, “Now be a good girl and identify the ones who hurt you.”
“B-but Eris fell—”
“I won’t hear that excuse!” I raised my voice a little, “Don’t underestimate us, adults! We know what we see.”
Eris fell silent. My tone and attitude horrified her.
“Ha! She can’t even properly refer to herself!” Jessica mocked the little maid, “Are you serious about asking that s-s-s-stammer g-g-girl?”
“Shut up.” I shot a glare at the kitchen maid, “Insult my friend one more time, and I won’t be able to hold myself back.”
The entire kitchen was silent; barely anyone dared to move as I and Jessica entered a staring contest. I was ready to fight back then; my fists were raring to go. I think it’s the first time they saw me that mad.
Jessica was taken aback, but she maintained her bluff, “W-what are you going to do then, wuss?”
“Oh, nothing.” I showed her my hand, “I just want to hold you tight, Miss Jessica, that’s all!”
The sarcasm on the kitchen maid’s face vanished. She quickly drew her wand and pointed it at me, “Stay back, pervert! Or I’ll burn you to dust.”
“I won’t do that if I were you.” I countered while slowly stepping towards her, “Back in my land, we don’t play with fire inside the kitchen, or we might ignite something flammable. Coincidentally, this place is mostly made of wood, don’t you think we all might end up getting charred if you burn me, Miss Jessica?”
“What do you want from me, asshole?” Jessica withdrew her wand; well, at least she’s reasonable.
“Simple. Just tell me who did it and why Eris got her injuries.”
“I don’t know about it. Don’t you think you’re meddling with our affairs too much?”
“So, you admit that I’m meddling with something I shouldn’t have, like bullying a kid like Eris?”
“Guh! What makes you say that?”
“Well, for one, I noticed how you’re rude towards her. For example, leaving her with no food for quite some time that she fainted, or how about when you mocked her stammering?”
“Those are your evidence?”
“There’s a second one, don’t worry. You’re the head of this kitchen. Of course, your subordinates won’t have the confidence to do something horrendous without your tacit support or direct encouragement.”
It’s now Jessica’s turn to be silent; her lips were moving, but there was no voice coming out of them. She was also averting from my gaze as she stepped back from me.
Eris finally spoke up, “I-it’s all b-because of M-mister Kuro…”
Ha? Me? What did I do this time?
“W-when M-mister K-Kuro saved the Head M-maid and c-caught the thief.”
Oh…those incidents have something to do with this?
“E-Eris t-thought that M-mister Kuro i-is a d-d-different person, s-so she tried to c-convince her f-friends a-about it. B-because of that, E-Eris was b-bullied.”
Damn…this little girl got harmed because she trusted me. I wanted to cry right now…Cry out of my intense desire to hit this bitch, Jessica, on the face.
“Bwahahahahahaha!” Jessica gave out a loud, almost maniacal—and annoying—laugh, “So you say that, Eris! But who would believe you? This pervert? Look around you, if you will!”
Well, the bitch’s confidence was on her backup group of maids who surrounded us and had their wands drawn, ready to attack anytime. However, Eris also drew out her wand, and she put herself between me and Jessica.
“P-please don’t l-leave Eris’ side, M-mister K-Kuro!”
For god’s sake, this kid is trying to protect me!
“What if I say here that this pervert tried to get me pregnant?” Jessica wondered aloud.
God, I had enough dealing with idiots, “I told you before that science has proven that touching skins with the opposite gender won’t make you preg—”
This was stupid, but I kept quiet. I shouldn’t say anything anymore…
“I don’t care about your ‘sayans’ or whatever crap you’re spouting from your trash world!” the bitch kept on muttering, “All I care is what Her Holiness would say once I plead to her to expel you!”
“Well, if it comes to that point, I’d say you’re guilty one, Princess Jessica Mae von Albert.”
Heh, just in fucking time. You love grand entrances, don’t you, Your Holiness?
“If I may say, I love going along with your plans, Kuro.” Her Holiness the Saint of Chersea winked at me, “My boredom dissipates quickly because of that.”
I think Jessica’s soul has already left her mortal body? She’s all white and stiff.
Well, I guess everything went out as I planned.
Hey, I mean, look. I knew it sounds bad, but I wanted to exact a terrible vengeance on the bitch, Jessica, and those maids who hurt the poor, little Eris. So instead of just letting Her Holiness do the job quickly with her mind-reading ability, I asked her to join in my plan to embarrass them.
And you know the story.
Heh, after all, there could be no great and satisfying scene other than to let your enemy think she’s winning and then crushing all her confidence in one careless mistake she committed. Then laugh your way out as she desperately tried to cover her blunders but was digging her grave ever more so deeply.
Ah, the beauty of vengeance…
What, don’t stare at me like that, Your Holiness! It’s a basic human emotion!
“You know, you may be sincere and all, but I think I don’t want to anger you.” Her Holiness remarked as her eyes narrowed.
So anyway, by reading Jessica’s mind, we caught those who hurt Eris. The bitch herself was not directly involved in that incident, but she—along with the Head Maids of the Grooming and Housekeeping departments—planned to bully Eris for trying to convince the other maids that I’m harmless.
And so, Her Holiness and Lily reached a decision.
“Well, because of these tragic events, Her Holiness the Saint won’t tolerate this kind of behavior from you!” Lily admonished her erring subordinates, “From this moment forward, you are declared dismissed from the Holy Service.”
Jessica and her companions remained indifferent until hearing that verdict. Eris and I watched on the podium with Her Holiness as Lily began cutting their aprons off.
I guess those are the symbols of ‘Holy Service’, eh?
The implicated maids, both senior and junior, cried. Some were even wailing out loud, especially those who had their aprons cut off already. Even the bitch, Jessica, was now tearful.
Honestly, watching them is making me waver. They looked so pitiful.
“Well, if you’re wondering what will happen to them Kuro…” I heard Her Holiness explain, “…dismissal from the Holy Service is almost equal to excommunication for a noble or royalty. It’s a great and utter disgrace.”
Wow…that sounds heavy…
I looked at Eris. I couldn’t exactly tell her expression while watching the scene unfolded, but she it might be safe to say that she’s pitying those maids that had hurt her before. After all, they were her former comrades.
Ah, shit. I hate this kind of scene.
“Eris.” I whispered to her, “They hurt you terribly but, what do you say?”
“M-M-Mister Kuro…” she reached out for my hand and held it tight.
Yeah, Eris, I know.
Man, I don’t care already!
“What is it Kuro?”
“Well, I know you can read my mind.”
“I decided not to.” Her Holiness had a nasty smirk, “I wanted to hear what you wanted to say.”
“Can we reinstate those guys? Eris is being affected emotionally…”
“Okay, and so do I.” the Saint seemed to be ‘steering’ me into a decision she wanted.
“Ah come on! Do I have to explain it?” again, I’m being pulled around by Her Holiness, “Look, your maids over there committed these stupid acts all because they are loyal to you. I mean, it all started because of me, whom they think is a rabid pervert. They wanted to protect you from me, so they planned on ejecting me, which didn’t succeed. And when Eris began thinking the otherwise about me, they thought I might seduce her to get closer to you.”
“Ohoh…” Her Holiness smiled and nodded.
“So yeah, they resorted to these stupid dramas to drive Eris out.”
“Okay, so I get it you don’t want them dismissed?”
“Well, isn’t that what you—”
“Yes, it’s what I want to say, alright.” Her Holiness was pushing the responsibility of this decision to me, huh? Pretty typical of her.
“Alright then.” the Saint clapped her hands, “Lily, stop with cutting those aprons. Reissue new ones to those who were already cut. Your man doesn’t want any dismissals to happen at this moment.” So she said, but I think it also relieved Her Holiness that Eris and I backed down and forgave those idiots.
Well, Her Holiness cares for her servants after all, though she may be a conceited brat sometimes.
“Hey, Kuro. That was uncalled for, that last comment about me.”
“Ah, Mister Kuro!” it was the bitch, Jessica, “Thank you for forgiving us.” she bowed. Well, she also changed her manner of speech to me just now, so I guess it’s pretty fine.
“Don’t just thank me; Eris also has a part in that decision.”
Jessica then turned to the little maid and held her hand. She also apologized to her, eventually thanking her for forgiveness. Then, after that, I offered Jessica a handshake.
“Uh, I really may get pregnant, Mister Kuro.”
“As I told you before, touching skins with the opposite gender won’t make you pregnant.”
“Kuro’s right, Jessica.” Her Holiness chirped in, “It’s pretty harmless; it’s just a handshake, you know.”
“Oh, o-okay…” Jessica reached out, and we shook hands.
“You can get pregnant by kissing, by the way.” Her Holiness added.
I’m dumbfounded. Seriously, Your Holiness?
Why was everyone around me kept on believing those stupid old wives’ tales? I guess I had to find a way on how to tell these girls how pregnancy worked…of course without sounding perverted and all.
Haaa…and so ended the part of my story where the ‘Isekai’ theme turned into a lousy ‘detective high school’ fiction. Well, I didn’t understand how’d that happen, so don’t ask me. And by the way…
This world is really stupid!