This Plan has Gone Off the Rails

Alright, it’s time to initiate the plan!

I was headed towards the school’s main entrance to meet Akimoto. As I walked, a possible issue in my plan arose. Should I tell Akimoto the before hand?

…

No, I don’t think so. I’ll look so much cooler if it seems like this plan is off the top of my head.

Not that I’m trying to impress her because she’s a girl. As if that would matter. As a proud member of otaku and light novel society, my work and pride comes before anything like 3D girls.

I want to look good because it’ll show Akimoto she’ll be writing with someone reliable.

Yeah… that’s me… Mr. Reliable.

“Oh Kiyotaka-kun, you’re such a genius and you’re incredible at story-telling!”

“Is that supposed to be my voice?”

“H-huh!? W-what!? No!”

I didn’t know she could make her voice sound so sharp and accusatory… It’s kinda scary.

“So you’re just praising yourself in a girl's voice?”

“...Yes.”

She shut her eyes and shook her head. This is better than telling the truth.

“So, did you concoct a plan?”

“Concoct? What’re you, an evil scientist?”

“Do you know what you’re doing or not?”

“I do, I do, no need to worry. All you need to do is get some overnight stuff from your house and you’re good.”

The bus ride and subsequent walk took about thirty minutes. Her house was closer to the outskirts of Kagoshima than downtown.

That makes me wonder why she chose Kajiyacho as her high school… It’s not important however.

Her house was further out meaning the lots were more spacious. The streets we walked down were fairly wide and the houses had backyards and some had front lawns. Am I in too deep? Are these the richest people in Japan?

We took a right and the houses lining the streets grew taller. Now each of them were two stories—very western in style.

Such opulence.

“Here we are.”

Akimoto stopped in front of a boxy two story house. No front lawn, sigh, but it seemed to have a nice backyard.

We stepped in the front door. The ceiling over the entrance was two stories and there was a balcony-like look-out thing at the top of the stairs. I never learned a word for it because I never thought I’d see one!

“I’m home—!” She turned to me. “I’ll be right back. Just wait here.” She slipped off her shoes and disappeared upstairs.

“I don’t like this but alright…”

I am in too deep…

Above me was a chandelier—bright crystal light. Are those real crystals? Probably? Maybe?

…

“Arf!”

What?

“Arf! Bark bark bark!”

Oh no…

Painted across the wall ahead of me was a massive shadow—that of a four legged beast. Sharp teeth, claws, a growl like the devil.

“Bow-wow!”

Around the corner came… Akimoto’s corgi.

It trotted up to me—well, more like waddled, and jumped at my leg. I crouched down and let it sniff my hand before scratching its ear.

“Hello inu-san.”

The corgi flopped onto its back.

“Oooh~ Who’s a good boy. It’s you. It’s you inu-san… It’s y—”

“Kiyotaka-kun?”

“Ah— ahem. That was uh. Yeah.”

“Stop messing around, I need help bringing this bag down.”

“Huh? How much stuff do you—”

At the top of the staircase sat an extra-large suitcase stuffed—no—overflowing with stuff. What is she thinking!?

“Akimoto-san, it’s only one weekend, plus my house does have living necessities you know.”

“Well I didn't know that! All you told me about your “plan” was to bring overnight stuff. So I prepared for every fathomable situation.”

“Is that a Carnival bird-dancer costume!? What could you need that for!?”

“Every. Fathomable. Situation.”

“Okay calm down.” I ascended the stairs. “Just put like, all of this back, then we can go.”

“No! I went through all the trouble packing, I’m gonna bring it.” She gripped tightly onto the suitcase’s handle.

“Akimoto-san.” I tried to get her hand off. “You don’t need it.”

“I don’t care. I want it!”

She pushed me away, starting a verbal and physical back-and-forth.

“No! You don’t!”

“I do!”

“You don—”

As I tugged it back again I slipped on some feathers from the bird-dancer costume. I took a step backwards and was teetering precariously on the top stair. One slip, one accidental shift of weight away from disaster.

What was saving me?

I had gripped onto Akimoto’s… long gold chain she had packed. What could you possibly need this for!? Are you gonna cosplay a rapper!? Is this solid gold as well!? It’s so heavy!

We were perfectly balanced. If either of us made a misstep we’d both tumble down the stairs along with the suitcase.

“Akimoto-san… use all your strength and pull me back up. Please.”

“I— I can’t.” She was struggling to get her words out. “I’m already using it all to hold you up.”

“Akimoto-san… I’m sorry. It was great while I knew you.”

“Kiyotaka-kun! You can’t! I won’t let you! You… you promised me.”

“I’m sorry.”

If there was one thing I’ve always wanted to do in my life, it was to heroically save a girl. Just, it could’ve been in a cooler situation.

My hand unclasped the chain and time seemed to slow. Was my life flashing before my eyes? Is this what death is like?

“Ah—”

As I was mid decent I witnessed something comically stupid. Akimoto slipped on the same feathers. It was insane how she practically flew off the stairs.

…

I slowly opened my eyes… I— I’m alive?

“Akimoto-san, are you alright?”

“Yeah… I’m fine.”

“Will you admit you didn’t need that stuff now?”

“F-fine… Maybe I didn’t.”

The two of us stood up and brushed ourselves off. You know, that could’ve ended in a very light novel-esque way. I’m glad we avoided that cliche.

“Kaoru!? What was that!?” An adult woman’s voice called out.

“Oh no. Kiyotaka-kun, it’s my mom. Uh, uh, quick! Hide in my suitcase!”

“Don’t fear my dear Akimoto-san. I came prepared.” I pushed up my glasses.

A woman dressed in a deep-blue pencil skirt and blazer stood a few meters away from us. She looked to be in her mid forties? Didn’t matter though, she looked good— Hold on! That’s Akimoto’s mom!

She looked respectable, that’s what I meant to say.

“Kaoru, what’re you doing? And what’s up with that Brazilian dancer costume?”

“Oh! Mom! I was just uh—”

“She was packing for an overnight writing boot camp at school.” I interrupted. Yes! Here comes step three! Nothing can catch me off guard!

“Hm? I didn’t know about this.” Her mom folded her arms under her chest.

“S-she only recently joined the writing club, so she hasn’t known for long either… It’s nice to meet you Mrs. Akimoto. I’m the club’s president, Kiyotaka Makoto.”

“Wow— So you’re going to ditch our family gathering to go spend time with another boy, Kaoru?”

“Ah, mom, he’s uh, not just another boy… Makoto is actually my boyfriend. And you know how awkward it’ll be for me at the cookout!”

Where is this coming from!? I had this all planned out but these two women have completely ignored my sound logic! They didn’t even see through it! I was ignored! I didn’t plan for any of that at all!

Akimoto! You just made this so much harder for me! I’m trying to avoid light novel situations!

“Kiyotaka, was it? Is this true? Is there actually an overnight school event? And are you actually her boyfriend?”

I— I can’t lie now. Then she won’t believe the writing thing either!

“Yes. I’m… Kaoru’s… boyfriend.”

“I don’t believe you.”

Her response was too quick! That was preloaded!

“B-but we are… a couple.”

“Mom, he gets nervous easily. Please don’t press him.”

“Kaoru, you always tell little lies to get out of stuff you don’t want to do. How do I know you’re telling the truth?”

Akimoto’s face flushed red. She probably didn’t want me knowing that about her.

“B-because I’ve moved on from K-Katsuki already. I really like Makoto…”

“Is that so? Prove it.”

Light novel bullshit!