The Human Saint is Bored, so I was Summoned to Another World Vol. 2
For the rest of our journey, it was peaceful.
Fen was a town to the northwest of Kamran, which was a city at the southern border of the kingdom of Nerfes. It was the capital of the Rubinforth fief, which was under the authority of the family of Her Holiness. From the Holy Palatial Gardens, we rode for one ‘long sleep’ west to a dense forest where we got ambushed. Exhausted from the incident, and to give time for our guards to call for additional troops back at the palatial gardens, we rested for another full ‘long sleep’ on a spot not too far from the battle site.
After taking that unplanned break, we then turned north at a river junction to reach a certain mountain pass. We covered that part of the journey for another yet one ‘long sleep’.
Next, for a series of three ‘long sleeps’, we traversed the mountain pass to get to the city of Kamran. And then, after a final one ‘long sleep’, we’re finally able to see the borders that marked the entrance to the land of the Rubinforths.
Our journey took seven ‘long sleeps’—or days, in Earth’s time reckoning.
And by this time, I guess Her Fluffy Holiness had enough.
“For some odd reason, you’re a creature of speed and agility, yet you’re sick of motion.” Her Holiness remarked the moment Her Fluffy Holiness vomited on the roadside. Of course, we had to stop the convoy to let her relieve herself.
“Oh yeah? I may be prone to motion sickness, but at least, my figure is still as seductive as ever…unlike some fat saint that I know…” the Beastman Saint countered.
“Why…w-well, it’s fine. I know that my fatness can be remedied anytime. However, once a rejected fan, one will always be a rejected fan…”
“R-rejected? Aren’t you one too, by someone you love as well?”
I could see sparks flying around those two holy women, and I couldn’t help but feel nervous. Shouldn’t they be separated by now? I mean, those words they were throwing around sure had deeper meanings to them…
“Uh…are they okay, Lily? Should I stop them?”
“Don’t worry, it’s normal when those two are together. They may sound like they’re fighting, but actually, they’re the best of friends…” Lily explained while she kept on cooking our lunch, “So best that I’m getting the feeling I’m getting left out…hahahahaha…”
She was sharpening the knife that she was holding, with a terrifying look on her face and the most amicable of laughs, even the bravest paladins among us slowly walked away.
I’m surrounded by crazy women…
Honestly, except for that bandit incident, it’s a good thing we’re traveling in an inconspicuous carriage. Lily had planned this earlier; she might’ve thought that the Saint’s vacation would be severely hampered by an adoring crowd if we traveled on Her Holiness’ official carriage. The guards shed their flashy armor, and the maids wore their usual ‘commoner’ clothing. Heck, if someone were to see us, they’d think we’re just part of an entourage of an aristocrat traveling to Nerfes.
Anyway, I guess the only ‘officially formal’ time that we had was when we were met by a delegate of King Rambo and Sir Simon near the border and silently welcomed us to their kingdom.
I guess this is the work of those letters that Lily sent ahead of us…
Ah, anyway, we ate our lunch by the roadside. The Marquise of Monfort and her corps were with us throughout the entire journey after the bandit incident, never going as far as ten paces from the Saint’s carriage. She only broke off from our convoy when we reached the outskirts of the Rubinforth fief. The Captain of the Paladin Corps was seeking an appointment with King Rambo in connection to what happened earlier in our travel.
Meanwhile, our coach driver had estimated that it would only be a half-sleep’s distance from where we were right now, up to the actual town proper of Fen. Although still eye-catching, our group was eventually passed on by traveling peasants and some ‘important-looking’ people.
Secrecy has its benefits. By the looks of it, I can tell we’ll finally arrive at our destination safe and unmolested.
However, when the maids who were with us began packing our belongings to resume our last leg of the journey, I saw Dame Sasha Atkins coming back together with other women from their patrol. They had something urgent to tell the Head Maid.
“Oh, Dame Atkins!” Lily greeted them, concerned at their sudden arrival, “Is there anything up ahead?”
“Yes.” was the Dame’s curt reply, as always.
“What is it?”
“You mean to say that you noticed the sudden increase of travelers on this road to Fen?”
I was listening to them, and honestly, I couldn’t help but be in awe of the Head Maid. To think that she’s able to decipher this girl’s odd way of speech? That’s something. I saw Princess Lily like a ‘superwoman’.
“That’s weird.” furrows appeared on Lily’s forehead, “Did you hear any rumors about our arrival from some roadside villages up ahead?”
“Maybe it’s just coincidence. I mean, Fen is a resort town, anyway. Of course, there’ll be a lot of tourists.” Lily tried to dismiss her concerns, “Alright, thanks for your hard work, Dame Atkins. You may return to your duties.”
Dame Atkins curtsied and went back to her patrol with her soldiers.
Then I heard Lily murmured, “This isn’t good.”
“What is ‘not good’, Lily?” I asked.
“Well, it’s the very reason I sent ahead letters to the leaders of the towns we’re passing through in this journey. I asked them to keep the secret of Her Holiness’ arrival. Otherwise, if even a rumor leaked out, I’m sure there would be a great ruckus and Maddie’s vacation would be ruined by her devotees. And if Dame Atkins says that there’s an unusual increase in incoming traffic to Fen, it could only mean that they somehow knew that someone important is coming.”
Then I realized the gravity of the situation, “You’re right. Having her devotees around in this vacation would render Her Holiness’ break virtually useless. Got any ideas on solving this one?”
“I was about to ask you as well, Mister Kuro…”
“Hmm? What seems to be the problem guys?”
“!!!” We almost screamed in surprise when we heard Her Holiness’ voice coming from behind us.
“Oh…so there’s an unusual increase in the numbers of travelers inbound for Fen?” Her Holiness had already read our minds before we could even speak, “The answer is simple; they could’ve known that we’re coming now, Lily.”
Lily and I both fell silent, unable to say anything to the Human Saint.
“Ah, don’t worry about that.” Her Holiness nonchalantly said, “I know the person who did that, and this leak isn’t anyone’s fault.”
“Err…” I broke my silence, “Your Holiness, who is this person who would put you in this situation?”
The Human Saint smiled sardonically, “Oh, you’ll see once we arrive there, Kuro…”
And yes, just like what Her Holiness said, once our convoy appeared in the eyes of the locals of Fen, there was huge jubilation. Children cheered, and the adults joined them as well. Some shouted Her Holiness’ name while waving her symbol—the ankh. Flowers were thrown towards us, and others removed their robes and put those down on our pathway…
Wait, is this the ‘Jerusalem Triumphal Entry’? Anyway, never mind me. The paladin guards of the Saint were trying their best to prevent the people from reaching our carriage; fortunately, the militia of Fen helped as well.
“Ugh…this is a disaster…” Lily shook her head in dismay.
“Ahahahaha! I love it when humans see you, Maddie!” Her Fluffy Holiness was the only one genuinely excited by the crowd, “They look so happy to embrace you so tight your bones would break!”
However, Her Holiness paid no heed to the Beastman Saint’s remark. Instead, she was pissed off, and kept murmuring, “Tch…this is that old geezer’s fault.”
I pretended not to hear that.
It was chaotic, and everyone in our group was stressed-out. Even though we’re almost here at our destination, we couldn’t move on that fast because of the small streets of the town, and we’re even more impeded by the jubilant mob.
Heck, everyone just wanted a rest…who the hell leaked the information about Her Holiness, anyway? Finally, I guess the Beastman Saint had enough. She enjoyed the crowd, but well, she’s quite sensitive when the need for it arises. And, realizing that it had been bothering us, Her Fluffy Holiness took control of the situation.
She opened the door of the carriage and, with surprising agility, climbed to the roof. There she stood proudly as her ears and tails swayed while our coach shook. The crowd was stunned at the sight of the beautiful beastwoman and immediately recognized her as the Beastman Saint.
Everyone suddenly fell quiet. Wasting no time and after chanting a spell, Her Fluffy Holiness then declared, “Those who dare to block our way would incur the wrath of the heavens, lest they desist!”
I thought everyone heard that loud and clear. I did as well; she spoke as if she was just right beside me, even though she’s atop the roof of our carriage. And visibly so, because the unruly mob suddenly became as obedient as a sheep and moved aside to let us pass quietly. Of course, the paladin guards, as well as the Fen militia, were relieved; they almost got overwhelmed.
The Human Saint winked at me, “Ruro’s ability lies at the fact that she can control the wind. As a result, she can cause her voice to be heard everywhere she wished.” She explained, as if she already knew that I was curious about what just happened.
What a convenient skill…
Anyway, I thought our troubles were over by then. The people graciously let us pass and the journey to the Rubinforth estate was nothing else but pleasant from that point onwards. But when we reached the gate of the aristocrat’s manor, everyone heard a loud and long trumpet blast.
Lily stared at Her Holiness, “Isn’t it the horn of your father’s entourage, Maddie?”
“Indeed, it is.” However, the Human Saint remained unmoved, with a stoic face. She looked like she was having a rocky relationship with her father…
“Well, make that ‘not pleased’.” Her Fluffy Holiness spoke as an answer to my thoughts, “It’s more like, Maddie’s going ‘Uhh…Here we go again.’.”
“Hmm? Her Holiness has a feud with her father?” I couldn’t help but ask. I turned to her and was surprised that Her Holiness was already staring at me.
“You’ll get what the Great White Wolf means sooner than you think, Kuro.” Her Holiness told me.
Why do you guys keep on hiding things from me instead of just answering right away? I’m getting annoyed, but well…why do I care? I just got dragged into this vacation thing, anyway!
“Well, if we tell you right away, there would be no suspense in this stupid story, don’t you think?” Her Holiness replied.
Huh? What are you saying?
Lily ordered the carriage to stop at a wide clearing just a few distances away from the manor. The guards who rode before us then moved aside as another coach—an elegant one, appeared, and out from behind its doors, a man was helped down by a butler.
Oh, good lord…here comes the asshole from the Seasonal Mass…
As usual, Her Holiness’ father had a stern but dignified look on his face. He was flanked by two servants as he walked towards us. Several other men were following him; all were wearing flashy armor and carrying bright flags. In contrast, our group could be mistaken for some ragtag band of commoners with two aristocrats leading them.
“I have arrived, father.” Much to my surprise, Her Holiness bowed respectfully before her old man. Well, you couldn’t blame me. Ever since I came here, they gave me the impression that being a Saint was the highest existence available for a mortal. I’m kind of pleased that the people of Chersea still look up to their elders, even though their existence was almost equal to that of gods.
“Welcome to Fen, Your Holiness!” The father welcomed his holy daughter in a dignified, official manner, “I hope you had a pleasant trip.”
“I do. Thank you for your concern.”
Everyone became silent as both the Saint and her father seemed to eye each other for a few moments. And then…
“Big sis, welcome back!”
Two kids with striking silver hair—a young boy and girl, emerged from the other carriage and ran at full speed towards Her Holiness. The Saint smiled and quickly spread her arms as if to welcome them, and both jumped at her for a big embrace—
Or so I thought.
“Geez, what are you doing, old man?” the boy snapped at the Saint’s father. The old guy prevented the kids from getting near their sister by yanking at their clothes. Naturally, with that kind of speed at which they run, they would stumble and eventually fall.
“William, Sophia, is that the proper way to give a welcome to Her Holiness?”
Wow, this guy must be a party-pooper.
Realizing their mistake, the two children straightened up, dusted their clothes, and returned to their old, aristocratic selves. They stood behind their father and bowed in reverence before their sister.
“Welcome to Fen, Your Holiness!” they formally greeted her.
You know, I honestly think I’m watching a strange scene.
And then another round of silence followed. Is this a Chersean custom? They have a lot of time to waste; I guess?
“Maddie!” the old man suddenly softened up on his tough exterior and ran dramatically towards his daughter. Some tears were being shed as he made his way to her.
“Papa!” Likewise, the daughter also broke into a dramatic run, and they were to meet in the middle of the road between the carriages.
The kids just watched them with an uninterested expression. I bet they’re kind of pissed right now because, hell; they did the same thing earlier, and they got an earful from their father. I would think of the same, too.
Honestly, what the hell am I watching? Some sort of awkward reunion movie?
“Oh, my! Papa suddenly vomited again!” the Saint was quick to step aside to avoid her father’s incoming goo.
Yeah, what the hell did just happen?
Duke Albert Matthew Marcus Sidney Rubinforth, Duke of Rubinforth and Chief Counselor of the Council of Royal Ministers, the advisory body to the king. One of the most influential and powerful politicians in the Kingdom of Nerfes, and also in the entire world inhabited by humans. He was widely known for his dedication to his duties, as well as his staunchly reactionary views towards the relationship between nobles and commoners. His sobriquet, ‘Iron Counselor’, was the proof of his stubbornness in defending and proclaiming his views.
To the people of Nerfes, his voice was equal to the voice of God—which was, coincidentally, his daughter. Or so I heard…
But yeah, with all those impressive titles and tall stories, the Duke of Rubinforth that I’m looking at right now was far from those. For all that they said about him, I guess there were a few ironies. For one, I could tell that the Duke was way too doting towards his daughter. I mean, what the heck, just look at those banners that were hanging at the manor…
‘Welcome home, Maddie!’
‘Papa’s waiting for his baby!’
‘Bow down before my holy daughter, peasants!’
Honestly, how far would this man go to show his contempt for others? Just because his daughter was the Saint, he’s showing everyone how superior his family was…
Now I’m getting the idea that the reason everyone here at Fen knew about Her Holiness’ arrival was because of those banners and streamers. Like what? Baby? Do you call your daughter ‘Baby’ at that age? That’s freaking creepy and awkward! And second, though he may have tried to make himself appear to be tough, the Duke was currently being tended to since Her Holiness appeared; he began vomiting the moment they came too close to each other.
“Err…i-is your father okay, Your Holiness?” I worriedly asked the Saint as she just stood aside and was reduced to staring coldly at her old man from a considerable distance.
“Don’t worry too much about him; he’s fine.” she quipped.
He doesn’t look fine to me, though.
“You worry too much, Master!” Her Fluffy Holiness seconded, with the same coldness in her eyes.
Come on, guys! The old dude is getting paler and paler by the minute! How about you, Lily?
My eyes turned to the Head Maid, but she also kept her unusual distance. She carried on her duties as a normal maid should. The paladin guards didn’t even care. His other children also maintained their aloof expressions. The only ones who were doing something were the Duke’s guards; however, they’re just fanning him like he’s hot or something…
What the hell, guys? That isn’t how you administer first aid to a collapsed man!
I looked around to look for water for him to drink. But everyone’s busy unloading and unpacking things; no one’s bothering to help.
“Pah! You’re too noisy and fussy, young man!” I suddenly heard the gruff voice of the sick fellow behind me. I turned and was surprised to see that he’s recovered from being deathly pale to a healthy pink color. The Duke’s now stood on his feet!
That is quick!
“Told you, Papa is alright.” the Saint nonchalantly commented.
Her Fluffy Holiness chuckled, “How come you didn’t notice, Master? You’re supposed to be a sharp person!”
Well, you girls kept your weird distance from him, even if the Duke seems like he’s about to die?
“That’s correct, though only ‘half-correct’, I’d say.”
“What do you mean?”
“Haa…” Her Holiness then let out a long, exhausted sigh, “Papa has inherited the ‘Curse of the House of Rubinforth’.”
“Hah? A curse?”
“Yes, it began with my ancestor, the noble knight Jimmy Nee Rubinforth.” the Human Saint explained, “As you may have heard from Ruro, he’s allergic to big breasts.”
“And my father had the same curse passed down on him.”
Oh, so that ‘common enemy’ that the two Saints are telling me before is…
Her Fluffy Holiness continued my words, “It’s because the Duke and his ancestors before him hated big breasts.”
“I hope I won’t get that.” I heard the young Rubinforth boy say.
“Don’t worry William, I’m sure you won’t!” Her Holiness reassured her little brother by patting his head, “Or you’ll be wasting your life unable to touch one of a woman’s greatest assets.”
I’m surrounded by idiots.