Chapter 3:

So henceforth, Youko Miyake longs to understand.

Accepted


Youko Miyake

When I first saw Okumori's mom, I was overly astounded. She was the complete opposite of Okumori, being rather cheerful and very ecstatic. It made me question something very vital:

Who did he get that reclusive and isolated personality from?

I didn't see any sign of a father figure, or anyone else in the house in that matter, that could’ve potentially had the same personality as him. I could only presume that it was just the both of them in the house who lived in the house.

So, why is he so cold?

Now, the thunderous rain would ease down and instead was replaced with light sprinkles that I could faintly hear. The reverberating thunder ceased and was substituted for the sounds of crickets that annoyingly chirped and twittered. I could even smell the fragrant scent of petrichor that flew past me.

"Oh, before you go, what should I call you?" I looked up at her.

"Huh? Hm..." She looked up at the ceiling as she pondered. After a few seconds, she gave me a thumbs up and smirked. "Well, you can call me Oba-san if you'd like!”

I nodded, surprised by her assuring confidence.

She then lowered her hand and sighed.

“Also, I’m sorry for that sight, Miyake-chan... Toshiro is sometimes careless, and well, you’ve seen it at best.”

“Ah! That, haha! I-It’s fine! I don’t mind!” I laughed while I slightly blushed.

No, that’s a lie! I can’t unsee that image! Why was it so small?! Aren’t they supposed to be bigger?! Better yet, what’s with his lack of care?! Grip the towel tightly next time, Okumori!

“But, just a quick question, Miyake-chan. Toshiro hasn’t told you why he acts like that, has he?”

I stopped freaking out altogether and gazed at her in slight startlement.

“... Huh?”

I met her purple eyes, which were just like Okumori’s, yet also the complete opposite. Her eyes had a beautiful gleam on them, while Okumori’s had a dark purple shade, much like the color violet, with tiny pupils that didn't seem lively at all. Ever since I saw him, his eyes never changed and always kept the form of a fatigued and stressed state.

Though, this question of Okumori’s mom made me feel peculiar. The only words that I could think of upon hearing this unanticipated, bizarre question was:

Will it benefit me?

“No. I don’t.” I said heedfully.

She sighed boringly and closed her eyes for a split second before opening them again.

“Well, that’s expected.” She mumbled. Then, she linked both of her hands together and raised it beside her left cheek while she released an inept chuckle. “Sorry, that was a dumb question! Never mind!”

My heart dropped upon hearing her refusal to speak.

… What does that mean?

“O-Oh! That’s fine!” I forced a smile.

As she smiled, it didn’t take long for me to figure out that nothing could really indicate pleasantness from it. Even with her optimistic grin, I couldn’t help but sense a poignant feeling in my body as I eyed her.

“What about you, Miyake-chan? What do you think of him as of right now?”

Her arbitrary question caught me off guard, and I could only simply gaze at her in silence and slight disarray.

I relieved a small sigh and aimed my eyes to the floor.

“Um, well… He’s very reticent and antisocial… He doesn’t seem to adore me, either….”

“Ooh, I see.”

“I didn’t mean anything bad by it, though!” I looked back up.

“I know, I know.” She giggled.

She exhaled out once she finished her tittering and exchanged her chirpy smile into a more deliberate look.

“But, Miyake-chan… Do you believe you can become friends with someone like him?”

I froze.

There was a frigid breeze of wind that flew past me as I became at a loss for words. Its cold, chilly sensation met with my skin, with my hair and clothing flying to the right as the wind passed by.

Truthfully, the answer to her question was nowhere to be found in my head. Okumori didn’t seem to admire me in the slightest, nor did he even bat an eye at me. So, why am I so stubborn about this? Did I truly want to befriend someone like him? Would it be worth it?

Even if that task succeeded, then how long would it last? How friendly would that relationship be? Will it be something real, or something fake?

Will he become real, or will he stay true to a falsified act?

“... I don’t know if we can become friends in the future, but if it happens, then… Then I’ll be someone he can depend on.”

“Ahh, jeez! You’re too cute! come here!”

She stepped forwards and embraced me in her arms, hugging me tight and placing her forehead on my left shoulder.

“O-Oba-san?!” I shrieked. “What are you doi-”

“Please...” She solemnly muttered.

I stopped and closed my mouth upon hearing her.

“Please don’t hurt him. I’m begging you.”

All of a sudden, her grip around my torso became stiffer. Her words sounded sincerer now, too. Unlike her jaunty and slightly immature nature earlier, she was now starting to sound like an adult. There was no glee or satisfaction in her pitiful pleading words, but instead sorrow and melancholy.

… Oh.

I hovered my hands in the air before finally setting them down on her back and nodding while I stroked her.

“Mm. I won’t.”

Eventually, after a few seconds of silence, we pulled away from each other. I caught sight of her delicate face once more and spotted that the lids under her eyes had a light shade of red, while she revealed another one of her desperate, sunny, content smiles.

While she smiled, the hostile rain from earlier would return and began to clap against the concrete road, getting louder and louder by the second. The roaring of boomer thunder returned, too, and could be heard in the distance. I tried to ignore it, but I couldn’t help but slightly worry that I would get soaked again, even if my house was just across from here.

“Well, I shouldn’t keep you for too long.” She lifted her arm and set her palm on the top of my head, and began to caress it. “You should go before your mom gets mad. Moms can get terrifying, you know?”

I could only be quiet as I eyed her in uneasiness. All I could do was give a reluctant smile at her and a tentative nod.

“Y-Yeah! I’ll see you later, Oba-san!”

“Mm, bye-bye, Miyake-chan…”

I gave her a quick nod and quickly jogged back to my house with my arms above my head to try to cover myself from the rain. I entered my house with an anxious sigh and gazed inside.

The lights were on, but the living room was empty. The light-brown couch seemed untouched and sat right beside a round table that had the TV remote on top of it.

“I’m home!” I called out, while taking off my shoes and setting it by the door.

There was no response I could hear, except the rumbling thunder that continued outside.

“Guess she’s gone…” I muttered.

I went upstairs to my room, and carelessly threw myself over to my bed. I stayed in a single position, then started to squirm around the bed. Finally, I curled myself into a ball, and gripped the pink mattress sheet in distress.

“Jeez, what am I going to do now...?” I mumbled.

I shoved my hand inside my sweatshirt pocket, and dragged out my phone. It had a matte amber color, with small cute trinkets of fruits behind it. I turned it on, and caught sight of a message that was present.

Himari Iwasaki

Oh, right.

Himari Iwasaki. She was very friendly; probably the friendliest person I’ve met in the school yet. She had teal eyes that resembled a shining diamond, and long silky brown hair styled in a ponytail with a streak of pink on her bangs that covered her forehead.

However, whenever a guy approached her, she’d turn into some scary, cold-blooded sociopath. At first, I had believed that it was because she was trying to steer people’s attentions away from me when we were together, but when I had spectated her from afar, those heartless eyes and merciless attitude of hers returned almost instantly.

She’s scary...

"Do you want to go to the café tomorrow? It’ll be fun.” The message read.

A little thrilled that she was inviting me somewhere, I replied right away.

"Yes, of course!”

"Okay, it'll be after school. is that fine?"

"Definitely."

Then, I remembered Okumori. Of course, he hadn’t left my thoughts just yet, and this café invitation definitely seemed like a great way to know him better. Is he a chocolate person, or a vanilla person? Or, does he like strawberry flavored things, like me? I’m curious to what he’ll pick.

Oh, well… I'll ask him tomorrow.

It didn’t take long for me to prepare myself for bed. I took a shower, changed into pajamas, and even made sure I had my stuffed bunny beside me. I turned off the lights and hugged the bunny tightly while my eyes were set at the dark ceiling above me.

… Oh. I can’t sleep.

My eyes refused to shut. It denied my desperate attempt of sleeping.

Still, I could feel a disturbance in my body, as if it was some sort of dagger piercing my stomach. It was because of those begging, depressed words from Okumoris’ mom. It bugged me, so much so where I was beginning to experience chills throughout my body. I never knew someone could seem so… desolate and miserable.

But, my curiosity only worsened upon hearing it.

What happened to Okumori? Why is he the way he is? Why was his mom begging me not to hurt him? Was it so bad to the point where he turned into some odd, mute, and ill-tempered person?

Am I even able to help him, and lower that wall of his? Or will I just be sacrificing myself for an outlandish future? Or worse, will he hurt me?

I want to know him so badly. But, I’m also scared. I’m terrified. He might damage me; earn my trust and manipulate it, attack me with dreadful words to make me feel miserable and treat me like a punching bag.

… Yet still, I can’t let go of it.

If I can help another human, and save them from a world of solitude and fabrication, then it’s no mistake that I’ll finally be able to become someone useful in this world and satisfy myself. I wouldn’t have to be someone who’s simply there because of ‘admiration’ from others, or used as a last resort and treated as a ‘friend’ any longer.

I want to be satisfied. Be satisfied, and satisfy others. Earn that trust, and lend it to others. Known as someone real, and know real people.

I want it all.

“So please, Okumori-kun. Don’t hurt me.” I quietly muttered.

And just like that... I fall asleep.

The next morning.

Before I knew it, the sun was already up; it’s bright yellow-orange shade shining through my window and blinding me. I wriggled around in my blanket for a few more seconds with weary grumbling, and tightened the hug I gave to my stuffed bunny as I attempted to find a more comfortable spot on my bed.

Then, I opened my eyes in fright.

Wait, I have school today, don’t I?!

I raised my head from my table in an instant and snatched my phone from my table. I turned it on and spotted the time.

7:45

Late, late, late! I’m going to be late!

My mom had already been at work, and trusted me to be responsible for my own self, so being late to school would be gravely forbidden. I knew that she’d become extremely distraught if she realized that I was late on my second day of school.

I made sure I fixed my hair, brushed my teeth, and washed my face in the bathroom before racing back into my bedroom. I threw off my pajamas, and replaced them with the school uniform in a hurry, then darted outside the house.

Luckily, it didn’t take long for me to catch up with the rest of the students who were heading to the same direction. Once I had caught up with them, I hindered my pace and began to regain my breath. While I walked, I was met with lighthearted greetings such as “Hi, Miyake-san!” or, “Good morning!” And even embarrassing things like, “You look really cute today!”

It’s only been a day… I thought as I greeted them back with hearty grins.

I looked back to the ground in timidity and firmly clutched my school bag to my chest.

“So many people already know me…” I whimpered.

Since I wasn’t looking at where I was going, I ended up crashing my head straight into someone. I stumbled back, and let out a howl of agony.

“Ouch!” I cried as I dropped my schoolbag and held my head in anguish. “I-I’m sorry! I’m so sorry!” I apologized dearly as I bowed with my eyes closed. I didn’t know who I had been apologizing to, but I didn’t have time to spot who it was, either.

“Gah!” They answered.

“Gah?” I opened my eyes and raised myself up while still holding my head.

A male student stood in front of me, having wavy unkempt black hair, and long eyelashes that his bangs touched. His irises took the color of a lavender, violet shade, while his pupils were dilated from what seemed to be shock. His facial features weren’t half bad, either, having nice symmetrical lips, and a rather prominent chin. His only downside in terms of looks were his eye bags, which were easy to spot, yet also fit him for some odd reason.

He had been slightly leaned back, with his arms raised in front of his chest in startlement and speechlessness. I could spot his earbuds that were connected with his ears, and the wire that dangled around in the wind.

Wait a minute.

I took a moment to eye him closely, to which he leaned back even more and released small, discomforted grunts. Then, I pulled away and tilted my head at him inquisitively.

“Okumori-kun?” I pointed at him.

His startled expression gradually turned to a daunting glare, and his aura became more frightening than it was yesterday. I felt regretful upon noticing it, because I was most likely the one that caused this grouchy attitude he returned to me.

“S-Sorry, Okumori-kun… I wasn’t paying attention to where I was going.” I coyly chuckled while scratching my head.

An agitated “Tch.” Came out of him, before he shoved his hands in his pockets and walked away, ignoring me.

I sighed and followed behind him. “Okumori-kuuun. I’m really sorry! I really am!”

He continued to walk forth and ignore me, and it made me sulk in return. I fastened my walking pace and got closer to him, then reached over to his neck and grabbed the wire of his right earbud. I pulled it off, and held it in my right palm.

He stopped walking, and faced me with a scowl.

“It’s rude to ignore me.” I pouted.

Okumori shook his head in annoyance, then grabbed his earbud away from my hand and began making his way to the school’s entrance. It was just as if he was saying, “You’re wasting my time.”

I frowned even more after seeing his response.

I’ll get you to like me! I swear on it!

I caught up beside him and sighed once more. We walked in silence, until he pulled out his phone and began typing. I watched in curiosity, wondering who he was sending a message to. If I was correct, Okumori didn’t have any friends in school, so who exactly was he texting to? His mom? Someone I don’t know about? I’m curious.

Then, I felt my phone vibrate. I took it out and looked at what the notification was, only to see Okumori’s name. Rather startled, I opened the message and saw what he sent me.

“I’m being glared in horrifying ways just by being with you, by the way. Stay away. You're making me the center of attention."

I blinked at the message.

Are people that jealous… ?

I then smiled and looked up at Okumori.

“It’s my revenge for you being so rude to me.” I teased, nudging his side with my elbow.

I watched him let out a dreary sigh upon hearing me. My smile only widened in response. But, that mocking grin of mine vanished quick, because it didn’t take long for me to get uncomfortable after finally noticing the stares we were getting. Everyone was indeed eyeing us. More specifically, Okumori. I could only imagine what was going through his head after being met with this many eyes.

I slid open the door of our classroom once we reached it, only to catch the sight of Iwasaki, who stood right in front of us and in shock.

“Iwasaki-san!” I pointed out.

“Ah- Oh! Hi, Miyake-san!” She nervously waved at me with her eyes closed. “You kinda surprised me. I was looking for you.”

“Sorry. I was kind of late to school.” I shyly laughed as I rubbed the back of my head. “What do you need, Iwasaki-san?”

There was no response that I could hear from her. I soon noticed that she hadn’t been looking at me anymore, but at Okumori instead. She was completely standstill, with her teal, shiny eyes directed at Okumori in incredulity. Okumori was no different, either, and returned the astonished look to Iwasaki.

“... Oh. Hey.” Iwasaki tepidly spoke.

Okumori was completely mute. His widened, violet eyes didn’t cower, and his lips didn’t bother to move a single inch to Iwasaki’s greeting. It was just as if the two of them were statues, and it left a sour feeling in my chest.

These two know each other, don’t they… ?

Before I could even intervene, Okumori decided to initiate the first step. He returned to his usual stern look, and promptly walked past us to enter the classroom. We both watched him in silence, until Iwasaki faced me again.

“Sorry. Um, anyway… I came to ask something about the café.”

Oh. She’s avoiding it...

“The café?” I tilted my head.

Iwasaki nodded. “Mhm. I wanted to invite a friend of mine. It’s one of my close friends…”

She broke eye contact with me, and instead targeted her eyes to the floor.

"Oh, that’s fine, then. I suppose bringing more people would be fun!” I pointed out.

“Really?!” Iwasaki leaned forwards.

I became shocked after hearing her overjoyed response, meekly nodding and forcing a smile.

"His name is Ichiro Kojima, or Kojima-kun. We've been friends since Junior high!" She festively informed.

“You sure sound pretty ecstatic about him…” I stated shyly.

She took a moment to sink in my question, then gave a grim look to me.

“It’s not like that.” She declared.

Scary! I’m never asking her a question like that ever again!

“Sorry. I just thought it was something nice to comment.” I said, while still feeling wary.

I then realized something vital.

“Wait, can I invite Okumori-kun too?” I spat out in a hurry.

“Sure. I don’t have a prob- Wait, who?” She stopped, her facial expression switching to a stumped one.

“Okumori-kun,” I repeated.

“Why?”

“Well, why not…?” I asked questionably.

I turned around and saw Okumori, who was simply watching us with his cheek placed on his palm while he listened to his music. He seemed to be paying attention, and simply observed us with impassive eyes.

I returned my eyes back to Iwasaki and saw her anxiously scratch her cheek.

“Wel—” She stuttered.

“Iwasaki-san, it's going to be fine!” I interrupted her.

Well, I hope. Now that I knew that Okumori and Iwasaki were probably acquainted with each other, I was now a step closer to knowing who Okumori is. Plus, if I’m there, as well as that Kojima guy, then it’ll be fine, right? Nothing bad will happen if they’re supervised.

“Fine...” She replied tiredly, appearing to give up on arguing against it.

I looked back at Okumori and nodded happily with a thumbs-up. He placed down his arms to rest his head on them, seeming rather defeated. I then looked back at Iwasaki, who had an abashed look on her face.

“Kojima-kun won’t hate it either, now, would he?” I asked in a curious tone.

“N-No, I don’t think.” She mumbled.

“Great!” I chuckled, patting her shoulder.

She sighed, “We’re heading there after school, so we’ll meet you two by the entrance. I’m, erm, going to go to my class now, so talk it with Okumori-kun and see if he’s willing to go...”

“Okay!” I nodded. “Bye-bye!”

I’m being selfish, aren’t I… ?

Iwasaki then exited the class hastily.

I waved in response, then faced the classroom and approached my seat. I stopped in front of Okumori, and noticed he still had his face still planted in his arms. He seemed like a child that couldn’t get his favorite toy in the store, and was now throwing a fit about it.

“Okumori-kun, it’s not a bad thing to be with people occasionally.” I worriedly sighed as sat down on my seat. “It’ll be fun for us, don’t worry. I won’t make Iwasaki-san do anything bad to you.”

"I'm not going." He interjected.

Startled that he actually spoke this time, I eyed him in amazement. it took me a few seconds to recollect my thoughts and figure out a response to his statement.

"Why not?" I asked curiously.

He lifted his head from his arms, and faced me with his weary, yet provoked eyes in silence. I couldn’t exactly tell what he was trying to say, but his look of animosity made me feel like it was better if he didn’t say it.

"Do you hate Iwasaki-san?" I finally had the courage to ask.

"... Your intuitions good, but that's about it." He grumbled at me.

"Ouch." I muttered at him back.

Judging from Okumori’s reaction, I assumed that his and Iwasaki’s relationship wasn’t the best. But still, if I can just ask Iwasaki about him, then maybe I’ll finally find an answer to this underlying past of his, and solve my odd wonderment about him.

Okumori looked back down to his arms, burying his head inside again.

“Okumori-kun, did you even get enough sleep?” I asked worryingly.

He didn’t respond.

“You know, if it makes you feel any better, I also slept rather late and woke up running here.” I attempted to comfort him.

He’d nod under his arms.

“Are you answering to you not getting enough sleep or acknowledging me running late?”

He bobbed his head again.

“I’m assuming it was both,” I said in a monotonous voice.

He nodded the third time.

Just talk, Okumori! It’s hard sparking a conversation with you! Jeez, it’s just awkward for me, you know?!

I sighed, and reached over to try to grab one of his earbuds. “Well, if you’re going to sleep, at least sleep without music.”

He moved his head away from me in response, and deliberately avoided my hand.

I stopped, and slowly reeled my hand back. I set it on the table, then closed my eyes and forced a chirpy smile at him. “... I won’t force you. It’s fine.”

Class started, with Okumori supposedly dozed off in his seat while I wrote down the notes and listened to the teacher. But, I was also partly sidetracked, because it surprised me to see that the teacher didn’t even acknowledge the sleeping Okumori. Either the teacher was careless about his students, or he simply didn’t notice.

I set my pencil down and turned my head to Okumori with my hands placed on my cheeks. The bright yellow sunlight beamed through the classes window, but stopped by Okumori’s feet, leaving the rest of his body under the shade of the classroom.

That was also another thing about Okumori. No one seems to notice him at all. Everyone walks past him without a second thought, just like if he was invisible. It seems like I was the only one who directed any attention to him. It made me wonder; does Okumori like that lifestyle? Being so confined within one’s self, refusing to talk to others, giving other people obnoxious responses, all of it seemed, well, rather mundane to do.

But, I’m quite the same, too.

So, I’m in no place to judge his odd nature of sociality. It’s a hypocritical, and deceitful thing to do.

All I know is that he’s like a book. You can easily understand the sentence that’s being conveyed, or you have to reread it over and over again for you to fully comprehend what it’s trying to inform.

Well, it’s only been a day… He’ll probably open up to me soon.

Soon, school ended, with the Westminster chime playing all throughout the school. I rose from my seat and looked at Okumori, who appeared to be in a comatose on his seat.

“Okumori-kun, school ended. Get uuuuppp.” I nudged his arm lightly.

He’d groan, then looked up at me with his semi-closed eyes.

“We have to go meet Iwasaki-san and Kojima-kun at the gate, remember?"

Upon hearing what I said, his eyes enlarged, before speedily avoiding my eyes and turning his head away from me to ignore me.

“Hey! Don’t overlook me!” I nudged his arm even harder.

He groaned, not budging to move in the slightest.

“Okumori-kun, I’m going to tell everyone what happened if you don’t come with me.” I glowered at him.

His pouting-like attitude didn’t disappear, and only continued to act like I wasn’t in his presence. Once I had realized this, I stepped back and cupped my hands around my mouth, then opened my lips.

"Okumori-kun has a smal—!"

His hands instantly connected with my shoulders, firmly gripping them as he eyed me with a flustered face.

"Does this mean you're coming?" I teased.

Okumori nodded rapidly.

Too easy.

I released a giggle, then grabbed my school bag and walked out. "Follow me!" I joyously uttered.

Okumori grumbled in return, but followed my orders without a question. He grabbed his bag and stomped after me with an annoyed look on his face.

We both left the classroom and made our way to the school gate, where Iwasaki and her friend was. Soon, we’d spot them, and it wasn’t much of a hassle to see who Kojima was.

He was around the same height as Okumori, but had more of a lean body type, and a more expressive look to him. He had dark brown hair styled in an undercut, with bangs that covered some of his forehead, and emerald green eyes that glistened in the sunlight.

“Iwasaki-san!” I waved as I approached the two.

Iwasaki waved contentedly. Kojima, who was beside her, swayed his hand right to left at me with a smile as well.

“Yo. I’m Ichiro Kojima. A pleasure to meet you.” Kojima introduced once we had neared them.

“My name is Youko Miyake, a pleasure to meet you too!” I gleefully replied.

Kojima would then look over to Okumori, and reintroduced himself. Okumori didn’t respond though, and simply stared at him with his usual empty, and wearied eyes. Kojima realized this with a sly smile on his face, while he kept quiet as he patiently waited for Okumori to speak.

I placed a gentle hand on Okumori’s shoulder. “Sorry, his name is Toshiro Okumori. He doesn’t talk much.” I informed.

Okumori gripped my wrist and pulled it away from his shoulder, then directed his eyes to his right to dodge our gazes.

Kojima’s green eyes didn’t leave Okumori, until he closed them and let out a tricky chuckle.

“Oh, um, I assume that’s fine? We’re all nervous here, right?” He said as he scratched the back of his head.

I looked back to Iwasaki, who was also dodging us by looking away, much like Okumori. It was awfully clear that the presence of Okumori was making her at unease, and it made me slightly perturbed.

Something happened between these two, hasn’t it?