Chapter 31 The Art of Goblin Wake-Up

Lyn let out a contented sigh, canceling her humanoid transformation. Her body shimmered with a soft, magical glow, and in an instant, she shrank back into her natural, majestic form - a tuxedo cat, sleek and elegant, with a coat of fur that gleamed even in the faint light of the cave. Her long tail flicked playfully as she padded over to the soft moss, circling it a few times before settling down, curling up into a perfect ball. Her purrs, gentle and rhythmic, filled the small space like a comforting lullaby.

I couldn’t take my eyes off her. She looked so serene, so at peace, her soft purrs like a distant melody in the background of the storm outside. The rain was still pounding heavily against the earth, a steady drumbeat that echoed through the cave, but Lyn... she was calm, her small chest rising and falling steadily as she closed her eyes, drifting off into sleep without a care in the world.

Meanwhile, my mind was anything but peaceful. My heart pounded furiously in my chest, like a drum that wouldn't stop. I could feel it thudding against my ribs, almost like it was trying to break free from inside me. My breathing was shallow, and no matter what I did, I couldn’t get comfortable. The excitement, the anxiety - it was all too much.

"Why can't I sleep?" I muttered, flopping onto my side and staring at the ceiling of the cave. I was filled with a thousand thoughts racing through my nut-sized goblin brain. The plan Lyn proposed, the thought of meeting her father, Boss Cat, and the looming confrontation with Rakrak... it all spiraled in my head, swirling together in a dizzying mess of fear and hope. What if I failed? What if Rakrak saw right through us? What if, somehow, everything went wrong?

I clenched my eyes shut, trying to force the thoughts away, but my heart just pounded louder, like it was mocking me for thinking I could get any rest.

"Come on, sleep... I need sleep," I grumbled to myself, pulling my hands up to my face and physically pressing my eyelids down with my fingers, trying to shut out everything, as if I could trap my thoughts inside. But my eyes refused to cooperate. Every time I squeezed them shut, they’d just pop open again. I could hear the faint rustle of Lyn’s breathing, so calm and peaceful, while I lay there like an anxious bundle of nerves.

I flipped over onto my stomach, burying my face in the mossy ground.

 "Please, just let me sleep," I whispered to the damp earth, feeling the coolness of the ground beneath me. But no matter how many times I shifted, tossed, and turned, my brain wouldn’t quiet down. I imagined every possible way our plan could fail, every terrifying scenario playing out in vivid detail behind my eyelids.

The rain outside didn’t help either. Instead of lulling me to sleep, the constant pounding made my nerves even worse, each drop feeling like a ticking clock, counting down the time until we had to face Rakrak.

"Maybe if I just..." I sat up, pulling my knees to my chest, staring at the cave entrance. Outside, the rain fell in thick sheets, masking the world in darkness. 

"Maybe I can sleep sitting up?"

I leaned back against the cave wall, hugging my knees, trying to mimic Lyn’s calm posture, but I felt ridiculous. I huffed, giving up, and flopped onto my back again, the anxiety clawing at my insides. Every second that ticked by felt like another lost opportunity for rest, and I knew I needed to sleep, but the pressure just made it worse.

After what felt like hours of tossing, turning, and trying every position imaginable, I finally began to feel the heavy pull of exhaustion. My muscles ached from tension, and my mind was finally too tired to keep spinning its web of fears and worries. Slowly, almost begrudgingly, my eyelids began to grow heavy. I felt my body relax, if only a little, sinking into the moss beneath me.

"Just... sleep... just a little..." I mumbled to myself as I drifted in and out of consciousness, my thumb finding its way into my mouth.

And then, finally, mercifully, sleep came. My body relaxed fully, sinking into the moss, and my anxious heart slowed its frantic pace. The pounding rain outside became a distant lullaby, and my goblin brain, exhausted from the day’s events, finally shut down. I slipped into the darkness of sleep, feeling the last remnants of tension leave my body.

Morning came far too soon, and like always, I was a disaster when it came to waking up. You see, I wasn’t just a hard sleeper; I was the kind of goblin that, once asleep, would need some time to properly wake up from sleep stupor and confusion. And even then, the process wasn’t pretty.

The first sign of life came when my body decided it was time to shift. Unfortunately, my brain wasn’t on board with that decision yet. My limbs, acting entirely on their own, began to flail about like a fish out of water. I let out a groggy grunt, more like a moan, and kicked one leg out so hard that I rolled over onto my side and face-planted right into the cold cave floor.

“Gah-blargh,” I mumbled through a mouthful of dirt and moss. My arms scrambled beneath me in a pathetic attempt to push myself up, but I only succeeded in rolling onto my back with a dramatic thud. My legs kicked out, one catching a rock and sending it skittering across the cave with a painful yelp.

"Wreeee!"

“W-what... where...?” I groaned, my voice a cracked whisper as I finally cracked my eyes open, only to be blinded by the soft glow of the glowing mushrooms that lined the cave walls. For a moment, I was completely disoriented, my sleep-induced stupor wrapping around me like a thick fog. I blinked stupidly at the ceiling, confused as to where I was or what was happening. Was I in a forest? Was I on a breeding farm? Or was I... still asleep?

“Am I dead? Is this what dead feels like?” I muttered, one hand weakly flopping onto my face as if to check if I still had a sniffer.

And then, just when I thought I was gaining some semblance of awareness, the real chaos began. My ears, which I had completely forgotten existed in my half-asleep state, decided they had their own plans. I turned my head slightly, and without warning, my big, floppy goblin ears smacked me straight in the face.

WHAP!

I gasped, recoiling in surprise. 

"Who’s there!? What’s attacking me!?"

I swatted at the air, still too groggy to realize it was my traitorous ears. Another ear swung and slapped me on the other side of my face.

WHAP!

"No! Get off! Off I say!" I yelped, tugging at my own floppy ears as if they were vicious predators. But in my confusion, all I managed to do was slap myself again, this time with both ears simultaneously.

 Whap, whap! 

A double ear smack right across my face.

“Oh, goblin spirits! What’s happening!?” I yelped, panic set in as I flailed comically, trying to bat away the imaginary attackers. My hands flapped wildly, smacking my cheeks in my desperate attempt to fend off the ‘assault.’ I twisted and turned, my body flopping like a fish out of water again, kicking up moss and dirt in my blind confusion.

Suddenly, I heard it - a soft, amused laugh. That laugh. That familiar laugh.

I blinked rapidly, my vision finally clearing enough to see her. Lyn, in her small tuxedo cat form, was sitting nearby on the soft moss, watching me with those mischievous golden eyes. Her whiskers twitched as she smirked, clearly enjoying the ridiculous scene playing out before her.

“Good morning, Little Green. I was just about to wake you up, but it looks like you’ve got that covered!” she purred, her voice dripping with playful sarcasm.

My face flushed a deep, embarrassed green as I lay there, sprawled on the ground in a twisted mess of limbs and ears. I opened my mouth to say something - anything - but all that came out was an unintelligible squeak, like a squeaky toy that had been stepped on. I hurriedly tried to gather myself, untangling my legs from each other and sitting up properly, only to bump my head against the low cave ceiling.

"Ow! Ouchies!" I yelped, rubbing the top of my head. My morning was going from bad to worse.

"Careful there, Hermit," Lyn purred, still laughing softly. 

"The cave's not as big as you think."

I shot her a sheepish look, feeling utterly foolish. Of course, the cave wasn’t that big. I had spent all night in it, after all, but my groggy, half-asleep brain had decided to forget everything. Lyn, however, seemed thoroughly entertained by my antics.

With a flick of her tail, she stretched out lazily, clearly in no rush to stop enjoying the show. 

"You always wake up like this? I gotta say, it’s... adorable. Like a baby goblin learning how to walk for the first time." Her voice was laced with playful sarcasm, but there was no malice in it. If anything, she sounded like she found my sleep-induced stupidity charming in its own ridiculous way.

“Oh no,” I groaned, my hands slapping my face for a whole new reason now. I curled up into a ball, trying to hide my embarrassment.

 “Please tell me I didn’t... I wasn’t...”

“Oh, you were,” Lyn said with a playful snicker. 

“You were flailing around like a goblin possessed. I thought something might’ve actually been attacking you, but turns out, it was just your own ears.” She let out a soft laugh again, the sound bright and teasing.

"I... I’m not usually this bad," I muttered, though I wasn’t entirely sure that was true. Being a goblin meant waking up in panic was kind of a given, especially with my history. But still, Lyn didn’t need to know just how often this kind of thing happened.

"You sure about that?" Lyn teased again, "’Cause I’ve seen goblins tumble down a hill less gracefully than you did just now."

I felt my ears turn hot with embarrassment, but I managed a sheepish smile, looking over at her as she curled back up on the moss, her purring continuing like the whole morning had been nothing but a funny game to her.

 “Why... why am I like this?” I moaned dramatically, my voice muffled.

Lyn padded over, her feline form brushing against me. She nudged me lightly with her head, purring softly. 

“Don’t worry, Little Green. It was quite the show. Honestly, I don’t think I’ve ever seen anyone fight themselves so... energetically, first thing in the morning.”

I peeked out from between my fingers, still feeling the heat of embarrassment on my face. 

“That’s... not exactly comforting.”

“Hey, at least you’re funny,” Lyn said with a wink, brushing her tail against my face as she turned back toward the cave entrance.

 “Come on, sleepyhead. Time to shake off that morning stupor. We’ve got to go.”

I sighed, pulling myself up to a sitting position and rubbing my sleepy eyes. I was still half-asleep, my limbs feeling like they were made of lead, but at least the initial panic had subsided. I glanced over at Lyn, who was now stretching, her cat-like body arching gracefully.

“Well,” I muttered to myself, “at least she finds it funny...”

And with that, I slowly dragged myself to my feet, still feeling groggy and ridiculous, but a little less miserable knowing that, despite my foolishness, Lyn was still there, laughing by my side.