Mari

“Mari, Do you think everyone can pass through the gates of heaven?”

“Huh?” I turned towards Grace, eyes transfixed against the wooden ceiling. I could barely hear Ms. Yamada lecturing about some decrepit excuse of a book published before I was born, or the invention of electricity for that matter.

“It must be so right?"

"Never really thought about it."

"Well, the way I see it is; Without a chance to prove ourselves, there's no point in shoving everyone down in this little cramped box of a planet otherwise. Why not just throw us in heaven or hell?”

“Yeah I guess,” Grace had always been a little… off compared to the rest of the girls in our class. While most of us chatted about boys or the new sale at Uniqlo, Grace spent most of her free time stuffed in books the size of my head. 

There was a new one every week. Last week was Nietzsche, this one some American with seemingly three first names.

Still, compared to listening to Ms. Yamada droll on about the moral dilemma of some dead guy’s ex-wife I’d take the philosophical bullshit every time.

I leaned back in my chair, casually unwrapping a sucker from my bag—bubblegum, not bad. "Best not to think too hard on it," I said, twirling the candy stick between my fingers. "Sounds like more stress than it’s worth. And I’ve spent too much on face cream to let it all go to waste." I popped the sucker into my mouth, the sweetness overstimulating my senses. The state may have taken my cigarettes, but the only way they'd get these was from my cold, dead hands.

I glanced up. "So, what brought up the question?"

“This world is a hellscape already, doesn’t it terrify you that were not guaranteed anything after? There’s no objective metric for the afterlife. What if, well, not all of us are put down here with the right qualifications from the get-go.”

“I don’t know if I’d call it a hellscape,” I said. “That sounds a bit depressing.”

“Maybe, maybe not.” She just shrugged.

That's how it always went for her. I never got the feeling she was hunting for answers, not really. 

Hell, I don’t think there was an answer for half the things she asked. The important part was the whole asking thing.

I got up, stretching my arms, as the bells rang. Our school was a bit different in the whole noise department. While most classes got an annoying buzzer through the intercom, our solution was a lot more analog. A bell, easily twice my height, rang every hour on the dot, just above the school chapel on the top floor.

“Remember,” Ms. Yamada called out, trying to pause the mass exodus of students from her room, “Your midterm paper is due next week, don’t forget! A fourth of your grade is based on how well you do.”

“Shit!” I muttered under my breath. “Grace, what was the paper supposed to be about?”

“Comparing the historical translations of the bible from the Middle Ages to now, in English and Japanese.”

“English too?” I groaned. The irony was palpable. The whole reason I’d gone out of my way to choose St. Peters was because of how heavily they pushed English, yet every assignment with English made me want to tear my hair out.

Who would have guessed the foreign-run religious school would have actually done what they promised to do?

Oh, wait, everyone.

The only nice part was the tall foreign boys, and even they were normally stuck in Japanese prep while the rest of us struggled halfway across the school in English. It looked like I’d be spending the next few days surviving on energy drinks and Japanese-to-English textbooks again.

“Screw this,” I muttered. That was a later problem.

I shoved my umbrella out from its white sheath. Lately, it felt as if every afternoon was guaranteed to come with a downpour, no matter the season. The second the clock struck three the clouds felt an urgent need to let down their extra tears.

“Mari, wait up!” I turned, watching Chiyo run outside with her bookbag doing its utmost to protect her from the rail. “I forgot my umbrella again let me under yours.”

“Don’t you forget it every day?”

“I'll bring it tomorrow, trust.”

“You said that yesterday!”
“That was a whole day ago. Tomorrow will be different.”

I just sighed, letting the tiny girl under my umbrella. If Grace was one end of the spectrum, Chiyo was on the exact other end, if not a bit of an idiot. “I’m stopping by the mall on my way back, you want to come with me?”
“Aeon mall?”

“We live in Japan there are no other malls.”

“Sure! I need a costume for our Halloween party anyway.” Shit, I needed something for that too. Halloween was in a week. I couldn’t be the only girl without a costume.

I could feel the cash disappearing from my wallet with every step.

We walked along the side road, letting small four-door sedans pass us by one by one. Vines had been allowed to reclaim the tall concrete bridge next to the sidewalk. They twirled around like snakes, moving left and right in a desperate attempt to blindly reach the top of the hill for that extra bit of sunlight.

What would I dress up as this year? I couldn't match in of the other girls, that was social suicide, but going as something too niche would take way too much work. Should I just pray and gamble on like a demon or something?

"Chiyo, what are you going as this year?" I asked.

"Maybe a bunny?" She frowned, eyes stern in concentration. "Bunny's are cute, but I went as a bunny two years ago. Maybe a dragon then. Dragons are super cool, and there's a really cute costume on sale I saw last week. Hopefully, no one stole it."

Maybe there was a reason that the dragon costume was on sale, just saying.

We continued our walk until the massive mall came into view, with its green facade stark against the cloudy sky. From the downpour, a tiny stream slowly trudged along aginst the flowerbeds lining the structure's walls. If the clouds decided to give us a flood's worth of water every day, might as well put them to good use.

“Hey, is that Grace?” Chiyo said, pointing to some faint object in the distance.

“Maybe?” I muttered, spreading up my pace. The girl did have Grace’s blonde hair, and the school uniform matched, but, what would she be doing all the way out here?

The girl didn’t have so much as a sheet of paper covering her head, yet she walked like the rain wasn’t a bother. There was something almost ominous about the way she started ahead towards the ally, blank-faced and closed-lipped.

“Hey, get under here!” I shouted, me and Chiyo running towards her as Grace’s face came into view. We shoved her underneath, a tight fit.

“Mari, Do you think everyone can pass through the gates of heaven?” Her voice came out rapsy.

I pierced my lips, that question again? “I don’t know, what I do know is we need to get you out of here before you catch a cold.”

“I can.”

“Huh?”

“I can. I can pass through the golden gates. Do you want to join me, Mari? You can come too Chiyo. As long as you have the qualifications we can all enjoy heaven together.”

As she spoke, her eyes stayed transfixed on the alleyway. Even forcefully trying to turn her head didn’t do anything. “Hey, um, what do you mean you can go to heaven? Is that like a metaphor for something or…”

“No.” She thrust off my arms, walking towards the alleyway. “Don’t worry, I know you are confused, but they have a plan for us all. Don't you want to be free? Your parents want to chain you up and take away everything you love. Makeup and denial can only hide the cuts for so long.”

“How the fuck did you hear that?” I shoved her against a nearby wall, nearly cracking the bricks her hands laid against.

“A friend,” With strength belonging to someone twice her size, Grace shoved me back, brushing her wrists and walking towards the shadows that the ally provided. “My offer stands, meet me here tomorrow if you want to know more.”

“Wait–” She walked into the ally, just out of reach. When I turned the corner, I saw empty boxes, an old rusted latter with half its rungs broken, and clotheslines hanging up above–their contents destined for another day hanging outside. But not Grace, no, everything but Grace.

Whatever, I said, more to stop myself from thinking about it than anything else. This was not the day for existential bullshit. "Chiyo, come on, let's get the cutest costumes we can find!"

"R-right," She said, grabbing my hand, clearly still a bit disturbed. 

I couldn't help but think about Grace's last statement. Someone had clearly told her some stuff she had no right to know.

And luckily for me, that list was pretty small.