To Each Their Own Pt. 4

Their eyes pierced through me like daggers, each one sharper than the last.

"Sol...?" Judan mumbled. "Do you even understand the gravity of that statement?"

I gulped. "Maybe. Maybe not. But one thing's clear. Removing a code isn't a valid option, not while the risks are there. So... What about someone who doesn't have a code yet? What about me?"

They all exchanged unassured glances.

"I'm against it," Zephyr said. "While it is true that you don't have a code now, you did at some point. Not only did you survive the Athens Method, but you also wielded a first-grade code. You were essentially an unofficial Arbiter. There's no telling what might go wrong."

"Well, the same can be said about you guys too, right? More so than me since I'm no longer augmented."

While they all kept their gaze on me, Minerva was twisting her head left and right, as if she was hoping for someone to speak up. I knew they wouldn't take this well, but I had to convince them.

"Solas..." Astrid called out. "Do you even know what the Athens Method is?"

"I can't say that I do."

"It's not just a simple bodily enhancement process. It was created by the Queen to produce Athenians. You will be surrendering your humanity to machines, cutting through flesh and limbs and replacing them with metal and circuits. Even if you were put under anesthetics, you'd feel the pain as soon as your eyes open."

"That's to be expected."

"W-what about the code installation?" Minerva asked, clearly worrying about me. "To not only put the code nucleus in but also the iron cell, we... We'd have you cut your chest open!"

I planted my hand on my chest and imagined the process happening in real time. Just the thought of it is making me nauseous.

"If I've done it before, then I can do it again," I gulped, trying my best not to show my anxiety. "Either, it has to be done."

"I don't like it," Loki snarled.

"Loki?" Judan said.

"The reason why Nemmy fought was to protect the right to choose. The reason why we're still fighting is to keep people like you from having to augment, yet you're telling me that you're going to go through with it just because you have to? No... No, that's not right! We're supposed to be the ones protecting you, so why are you purposefully trying to put yourself in harm's way?!"

Her booming voice echoed loudly along the many corridors of the hotel, fading away the further up it went. It surprised me. She always struck me as the time to not care about anything, but now...

"I have to agree with Loki on this one..." Zephyr said. "Instead of augmenting because you want to, you're putting yourself in that position again because you feel like you have to."

"We know how you feel, Solas," Minerva chimed in. "Trust me, we do. But... We just can't afford to lose you too. Please, understand."

Just like Loki, all of them are showing me genuine care, and it's solely because I'm Nelia's younger brother. I'm trying to see this through their lenses. I'm trying to understand, and I think I do, but I'm just not willing to accept it. If anything, it only solidified my resolve.

"And why does it have to be like that?" I muttered.

"What...?" Loki growled.

I took a deep breath and let it out. This is my only chance to tell them what I've been thinking. I have to show them my resolve.

"Ever since I came here, I thought long and hard about this. I'm not who I was back then, whoever that was, and I had no intentions of going back knowing that I pushed Nelia to her death. But... the circumstances are different now. You all care about me. You're all saying that you need to protect me... so is it wrong for me to say that I want to protect you too?"

All of them, especially Loki, flinched at that sudden statement. I don't blame her. Even I'm surprised that I could feel like this, that I'm capable of saying these words.

"To be honest, the fact you guys keep saying that you have to protect me, keep me safe, this and that... It's not fair. To you... or me. You guys remind me of Nelia. Just like how you keep saying that you can't afford to lose me... I can't afford to lose you either. That's why... In order to do that... In order to be someone capable of standing next to Calypso.... I'll do it. I'll become Regulus again."

All my life, I fought against this. The idea of turning myself into something other than human—it disgusted me. At least... That's what I thought. But that wasn't the case. There was a moment in my life when I was augmented... when I had the power to face two Arbiters at the same time.

I guess... things change. Life can change you in unexpected ways, and that is certainly the case for me. I'll augment, just like the rest of them. It's no longer a choice. Maybe it never was.

"Sol... Do you stand by those words?" Judan asked with cold solemnity. "As Astrid said, this won't be something as simple as a doctor's visit. You may have been augmented before, but that is no longer the case. You have the right to choose this time, and if you go through with it, you won't be able to go back. You will be cut open. You will feel the pain even in your sleep. By the end... you will no longer be human. Can you live with that fact for the rest of your life?"

Of course I can't. I know I'll regret it. I know that every time I go to sleep, I'll look back to this moment and think... 'What happened? What's changed?'

I took a deep breath and steadied myself. "I stand by those words. I can handle it. I'll live with it for the rest of my life... as long as I can continue Nelia's legacy. To fight... and to protect the people that she loved."

I'll look back to this moment and think, but I also know that every time it happens, I'll come to the same exact conclusion. I had no choice, and if this is what I need to do for them... then I'll simply look ahead and be thankful that they're still alive.

"Haha... Goddammit," Astrid chuckled, which betrayed her previous seriousness. "You're a real~ handful, you know that, love?"

Judan crossed her arms and smiled. It wasn't just her either. The others had the same expression, except for Loki.

Zephyr stepped over and rested her hand on my shoulder. "Your sister would be so proud."

"U-um..."

"Hehe. What's wrong, buddy?" Minerva giggled. "You were talkin' big game just now."

"I... It's just... I guess I didn't expect you guys to agree that easily, especially since..."

My head tilted over to Loki, who was more or less unamused. She then let out a sigh and trudged over to me. I thought I was about to get smacked or something, but instead, she threw an arm around my neck with a relaxed grin.

"I can't tell if you're being brave or stupid, sweetie. Either way, I'm impressed, so I'll accept it. Besides, you're a wanted defect now. If you're gonna keep tangoing with the High Order, then you should at least be under our command. That way, we can keep watch over you."

I couldn't help but feel a sense of warmth coming from their tender gazes. For a brief moment, I saw a flicker of Nelia in their familiar gaze. It was as if, in all of these tender smiles, the past and present gently collided, bringing with it a bittersweet comfort I hadn't felt in years—a feeling that I'd only ever felt from Nelia.

Judan unfolded her arms and rolled the code nucleus and the iron cell across the table. Astrid reached out and stopped them with her hand.

"Then... Astrid," Judan said. "Begin the Athens Method on Solas."

"Hah... It's been a while since I've worked in an augmentation lab," Astrid chuckled. "I may have forgotten a step or two in the process. You trust me, love?"

"Not much of a choice, is there?" I scoffed. "Let's get started."

It feels like everything's been leading to this moment. I've spent years playing both sides, waiting for the right time, but now there's no more waiting.

The High Order took Nelia, they're trying to take Calypso, and they won’t stop until they've drained everything in this city. I can't sit in the shadows any longer. From here on, It's time to fight. Not just for me, not just for Nelia's memory, but for the people who still believe in something better. The decision has been made, and there's no going back.