The Familiar

I sat at my window sill. It was relatively nice room, my chambers. The ceiling was high, the rug was worn, the fire place was lit, the bed was simple, and there was a large number of clothes in my closet in a large variety of styles. There was even three sets of armor on display, and a few weapons too. To be used of course. Nothing was given to me with out a reason. Even if that reason was to keep me more… docile as these last years past. I’ve been groaning restless in these past almost three years now’s. That’s what the extra guards patrolling my tower are for. To remind of my place, not to stop me. They have my loyalty. I’ve been under there control for so long I barely remember anything before this. Before this was my life. Wake up, eat, study, train, eat, train, then lounge around waiting for orders. Normally just before dawn was my favorite time of day. Despite the many guards scattered across the fortress I was normally left alone. Sometimes Puck would stop to spar with me. I stopped enjoying it so much as of late. I wonder what I changed? Maybe I did. Not sure how or why. This life was all I’d ever known. But I did know people. I had to keep reminding myself for fear I would forget at any moment. I knew people on an intimate level most people would never be able to reach. I knew joy, and sadness, and pain. Mine and other. I didn’t remember joy so much. My mother’s face, winning my first fencing battle against Puck, and meeting Merlin of course. I summoned him then. Not even really thinking about it. He was in the form of a white cat, and settled himself on my lap. As if sensing by unease he began to purr comfortingly. I stroke him. 

“Just thinking again.” I say. Watching. Waiting for Puck to arrive. Simultaneously anticipating, and dreading my report to him. We do this monthly at least. He stops by sometimes. Less and less as I got older. Not seeing much of a need to check up on me now I guess. I’m not that scared, rebellious little child anymore. I haven’t been for a lost time now. I sense Merlin’s thoughts shift to our first meeting. My shift to it again too. I had been small. Five or maybe six. It was the only time in my life I could remember resisting hard enough to warrant being locked away in the dungeon. I had been crying. My white dress was simple, and well sewn, but the only thing I was allowed to have. I was alone. A guard just outside. I did something then it hadn’t occurred to me to do before. Something I had seen my mom do once, a vague memory, her bowing her head at the kitchen table, her face blurry. I prayed. I don’t know what too, if I had anything in mind when I did it. It was more like a wish. I wished and wished really hard, like children do on falling stars. I wished for things to get better, I wished for someone to help set me free, and I wished I was alone. That’s when he came though the window. A small white bird I now know was a dove. He landed on the floor in front of me. He changed then to his true form that if a Merlin. I was in awe. No I was delighted. He changed them from an arctic fox to a cat slim enough to slip through the bars. He padded over to me and meowed. I knew he wanted me to pet him. So I did. I knew he had came from a long way away. I could sense in his thoughts. Basic like bits of information. Like he was kind, and her was complete loyal to me. He’d do literally anything I’d ask of him. He was mine. My familiar. The the fae animals or dragons young fae, Druid, or tieflings might summon. And he had come because I accidentally summoned him. Because I needed him. I cried then and he rubbed up against me. I could sense his concern. I cried for a feeling I hadn’t felt in awhile. I cried for nostalgia. For everything I’ve lost. That night I cried for the forest that I lived just outside of. The same forest Merlin came from deep inside. It was the same trees, the same flowers, and so much clear beauty and his memories. So unlike mine already beginning to fade. I had asked him if he wanted to go. To leave me and go home. I knew he wanted to stay. I then told him to go. You’d be safer in the fae realm. He shook his head then. In his mind I saw that was the one order he couldn’t- wouldn’t fallow.