Wavering in the dark

I gasped as I opened my eyes, I was breathing heavily and looking around, I saw the stairs and the box, I got up and saw my hands, I began to stretch and touch every part of my body, a smile from my face while I closed my hands to then yell “Yahoo!” after. I wake up of the dream, I couldn’t be more happy

—Man, I guess the door wasn’t the only thing that was the exit of my dream, but I don’t want to go upstairs again. I'm exhausted, mentally, I don’t want to see another goddamn step in my life after this…

I saw the box and got close to it to search for something.

—Why am I searching for it again?

I scratched my head and look the basement, I went deep into it and look at the different furniture that was,

I started to sit in the chairs and play in the tables, I didn’t want to go upstairs so I started to mess around with the room, trying different forms of killing time, first I try to move the furniture to different places, then I was playing with ball of paper, trying to catch it, everything I did was so boring that it’s not even word mention.

I was leaning on the wall and hit my head on it, but I heard a hollow sound.

—Hum?

I hit the wall with my fist and hear how it was hollow inside, I took a stick and start hitting the wall, a lot of times but with any good attempt, I touched the wall in different parts until one part sink into the wall

The wall started to open slowly as I watched intrigued by what was happening. A completely dark hallway was ahead so I started walking in. Everything was so dark that I immediately had to go back to the stairs and grab a candle. The wax was already cold from the bottom, so I flipped the candle a bit to let the liquid wax that had melted drop on the floor.

Looking at the dark hallway I got enough courage to start walking in, as I entered, the walls were getting wider and wider and when I least noticed, I was walking in an empty space, I looked back and saw the light getting more and more lost in the dark

I stopped in one moment, there was nothing I could watch, I lean the light to my sides but nothing was to be seen, I was starting to feel cold, I got turn around and walk to the light of the basement, while I was walking I started to feel anxious, desperate, so I started to walk in a fast pace

That only make more anxious because the light wasn't getting closer, in fact, it was getting more and more far away from me, I started to run and the more I run the more the light was far from me, I throw the candle and start running with all I got, breathing from my mouth, without the correct rhythm, my steps were wrong too, almost tripping and waving my arms like if was drawing in the ocean.

I scream and repeat the words “No” a lot of times, more that I could remember, and then, black, completely black, but I didn’t stop running, it was only me being around in a place that it seems that it didn’t have any end, my footsteps, my breathing and my screams and whining were the only thing that make any sound in this vast dark place.

I stopped and fall on my knees, I couldn’t see anything, for quite a long time actually, I look at everywhere and I couldn’t even see myself, I could feel the touch of things, if I touch myself on the face I could feel my face but it didn’t feel real, not without being able to see it, so I started to hit the floor with my first.

—GET ME OUT OF HERE!

—The guy wants to get out

—He can’t get out

—Actually, he can

—ROOT!

—THOSE GODDAMN VOICES AGAIN, NO, NO, NO, NO!

I started to hit more the floor, I was angry, scary, the sound of the floor being hit was getting into my ears with more and more force, like a giant walking in the forest, I could feel a liquid coming out of the floor so I continue hitting it, one time after another, until my fist went dumb.

—OPEN YOURSELF YOU GODDAMN FLOOR, OPEN, OPEN, OPEN!

I touched my face to clean my sweet and took a sniff out of my fist, and then I lick it, the floor wasn’t getting open, and I knew why my fist were getting wet, it was because of blood, my blood, I could feel how I started trembling as I come to the realization that I was just hurting myself.

I put the palm of my hand on the floor and feel all the bloodstain, I couldn’t help but laugh, then sob just to start crying again, alone in the dark, bleeding and with no chances of getting out, I had given up, I didn’t have the strength to follow, so I lay down, looking at nothing and letting the dark consume me.

I wanted to be that way, just rot in the place I was, but life sure is cruel, I heard something breaking, and then a giant sound, like a window being hit by a ball that a child just throw by accident, I was falling, but I didn’t scream, I didn’t felt anything nor any thoughts were processed at that time, I was an empty cocoon just being driven by the flow of my own consequences mixed with bad luck.

Everything that had happened I search for it, and I knew, but I couldn’t help but blame some else, someone inexistent, just making more excuses given that I knew, it was all on me