It was hers...

Last night, I couldn't get a wink of sleep.

It felt horrible. I felt horrible, my mind was horrible, I said something horrible. Last night was of pure pain. But I guess that pain was justified. I deserved it. All night, the memories, the faces of those who went missing, my interactions with them flashed into my eyes. I don't know if they are dead or not, and I don't want to think that they are not alive. Because amongst them, she was present.

I looked at my hands, they were shaking. My mind has gone blank, I can't even remember anything, I am stuck at the present, with no memories of the past, with no dreams for the future. What am I really? Why am I alive right now? How am I going to lead my life without her? If by chance she...

I heard a knock on my door, which cleared my mind for a bit. But I didn't have any energy to get up and respond.

I felt detached from my body. Is this my soul? I feel like my soul and my body is being ripped apart, with a thin string connecting it. I felt like I was heavy lifting my body when I went to open the door.

"Oi... Katsuhito... what happened to you?", it was Teiji's voice. Am I hallucinating or have the power of my glasses increased? Why is he looking so blurry?

Oh right, I don't have glasses.

"I am alright. We are going to search for them now don't we?"

"You can't go like this!" he exclaimed. "Are you planning to die?"

Huh... should I answer that question or no? I don't know.

"I have to... she and... the others are waiting..."

His face told me that he agreed. Their lives are more important than my life right now, and he should worry about them more.

Satoshi took the lead as the only class rep in absence of sensei. He was going to take us to the beach again, trying to look for clues. But we can't go into the sea.

He counted all of our numbers. "Eh? Why is there one person short?"

Teiji went and whispered to his ear. "Tamiko is feeling seasick for some reason. He says he can't go unfortunately."

"I see. That figures, it was about 4 or 5 hours we were at the sea. I feel a bit seasick too."

"Otherwise, everything is fine. Except for him...", Teiji looked at me, drawing Satoshi's attention to me as well.

"Katsuhito, are you sure you want to join and not take rest?"

"Yes I'm fine-"

"Tsk." Takuma interrupted and went out of the hotel slamming the door. Everyone looked down in grief. Now I feel even more bad... I do not deserve to be enquired about my health.

I hate the silence in the bus. Why isn't anyone pushing me off the bus? I don't deserve to live after doing this horrible crime.

The bus abruptly stopped just in front of the beach. And the scene there didn't help in my will to live. Satoshi and Teiji hurriedly went down the bus, Teiji protecting me for some reason.

"What... the... heck...", Satoshi made an ugly face, covering his mouth.

In the beach lied the body parts, arms, legs, hands, ankles of different people, scattered throughout the sea. The eagles were circling over them, some tearing up meat from the body parts.

Takuma rushed over the scene, going closer to it then any of us. The smell of the rotting flesh made my stomach sick. I could hear vomiting sounds of some of my classmates from behind.

"This is... Miko and Maya-chans' hands...", Takuma fell down on his knees again like last night, on the hot sand. He picked up their bloody-red hands, and I noticed it too... the mole they had on their hands matched that of Miko and Maya's. This was a unique thing in their friendship, having a mole in the same place in the same hand but what use of talking about it now...

This time, he couldn't resist anymore. I heard him screaming and crying out so loud for so long that it might have broken his vocal cords.

"They are gone... they are gone!!!!" he cried. "They died!!!"

Teiji gripped my hands tighter. I tried to read his face. It was disappointed. "Dang it!"

Did I kill those 14 people? I asked myself... I couldn't find an answer.

We picked up all of the limbs and pieces of... meat that was scattered in the shore. I picked one myself to examine it. The cuts were jagged. It wasn't a smooth cut, it wasn't teared up also. It was probably cut with something very dull.

What am I even doing... holding the dead body of the people I have killed...

I accepted their blame. If they report me to the police and the judges give me capital punishment, I accept it. This guilt is too much for me.

We found 13 different pieces of 13 different people, all of them being my classmates and my sensei's. There was only one person's limbs that wasn't found.

It was hers... Airi-chan's.