Body/Body

I hate my body.

The way my cheeks sag, how thin my lips are, the purple tint of my hair. These stupid glasses I have to wear. I hate all of it. Unfortunately, some things you can never change. 

I stood in front of the yellow-tinted frame; floating in the middle of the white room and placed my finger right where my heart should be. The image reverberated, causing a ripple effect against the picture and distorting my body. It's how I imagine myself to be anyways. Distorted. According to scientists, we have one of these, a heart that pumps blood to keep us alive. A life that we are supposed to appreciate. 

A sudden buzz sounded off in the room and I stepped away from the holograph and rushed back to my seat.

"Is it okay if I come in?" 

"Yes." 

A man in a lab coat with a shirt and tie underneath instantly appeared right in front of me. I still don't understand the use of doors if you can just teleport. A formality maybe, I don't know. 

"Reia Ozuma? Hi, I'm Dr. Resin. Nice to meet you." He greeted me, although we meet once month for a checkup. 

"Hello."

He put his finger in the air and drew a circle, showing a black still shot of numbers and lines moving back and forth. "Oh, I'm sorry. I didn't ask—would you like me to change the background of the room to make you feel more comfortable?"

"I'm okay." 

Hospital rooms as a standard are set to all white as a default, so everyone can distinguish what's what. Usually, there's a chair, a desk, a sink, holograph mirror and a still image door holding the room together. Otherwise, you could project any image you want, well, except me. 

"Ok. I have your files here and it says that there has been no change to the blood flow, thought-pattern recognition, light projection, image identification system or any other bodily functions." I could see his eyes looking back and forth at me, then the screen, back at me. I know, there's something wrong with me. I know. I'm reminded of it every day.

"How's the treatment that was given to you performing? It should be improving light projection. What was it, 3 light tablets per day of Litholomine?"

"No change, really. I look the same. I feel the same. Can I go now?"

He stared more intensely at the black screen. "Hm. I just don't understand. 1000 years later and we still don't understand Experience. It's hard to believe back then humans died of physical diseases." He quickly caught himself. "Oh, I'm sorry. That was insensitive of me. I didn't mean to-" He smiled nervously, shifting the conversation. 

"And the thoughts your having, are they still—intrusive?"

"Yes. Can I leave?"

He collapsed the black screen with two hands and sighed heavily. They don't understand my body; that makes two of us. 

"I already sent the results to the lab and scheduled your next appointment a month from today. Well, keep wearing your glasses and make sure to take all the required medicine that has been prescribed. See you then. Once again, I'm sorry about my comment, it-"

"It's okay. Don't worry about it." It's not like you'll remember me anyways. 

With a single motion, he drew a line in the air, and I ended up right outside the hospital building, if you could call it that. 

All I could see were pixels until I readjusted my glasses and pressed the top button to activate [light mode]. Without them, my entire vision is blurred due my brain being unable to process the growth acceleration in every object, so they've told me. I wonder if normal people even notice the difference. Normal, huh? 

In the city, streetlights lined up on every block to filter the images. Constantly dispersing light receptors that look like dust particles to connect to the brain matter and project the same one to everybody.  

The sky always remained yellow, complementing the buildings and neon skyscrapers that hung in the sky and the ones that stayed on the ground. It was like a city above a city. As I was walking along the sidewalk, others were floating, air jumping or flying past me. Buildings glitched as they were being updated to the most efficient version, the ground beneath displaying a digital grid that expanded endlessly. I wonder what others see that I can't.

I kept walking down the street, passing by those that chose to walk on ground level. Everyone wore a suit as a dress code, some yellow, green, black, whatever. It was supposedly to prevent image fraud, they say. It was busy around this time; most were getting off work. The streets were crowded, and the neon train ran above ground only, the pink and bright green tracks illuminating from below. I could feel their stares. They're all looking at me. But never interacted with each other. 

Luckily, my apartment wasn't too far from the hospital, only a few blocks. I live on a side street right beneath the main above ground station. You can hear the whistles of the train all night and if you went up to the top of the building, the lights from the city shined below almost like a lamp. 

Apparently, 1000 years ago, there were shiny, floating objects in the distance that were millions of kilometers away that looked like dots in the sky.

Something felt weird. The stares were normal, uncomfortable, even. I couldn't stand them. But it felt different. Heat began to radiate from the back of my head, so I turned around, quickly glancing behind me to see it was nothing. I made a right to hit the corner of the street, and my stomach started to turn. Was it the medicine? I looked behind me again, nothing. People kept floating, jumping, walking beside and above me. I ran my hand along the wall as I rounded the corner, watching my hand turn to pixels and noticed something out of the corner of my eye. Across the street, a guy was leaning on a streetlamp with his hands in his pockets, staring at me. I looked again and he disappeared to the streetlight in front of me, a block straight ahead. Staring at me. Right in front of my apartment. 

I crossed the grid to the left, walking faster, keeping my head straight. I barely turned my head and checked for any side streets I could move towards, hoping he didn't pick me up on his image sensor. Straight ahead, I saw an alleyway and tried to keep my pace even, looking around to see if I saw him anywhere. I reached the alleyway that stretched until the other side of the city below ground. It was lit from the bottom with the green-checkered pattern of the grid, the walls wide enough to fit 10 people. I could see the light waning in the distance on the other side of the alley when he appeared right in front me. 

He stared at me, hands in his pocket. He was bald, with both of his ears covered in metal piercings and wore a dark pair of glasses. He took them off and revealed his violet eyes.

Relax, relax, relax. I open my mouth to speak, but he beat me to it. "Who are you?" 

I didn't reply.

"I said," he stepped towards me, opening his palm and flashed a neon light. "Who are you?"

I turned around, knowing it won't be any use, and there he stood. In front of me; staring at me again. "Who are you? I read no light from you."

I didn't reply again and this time, he gripped my face with one hand and threw me against the wall, making it flicker with pixels. The impact left me on the ground, curled over when he kicked me in the stomach-

"Cugh, cugh." I spat up a puddle of blood, the metallic taste stained my tongue. Was this because of how I looked? Because of the wrinkles on my stomach? The color of my hair? My skin that drooped too low? Maybe he saw it too. 

Everything became blurred and only saw a pixeled silhouette standing above me. I could barely move my body, but I kept patting the ground, searching for my glasses. It all sounded like white noise, a grainy filter buzzing through my ears. I wish I could split this body and be someone else, someone normal.

"These glasses, what are they?" He muffled. I think that is what he said. "Always leaving us in the dark. Everything has to do with Experience. Who the fuck are you? You feel pain, have no light. You would've been smart to go above ground, where they track your light and enforce teleportation laws. But you can't, can you?"

All of a sudden, there was silence. A slow, rhythmic pump of my heart sounded off in my brain. I could hear the blood sloshing through my arteries. It sped up and ran rapid until a gut-wrenching knot clutched my insides, tearing apart each organ shred by shred. 

"AGHHHHHHHHHHH!"

"What the hell?!" the man exclaimed, taking a step back.

I started to regain my vision and saw two men in front of me, two alleyways in front of me and noticed when I flexed my hands, I felt four. 

That was all I remember. 

When I woke up, I was on a cold metal table staring at my body on the one right next to mine.

***