Sexual Horror/Comedy in a Fantasy setting.

Spetlamu, a secluded foggy village in the shadow of a vampire's castle, needs wise and book-learned heroes to solve its problems with shrewd precision. Instead it gets Fabdinus Rutt, a barbaric minotaur whose solution to every problem it to either smash it with his enormous axe or his enormous penis.

The decadent sensuality of the Vampires and the irresistible virility of the Minotaur collide, throwing the community into chaos. Only Tatiana Lever, a simple milkmaid, has the sexual skills and soft breasts that can save the village.
--
The (temporary) cover is an attempt at making Tatiana within the wonderful video game 'She Will Punish Them.'

Prominent Influences include Edward Lee, Monty Python, Carlton Mellick III, Nisio Isin and Hammer Horror.
--
The narrator is Opinionated Omniscient in the style of Dickens, Pratchett or (though it's not quite the same) Snickett. Occasional chapters will dip into the first person.