Jan 06, 2025
An interesting enchancement to be sure, but I would question your decision to call them "genetic enchancements" despite the fact that they are injected into the bloodstream. It's possible I suppose it's some kind of mutagen, but that still makes it a strange decision. Some of the language—'coursing through his veins' mostly—doesn't really scream 'genetic modification.'
However, I have to say, otherwise your writing is quite strong. A fun read, though I'd suggest cutting all of the exposition at the start explaining about what they are. It makes for a much more compelling first chapter when you abandon exposition dumps and simply drop us into Yuki's life the day of his injections. Is he nervous? In what way? How does he try and occupy himself? How does he imagine life will changed? His inner thoughts are far more important to us than knowing objectively what's gonna happen. We can learn about the world later when it's relevant—there's no way Yuki is doing an internal history monologue on the biggest day of his life!
Keep working hard man, exciting work seeing where this story will go!
