Jan 09, 2025

Good lord this is so close to greatness—I mean that with my entire heart. Genuinely. Your synopsis is one of the first to actually hook me, and this first chapter absolutely delivers conceptually. All it needs is some line editing and this is a flawless opening chapter. I would love to offer some editing tips: genuinely this is such an exciting work, it would be an honour to help you refine it. I'm qualified! But your decision completely, of course. Regardless, great work.

Loading...

Loading...

Loading...

Loading...

Loading...

Loading...

0

Jan 03, 2025

To:lolitroy

Godspeed then soldier

Loading...

Loading...

Loading...

Loading...

Loading...

Loading...

1

Jan 03, 2025

Sussy username but a strong first chapter. Avant garde is a stretch lol but you do know how to write, definitely one of the stronger first chapters on this platform! Definitely going to give this one a read :^)

Loading...

Loading...

Loading...

Loading...

Loading...

Loading...

1

Jan 03, 2025

To:Hype

I actually have experience editing. I recently graduated from creative writing at University. If it's something you might be interested in I would be more than happy to give you some more detailed feedback, something like a beta reader? I wouldn't normally offer but I'm a fan of the spirit and idea of this work, I'd love to help you take a further step on your writing journey.

Loading...

Loading...

Loading...

Loading...

Loading...

Loading...

0

Jan 02, 2025

Love the concept but some of the exposition is painfully on the nose. Your characters are really cool—trust that a reader will be interested even if you don't explain everything in the first chapter! (I certainly am!)

Loading...

Loading...

Loading...

Loading...

Loading...

Loading...

1