Don't have an account?
Already a Honeyfeed member?
Bored novelist who can't write... please enjoy my content though.
Jun 16, 2024
To:Bubbles
Hello Bubbles,
I appreciate your comment and critique. To be completely honest, I wasn't expecting this to get that far in the competition. I just happen to come across the competition as I was studying and said, "sure, why not?" I will admit after pondering on the story, it can use a bit of work. I did write it in one sitting and after thinking about it, you are right about the sudden tone and shift at the end. I wouldn't call this a shitpost but more of a one pump chump story. If that makes sense. But I completely understand why shitpost would be appropriate in this case. If you are also in the competition, I wish you good luck and hope you do get far into it.
Thanks, Kae
Jun 25, 2023
To:SomehowOKae
Or lines 3 and 7, if that helps.
To:Syed Al Wasee
Nothing too major, just paragraph 3 and 7. I think for paragraph 3, you can reword that just a tad bit to make it a little clearer for the reader. And then for paragraph 7, it was a little bit of a tongue twister. Nothing wrong with that, it would just be a bit easier to read if you fixed it a little bit.
I'll say that this chapter is very good. Very well written. I was confused about some of the grammar, but aside from that it was a very nice read. I can see why this story is as popular as it is.
Jun 23, 2023
To:sumi_non
I'm glad that it is a good thing as opposed to being a bad thing that our stories are similar. I wasn't really sure where to take this story. And I thank you for the feedback, I will take a look at chapter one again and revise it. And if you have a story yourself, I'd love to read it.
Thank you. I was contemplating combining the intro and Chapter 1. But I thought I would do a Re:Zero/Higurashi-esque introduction with a prologue like that. And of course. I will look at your novel and give honest reviews. I'm sure it's great.
