Jun 17, 2022
This is nice! I can see your writing abilities have improved a LOT! Each chapter has good reading flow and pacing.
Though sometimes there is unnecessary fat Wikipedia vocabulary.
I like that these characters that are portrayed as "monsters" are actually just a manifestation of their personalities.
e.g. The track team cheetah, the bespectacled tentacle monster (Feels like koro-sensei from assassination classroom), or the big BULLY mad dog.
You've transformed clichés with innovation! It's lovely. The dialogue is reasonable and well-fitting too. The characters feel like people! I've read some other novels with horrible pacing, cluttered dialogue/thoughts, and the most contradictory characterization. This is a breath of fresh air.
I look forward to new chapters!
