Sep 06, 2022
To:Deleted User
Thank you so so very much for the feedback it truly does make me happy. One conflicting matter was whether to write in 3rd or 1st person, I thought I would try mixing it (I know it sounds stupid, at least the way I do it) so I tried to make a clean even mix that is noticeable when reading when it’s Shinji thinking and and 3rd person narration. The reason I did that was because as you said, it’s hard for a 10 year old to have a outlook like that, but that’s how I feel most comfortable writing, with defining words etc. if you think I should write in 3rd person I will definitely make an edit though so thank you for helping me with that. And as you noted I did throw the hood fascination in there to try and justify it, I also thought it was quite lazy. It pains me to here that there were grammatical errors, considering I looked over each chapter twice but I’ll keep looking. I also do think I should describe the situation better I was just worried it would drag out the chapters, more specifically the first one. Sorry if I typed to much as a reply I just have no one to ask about this stuff, im not actually use to righting my own material so stuff like this really does help me. If you have any suggestions to fix my few conflicts please tell me so! Thanks
