Jul 03, 2023
To:minatika
Oh wow that's really a good breakdown and analysis, thank you! I do agree with the stiff sentences, I'll try to improve them.
About the contest, i don't really care about it to be honest. I just wanted to post my story so that I had proofed that I wrote it😅
About co writing, what i intended was not to have someone to like do a scheduled thing if that's worry you, I just want someone to give their opinions about the things I write, like from story standpoint. Was the dialogue or reaction unnatural something like that. Although like you said, it's more important to think about the direction of the story, not the technicalities of it. I think that is the main reason why I haven't really progressed in writing, I write to practice my story telling because i do believe 50% of a story is how the plot itself is presented.
Thanks for reading my story and for everything including the analysis! I will soon read yours, even tho I might be commenting a lot in technical sides 😅
Example there was a story where a girl was brought inside the house of a jobless guy (you know the Higehiro type of stories) then when the girl woke up inside of the guy house, a simple line of "dont worry, i didn't do anything" made the girl relaxed... For some reason?!
I think that he's just being lazy and wasting a lot of potential.
Might be the same when I read yours, but I think you're a lot more diligent with your work, you actually posted 10+ chapters too
