Nov 04, 2023
Thank you for the constructive criticism :0
Especially on the alignments- i wanted to highlight the importance of each text in some way ( the left sides being general text, the right being monologues and the center being extra important ) but I didn’t think about how it’d be a strain to the readers’ eyes at all.
For the main character saying that she’ll self harm to Thanatos, I wanted to express in some way that she had a one track mind (how her heart was set on joining him after her friend finally left) I didn’t realise that it’d be tacky , but looking back on my writing I think her actions will be enough to express her mindset
IM ALSO really thankful for you pointing out on my despondence to the words Eros & Thanatos !!! Originally I wanted to use the words “ life & death “ but my mind told me to stick to the to the theme in some way .Since it’s a bad look to the point where a reader notices it then I’ll be happy to change back and stick to my initial idea!!
it’s my first time writing a novel so the way I write is just the way I text (this is an indirect way of me saying that the ellipses, pronunciation and monologues are hopeless to fix in a short time-especially when nov 5th hits in a few hours for my side of the world) So even though my entry’s fucked- it’s not entirely fucked thanks to your commentary !!! With these few hours left I’ll fix what I can, and keep your words in special regard for my next writing, so thank you again !!!!
