Jul 01, 2026
Alright. You said that expect the unexpected, and it surely IS unexpected. I really liked this chapter. When you personally told me about the story in the classroom I wasn't sure about how it would land. But reading this, I can say you did a good job.
A few flaws I noticed were:
Awkward sound-to-word usage. Like while breathing heavily, one would write it as "Huff... Huff..." Of "Hmph... Hmph...".
Your "Hmm... Hmm..." Felt a little out of place here.
And secondly, spacing. As a Honeyfeed author myself, I've also experienced the spacing problem while I copy-paste my work from Google docs to here. But what you can do is just remove one space from between each paragraph, and you'll be good to go!
Overall, nice work for your first time writing. One thing I must mention is that don't rely too much on AI for grammatical correction. Cz then, you'll not be able to improve your own grammar and just depend on AI for it.
Use AI, but also learn with it. Don't let AI replace you. Try to fix your mistakes yourself in the future.
Because remember. As your MC progresses down the story, so do you.
I was not so good at writing when I first started my scrapped project (The Doomsday Chronicles). Heck, I couldn't even write a proper selection arc! And now, as you've read in my draft notebook, I've written some of the best action and regret sequences.
So in a Novel/story, the author has to walk WITH the Mc in every step and improve himself with the story as well.
All the best for your future~! 🔥
