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Jul 29, 2026
Be consistent, I see you have a good plot here. So, don't mix the details here, make distinction while switching in between characters and scenes.
My only advice: You are going too fast, just make the pacing a little bit slower.
Jun 21, 2026
And here... you totally went off the track. No reasoning, no cause-effect cycle, no mystery, no drama, just bluntness. You started better, but for readers, this isn't urging to go any further.
It is quite a time since I saw someone's writing using old-novel classic style. You tried to use it, but it isn't that good. I appreciate your effort, trying to imitate that.
Dec 20, 2025
To:Just a reader
Very soon... and Thank you
Dec 09, 2025
As a beginner author, it is good to start somewhere. Meanwhile, you should also focus on improving your grammar and tenses, as it will help you out a lot while getting broader and better audience.
