Sep 18, 2021
This was a pretty good start to the story. Your descriptiveness and choice of words makes this a lot more fun to read compared to some of the other novels on the site!
The creatures in the beginning creeped me out a little 🤣 However, I'd like to learn more about why the protagonist got stuck in this world, and so I think I'll keep reading! Interesting read, seriously.
I don't have a web novel or anything like that, but maybe some tips I can give you for improving this include: fixing up some of the grammar (not really things like spelling, but more so the structuring and formatting of sentences and paragraphs), and I think you should maybe describe the characters' appearances a little more so that the reader can visualize them a little better (I noticed that you did add slight descriptions for them, but things like the style of their hair, facial features, etc. would definitely enhance the reading experience!). Obviously, this was written quickly, perhaps because you're entered in that one MAL contest? If so, I wish you luck! It'd be cool to see this an an anime or something like that 😄
