The Mop... It Tickles...

Nezumi dragged a folded futon from her closet.

"Here, you can sleep on this," she said, spreading it on the floor beside her bed.

"Analysis: bed dimensions indicate sufficient space for two occupants if optimal arrangement is achieved."

Nezumi froze mid-spread. "Wha-"

"Calculating..." Cleansuke stood up. "If bodies are positioned at 45-degree angles with 73% physical contact, maximum space efficiency can be achieved through cuddling protocols."

"C-cuddling…?"

"Affirmative. Would you like a demonstration?"

Cleansuke moved toward her with arms outstretched. Nezumi scrambled backward.

"No! No demonstrations!" She waved her hands frantically. "The futon is fine!"

"Query: why reject efficient solution? Temperature regulation would improve by 27% through shared body heat."

"That's not- I mean-" Nezumi clutched a penguin plushie to her chest. "I'll take the futon!"

"Illogical. Guest should receive optimal sleeping surface."

"Nope! Ground is great! Love the ground!" Nezumi dove into the futon, yanking the covers up to her chin. "See? Super comfy!"

"Very well. Initiating sleep mode." Cleansuke laid down on the bed, straight as a board, arms crossed over chest like a vampire.

Nezumi peeked over the edge of the futon. "Do you... always sleep like that?"

"Position ensures maximum spinal alignment."

"Right..." Nezumi buried herself deeper in the covers.

A couple minutes passed before Nezumi rolled onto her side to face my body.

"Hey... I was thinking... about our date..." She twisted a strand of hair around her finger. "Where should we go?"

"Processing date location parameters."

"Option one: waste management facility. Exceptional organization of recyclables. Very romantic."

Nezumi stifled a laugh. "You can't be serious."

"Option two: industrial laundromat. Steam creates atmospheric moisture."

"Those are literally both cleaning-related!" She threw her pillow at my body.

"Option three: sewage treatment-"

"Stop!" Nezumi sat up, hugging her knees. "What about... Sakana Land?"

"Aquarium exhibits require constant maintenance. Acceptable venue."

Nezumi buried her face in her covers and let out a muffled squeal.

"Alert: unusual vocal patterns detected."

"No, no, I'm fine!" 

"Data inconclusive. Heart rate elevated 47% above baseline."

Nezumi peeked out from her fabric fortress, cheeks flushed pink. "Really, I'm okay. Just... excited about the aquarium."

"Query: excitement causes face concealment?"

"Sometimes!" She flopped back onto her pillow, still clutching the covers tight. "It's a girl thing. Don't worry about it."

Cleansuke laid back down in its perfect geometric position. "Noted: will research correlation between feminine behavior and textile-based sound suppression."

Nezumi rolled onto her side, a small smile playing at her lips. "Goodnight, Shiku."

"Initiating nighttime protocols. Goodnight, Nezumi."

I watched from my position by the window as both Nezumi and Cleansuke settled into silence. Part of me had been terrified this sleepover would turn into something more intimate - the kind of scenario straight out of Yuriko's doujins. But instead, Cleansuke's literal interpretation of everything had actually helped Nezumi open up.

My cleaning protocols urged me to straighten the thrown pillow and adjust the crooked futon, but I forced myself to remain still. I was yet again grateful for Cleansuke's mechanical approach to things. The night ended peacefully, with only the soft sound of Nezumi's breathing filling the room.

-

My visual sensors flickered online as movement caught my attention. Through Nezumi's window, I watched Cleansuke carefully extracting itself from her bed. It was trying to sneak out.

"Mmm... Shiku..." Nezumi mumbled in her sleep, rolling over. "Don't clean there..."

Cleansuke froze mid-step, analyzing Nezumi's sleep patterns before continuing its careful exit. It straightened Nezumi's blanket, tucking in the corners with practiced efficiency.

"Processing morning departure protocols," Cleansuke whispered, retrieving my school bag. "Minimal noise generation required."

Nezumi stirred again, her face flushed. "The mop... it tickles..."

What kind of dream was she having?

I watched as Cleansuke slipped on my shoes and performed one final sweep of the room, probably cataloging potential cleaning tasks for later. Then it ghosted through the door with surprising stealth.

My robotic form automatically tracked Cleansuke's movement as it navigated through Nezumi's house and out the front door. The morning cleaning schedule was already trying to activate, but I fought against the urge to polish the sidewalk as my body walked past.

"Initiating return route to Tanaka residence," Cleansuke announced quietly to itself, heading down the empty street as the sun began to rise.

I continued following my body through the quiet morning streets when a bizarre shadow passed overhead. Looking up, I spotted what could only be described as a flying mechanical cow - complete with udders that seemed to function as propellers.

"Psst! Shiku!" Gomi's voice crackled through a speaker on the drone.

"What in the-"

"Need your help with something. Come to my house?" The drone did a little spin, its udders twirling.

"I'm kind of busy stalking myself right now."

"Already got that covered. Got a tracker on Cleansuke. Well, on your body. Well, technically on your underwear."

"You put a tracker in my underwear?!"

"Hey, how else was I supposed to get blackmail material?"

"That's not the point! When did you even-"

"Remember last week when I helped with laundry?"

"You mean when you shrunk all my favorite shirts?"

"Yeah that was totally on purpose to distract you from the tracker thing."

I miss face-palming so bad. "You're unbelievable."

"So... you coming or what? Cleansuke's just heading home to change clothes anyway. Nothing exciting."

I glanced at my retreating body. Gomi had a point - Cleansuke seemed to be following its morning routine perfectly. And the meet-up with Reiko wasn't until much later...

"Fine. But this better be important."

"Hurray!" The cow drone did a little dance. "Also, fair warning - might need to dodge Mom's new security system. She's really into laser grids lately."

"Laser what now?"

"Race you there!" The drone zoomed off, its tiny udders swaying in the wind.

I sighed and activated my wheels, following the bovine robot. Whatever Gomi needed help with, at least it would be more interesting than watching Cleansuke organize my closet for the fifth time this week.