Cardboard Box with Googly Eyes

I stared at the web of red lasers crisscrossing Gomi's front yard. Her mom had really outdone herself this time.

"Analysis mode activated," my robot brain chirped helpfully. "Detecting twenty-seven separate laser grids with varying intensities."

"Gomi, a little help here?"

"Oh right." Gomi tossed down what looked like a small remote from her window. "Mom's override. Just don't tell her I took it."

The lasers powered down and I scuttled inside, following Gomi up to her room. The place was its usual disaster zone of half-finished inventions and scattered components.

"So what's the big emergency?" I asked, dodging a precariously balanced tower of circuit boards.

Gomi spun around in her chair, grinning. "I did it! Well, almost did it. Made major progress on the reverse brain smoothie!"

"Seriously? You can switch us back?"

"Yup. But I need an important part. There's this specific neural interface converter they sell at Tekai Tech in the Pika-Pika Mall."

"Why don't you just go buy it yourself?" My robot eye zoomed in on Gomi as she rummaged through a pile of junk.

"Can't. Got banned last month. Remember the message chairs incident?"

"Oh god. When you reprogrammed them to give aggressive back rubs?"

"Those chairs needed more personality!" Gomi defended, pulling out a cardboard box. "Besides, how was I supposed to know people would get launched across the mall?"

"What are you doing?" I watched her stick googly eyes on the box.

"Making your disguise." She held up her creation proudly. "Ta-da! Now you can sneak into the mall without anyone realizing you're a school robot."

"You can't be serious."

"What? It's genius!" She placed it over my head. The eyes rattled with each movement. "See? Now you're just a cute DIY robot. No one will suspect a thing."

"How exactly am I supposed to buy anything looking like this? I can barely see through these eye holes."

"No no, you don't buy it. We get Cleansuke to buy it."

"Are you insane?" The cardboard box fell off as I jerked back. "Have you seen how Cleansuke's been acting in my body? Yesterday it tried to reorganize the entire convenience store's shelving system!"

"Yeah but think about it - Cleansuke's got your wallet, your student ID, everything needed to make the purchase."

"It also has my reputation!" I paced in circles, my metal feet clicking against the floor. "Remember what happened at the Dai-Bōku match? Or that disaster with Nezumi? Or-"

"Or how about when it carried Reiko to the nurse's office while humming that stupid cleaning song?"

"Not helping! Besides, how would we even convince it to go to the mall?"

"Easy." Gomi held up her phone. "Look at all these dust analysis reports from the mall's public data. The place is filthy by Cleansuke's standards."

"But-"

"And check out these maintenance logs showing irregular cleaning patterns in the electronics section..."

I groaned as my robot brain automatically started processing the cleaning inefficiencies. "Stop that! You're triggering the protocols!"

"Anyway, it's our best shot." Gomi tossed the cardboard box back at me. "Unless you want to stay a cleaning bot forever?"

"Fine. But we need a better disguise than this."

"Already on it!" Gomi pulled out what looked like a frilly maid costume sized for a robot. "Ta-da!"

"...I take it back. The box was better."

-

I crept up to my house, the cardboard box rattling with each step. Through gaps in the crude eyeholes, I watched Cleansuke meticulously dusting every surface in the living room.

I connected to the house's network and pinged the cleaning notification system. A red alert flashed across all screens: "URGENT: Major cleaning emergency detected at Pika-Pika Mallplex. Multiple spills in electronics section. Debris accumulating near Tekai Tech storefront."

Cleansuke froze mid-dust. My body's eyes widened as they scanned the alert.

"Analyzing situation. Pika-Pika Mallplex cleaning staff operating at 47% efficiency. Unacceptable. Must intervene."

I watched through the window as Cleansuke carefully placed the feather duster in its designated holder, straightened my uniform, and headed for the door.

"Implementing emergency cleaning protocols," Cleansuke declared, marching past me without a second glance. "Estimated time to mall: 23 minutes at optimal walking speed."

I trailed behind at a distance as Cleansuke power-walked toward the mall, occasionally stopping to pick up stray pieces of litter or straighten crooked signs along the way. My cleaning protocols kept trying to make me join in, but I forced myself to stay focused on the mission.

Cleansuke eventually strides into the mall's main entrance, already scanning for cleaning inefficiencies. My circuits nearly shorted when I spotted Yuriko lurking behind a potted plant.

Oh no. No no no.

Yuriko hesitated, shifting from foot to foot, before squaring her shoulders and approaching Cleansuke. "Um, Tanaka-san..."

Cleansuke turned. "Analyzing... Tsukumo Yuriko detected. Romance practice session not scheduled until Monday at 12:00."

"I-I know, but..." Yuriko glanced around the empty entrance. "Since you're alone, maybe we could..."

"Current priority: Address critical cleaning situation at Tekai Tech. Romance protocols temporarily suspended."

"Oh... you're going to Tekai Tech?"

"Affirmative. Store displays require immediate reorganization. Multiple fingerprints detected on demo devices."

"I could come with you! Maybe we could... discuss more story ideas while you clean?"

"Analyzing suggestion... Multiple tasks could be completed simultaneously. Efficient use of time."

"Really? I've been working on this new scene where-"

"However, romance protocols must remain deactivated until cleaning emergency resolved."

"That's fine!" Yuriko fell into step beside my body as Cleansuke marched toward the electronics store. "I just want to observe."

My cooling fans buzzed in distress, the sound muffled by the confines of the cardboard box. This was not part of the plan. How was I supposed to get Cleansuke to buy the neural converter with Yuriko lurking around? And of course, knowing her, she'd probably turn this whole disaster into prime material for her next doujin. Just perfect.