Tongue Inspection

From my cardboard hideout behind a display of smart watches, I watched Cleansuke grab cleaning supplies from beneath the counter, much to the confusion of a Tekai Tech employee.

"Analyzing surface contamination... 67% of devices show excessive fingerprint residue." My body's eyes scanned methodically across the store. "Beginning systematic sanitization protocol."

Yuriko trailed behind. "So, um, about what happened yesterday with Nezumi..."

"Current task: Removing fingerprints from tablet displays. Romance discussion temporarily suspended."

"But you're dating now, right?"

Cleansuke sprayed disinfectant on a microfiber cloth. "Relationship status: Confirmed. Parameters established. No unauthorized carrying permitted."

"And what about Reiko? There are rumors about the nurse's office too..."

"Kuromiya Reiko requires periodic maintenance due to irregular sleep patterns. Additional monitoring necessary."

"So you're not interested in her romantically?"

"Processing query..." Cleansuke paused mid-wipe. "Romance protocols currently allocated to Nezumi Myoga. Multiple simultaneous romantic entanglements would reduce operational efficiency by 43.7%."

Yuriko opened her mouth to protest, but the store manager's shuffling footsteps cut her off.

"Oh my, what's all this?" The old lady adjusted her glasses, peering at the gleaming displays. "I've never seen the store so spotless!"

"Completion of primary cleaning protocols at 89.4%," my body announced, still methodically wiping down a row of smartwatches.

"Such dedicated young people!" The manager clasped her hands together. "Is there anything I can offer you in return, dearies?"

From my cardboard hideout, I calculated my next move. The manager's generosity was the perfect opening, but how could I get Cleansuke to ask for the specific part without revealing myself?

I shifted my robotic body, knocking over a display of charging cables. The clatter drew everyone's attention.

"Detecting maintenance requirement." Cleansuke's head snapped toward the fallen items. "Initiating cleanup sequence."

As my body bent to organize the cables, I activated my built-in cleaning melody - an annoyingly catchy tune that all cleaning robots were programmed to recognize. Cleansuke's movements stuttered mid-reach.

"Secondary cleaning unit detected. Analyzing harmonics... Maintenance support required."

"Oh my, there's another cleaning robot?" The manager peered around.

"Affirmative. Unit requires neural interface converter model X-750 for optimal functionality."

I hummed louder, adding a specific sequence that indicated critical system status.

"Status critical. Request immediate procurement of part."

"A broken cleaning robot? Well, we can't have that, deary." The manager shuffled behind the counter. "After such wonderful service, please take this converter. On the house!"

Yuriko blinked. "Wait, what just happened?"

"Processing gift acceptance." Cleansuke took the part. "Gratitude protocols activated."

I cut off my humming and slunk deeper into my cardboard fortress, watching Cleansuke pocket the part that Gomi needed.

"Most efficient outcome."

Yuriko fidgeted with her sleeve as Cleansuke finished wiping down the last display case.

"Hey, since we're here... there's this new ramen place I've been wanting to try. Would you like to grab lunch?"

"Analyzing schedule... Lunch break authorized within current parameters. Caloric intake recommended for optimal functionality."

I trailed behind them as they left Tekai Tech, offering a quick wave to the store manager on their way out. My robotic form pressed against the mall's decorative plants. Yuriko led the way, occasionally glancing back at Cleansuke with that writer's gleam in her eyes. I'd seen that look before - she was definitely collecting material for her next story.

"The reviews say their chashu is amazing. And they have these cute little robot waiters!"

"Query: Are these service units aesthetically superior to current form?"

Yuriko's cheeks flushed. "N-no, of course not! You're... um... c-cuter."

"Aesthetic superiority confirmed. Proceeding to ramen establishment."

They entered "Noods Galore," a sleek restaurant where tiny wheeled robots zipped between tables carrying steaming bowls. I needed to get inside, but the host-bot would never let a cleaning unit through the front door.

I scanned the building's exterior until I spotted it - a maintenance access panel. Perfect.

Sneaking around back, I connected to the restaurant's service network. These waiter-bots ran on the same basic framework as cleaning units. A few tweaks to my broadcast signature and...

Access granted: Maintenance Mode

I rolled through the kitchen, past bewildered chefs, and onto the main floor. The other robots acknowledged me with simple pings, accepting me as part of their network.

Cleansuke and Yuriko sat in a corner booth. I positioned myself at a nearby charging station, pretending to power up while eavesdropping.

Yuriko started slurping her noodles but suddenly winced.

"Temperature warning detected." Cleansuke's eyes locked onto Yuriko. "Initiating first aid protocols."

"I-it's fine, really—" Yuriko started, but Cleansuke had already slid around the booth.

"Tongue inspection required. Please extend for analysis."

"W-what? Here? In public?"

"Affirmative. Burns must be assessed immediately to prevent tissue damage."

Before Yuriko could protest further, Cleansuke grabbed her chin with one hand. "Open mouth. Medical inspection imminent."

"Mmph!" Yuriko squeaked as my body leaned in close, those piercing yellow eyes focused entirely on her mouth.

"Temperature reading indicates mild scalding. Additional proximity required for thorough examination."

The waiter-bots zipped past our table, completely oblivious to the scene unfolding. Several nearby diners weren't so unaware - they stared openly as my body tilted Yuriko's face up.

"P-people are watching!" Yuriko managed to squeak out.

"Irrelevant. Safety protocols take priority over social conventions."

That did it. Yuriko yanked free from Cleansuke's grip and bolted for the door, nearly colliding with a robot carrying a tray of gyoza.

"Subject has fled before medical inspection could be completed. Most inefficient." Cleansuke muttered, his yellow eyes narrowing in calculation as he pulled out my wallet.

"Payment protocols must be executed before pursuit. Initiating rapid transaction sequence."

A waiter-bot zipped over with the bill. Cleansuke, already a step ahead, extended exact change.

A nearby diner froze mid-bite, their jaw dropping as Cleansuke vaulted over their table, scattering chopsticks in every direction. "What the—?" they sputtered, but Cleansuke was already gone.

"Direct route calculated. Estimated speed required: 13.7 kilometers per hour. Pursuing subject: Tsukumo Yuriko."