Intermission Pt. 2

(Clarine)

It’s been a while since I’ve just been able to rest on my own time. Fence usually has me checking on some rookie or the mayor has me sitting through those boring-ass meetings signing papers. Some cozy time in my bedroom is more than warranted.

At least that’s what I would be able to say if it weren’t for some pesky idiot at my door. That’s it, I’m telling Fence that he can manage the rookies on his own. He’s been doing this for three years now. It’s about time he learns to take initiative.

My body moved like sludge towards the door. I truly had no interest in being active in any capacity, right now. When I opened the door, I was surprised to see someone even worse than Fence, somehow. It was Rocco.

I shrugged annoyingly, “Yeah, what do you want?”

“I was just in the area, I wanted to see how you were holding up-”

“Oh, come on, what’s with you, Rocco? There’s no world where we need to be making small talk. Look, I understand that you’re probably a lot better now but I have absolutely zero interest in doing anything recreational with you on any level.”

I believed that and had no intention of giving in to any pleas if he had any. Rocco has changed. It’s easy to tell that he’s not the immature fool he used to be. Did he change for the world or did the world change him?

Rocco tilted his neck. “Yeah, no, you’re right. I’m sorry about that, but I also didn’t come here for no reason either. The kid’s dad wants to see us. This Edwin guy. I don’t know much about him but apparently he chose me to be the kid’s backup for his first scavenging mission. I imagined he’d have done it himself had it not been for his business here. I’m not sure why he chose me but the kid is nice…”

I walked back into my room and sat on a couch. “Yeah, they’re nice but Edwin told us to not follow protocol and report what is likely the biggest scavenging find in the history of the world to the mayor and the surface-recovery program. Nice people are nice, but that doesn’t mean they’re good.”

“The kid is good…”

“What?”

“I said, the kid is good. I ain’t known him all that long but he’s not like the rest of those stupid meatshield rookies they throw at us all the time. He sees a world that nobody else does and he wants to bring it to life. Isn’t that the essence of what we do? I don’t know much about his old man either, but if Edwin could raise a kid like that, surely he’s not all that bad himself. For now, I’ll trust him.”

I sighed, “And he wants to see us now?”

Rocco nodded. “It seemed important enough that he wanted you to bring your boys as well.”

“Even Masir? No disrespect, but out on the surface, that kid isn’t worth a single damn.”

He shrugged. “Well, it wouldn’t hurt to have the extra manpower.”

Tch, I could name a few ways it would but I didn’t feel like getting snappy, especially not with Rocco.

“Alright, give me a couple of minutes to get sorted and we’ll meet with him.”

Every time I get an inch towards my day off, something always gets in my way… I could already tell Edwin’s going to ask us to go on a scavenging mission of sorts. If the kid really did talk to Lars and he has a solo expedition coming up tomorrow, I can already imagine where all this is going. Why does the stupidity of others always have to be my downfall?!

I took a deep breath and did my best to remain composed. Surely, someone else out there has it far worse than I do…

…

(Fence)

Oh man, these past couple of days have been a doozy. I’m supposed to visit my father in Flinholf next week but with Edwin’s kid being some kind of fire-freak, I have to stay here with Clarine until she dismisses me.

In all honesty, Edwin’s son seems alright. He was able to make Clarine open up in front of us. I didn’t know her past was full of such hardship.

My mother always told me how difficult it was for her and my father to care for me considering that I was born right as the conversion began. Becoming a respected scavenger was the least I could do for them, but now I hardly ever get to see them.

I remember every insult the kids in school called me and how they would taunt me for my abnormal size. My parents, despite both being marginally smaller, always loved me. They told me that being as big as I am not only made me stronger than others, it gave them more of me to love. My mother’s seventieth birthday is approaching next week. Hopefully, Clarine gives me clearance to take a couple of weeks off.

I’m grateful for everything I have and I know it’s a bit selfish to ask for anything anymore. To have one of the most respected jobs in the world, loving parents, a nice leader, and not to mention this cushiony room in Ylvona’s castle! It’s just… I want to see my parents again. It’s been over a year since I’ve had any time off. Ylvona has always been keeping us busy since Mayor Cliffton was elected into office. It almost made me appreciate the other candidates who didn’t seem keen on scavengers… almost.

I wonder how big Alina has grown since I’ve last seen her. My brother says he isn’t overfeeding her but I don’t trust him not to spoil his daughter. I still remember how Daryl would bring me to Snickonalds with a stack of cash that he would pickpocket from the richest-looking pedestrian he could find. He said when I was old enough, he’d teach me how to pickpocket as well but when we realized how big I was getting, that career path never went anywhere, and thank God for it.

Scavenging is fun, but my family is where my heart lies. I do everything for those who have shown me love. People think I’m dumb and scary. Hell, even Edwin’s kid looked at me like that, but I can’t blame them. This is the body God has given me, this is my trial and I find respite in the relationships I have. Even now, I can't be comforted by those I love. I hold out one more day, every day until I can see them again…

...

(Masir)

Phew, I survived my first expedition! That was terrifying. My lord and her big companion seemed to have it in for me since the beginning. This wonderful castle and all its amenities are awesome. This bedroom has about just everything anyone could ever ask for…

If this is what lies ahead for the life of a scavenger, maybe it is possible for me to get used to this… Then again, this expedition couldn’t have been normal by any means. That kid we found was on fire! He managed to shoot both Fence and me. His battle IQ seemed awfully sharp for someone who’s also a rookie. Ignoring the fact that he’s surface-resistant, he still outclasses me despite being the exact same rank.

Goddammit, I told Risa that I would enroll in the scavenger program for myself. My loving wife couldn’t stand seeing me bend the knee to the world at every corner. I thought she was happy with a husband who’d dote on her every second of every day with nothing else in store. The riches from my family name are more than enough to sustain us both so when she told me that my timidness and fear of everything was holding me back from having fun in life, perhaps I took things a bit too far by applying to become a scavenger.

It made me extremely happy though. Risa would come to every one of my training sessions and even though I was consistently the worst-performing cadet, she would always cheer me on like nobody else. She’d make all sorts of snacks and bring them over any time we had a break.

At some point, I started to feel like none of it was worth it. Everything about training hurt so much. I loved Risa for giving me boundless amounts of support and my father was a marine in the old world so he was proud to hear that I was trying to become a scavenger. But he also made it very clear that if it didn’t feel like the right thing for me, he would completely understand.

I’m blessed to have all these people around me who are constantly cheering me on to become the best version of myself and accepting me regardless of where I decide to go, yet, it’s that exact sense of complacency in my identity that has kept me so fragile and weak for all my life…

I told Risa after a month of training that I was ready to let this go. Being a scavenger just wasn’t in the cards for me. I expected her to tell me to keep going or to do my best and soon the hard part would be over. Instead, she told me that she loved me anyways. Risa doesn’t know about this but I took a walk that night and cried plenty.

I’m surrounded by decent people but that’s the thing, they’re just decent. I have no right to complain about them by any means. They have never hurt me and would never try to intentionally. Yet, it doesn’t seem like any of them care for me as a person either. They’ll tell me to try new things and to experience life but the second I face any sort of resistance, they say it’s okay to back out and not go back. I don’t want that! I want them to tell me to tough it out and become stronger. God, I sound so selfish…

The lord of the fiery kid, what was his name? Rocco, right? He seemed to understand my predicament during the conversation we had on our way back to the elevator. Talking with him while hovering was a magical experience. He was the first person to call me an idiot for suggesting that this career wasn’t a good fit for me. I was actually mad at him in the moment. He was telling me all about how it was stupid to become a scavenger with no clear purpose but that’s exactly what I needed someone to tell me.

I have no purpose. I live life just to be alive and die like any other rich kid out there. From this day on, I won’t allow that. I pulled my fists together and took a deep breath. From this day forward, no matter how severe of a challenge life throws me, I’ll learn to face it bravely, even if I don’t want to. Risa and my parents will be proud of me either way. They’ll be surprised to see I’ve become this strong and celebrate endlessly, but more importantly, I’ll be able to see what they see in me as well.

I hope I get to embark on another expedition with my Lord soon…