Winners and Losers Pt. 3

 (Lars)

God fucking dammit! I fell for that old man’s words… I should have known he was lying from the beginning. Why do I keep deluding myself in hopes that anyone can understand me? Every time I get close to thinking there’s a possibility that people can bring out some hidden part of me, they always choose to prove me wrong in the eleventh hour…

There’s no time to dwell on my naivete. Three walkers are approaching from all sides. Luckily, the one side I need to be open is open. I rubbed the blood from my face and jumped off the building. The elegant swan dive I performed was an insult to my being. It felt oxymoronic.

A large part of my soul craved suicide at all times. In a way, these giant leaps that filled me with adrenaline would temporarily grant my spirit the grace of that action.

The walkers screeched with a gurgling that almost sounded like lava bubbling. It was hard to tell where exactly the sounds were coming from on their bodies. They sure weren’t happy though.

My fall past the walkers proved meandering at best. Although they took their time to get up there, it would only take them about a second to jump down to the ground. It’s not like I didn’t think of this though. In fact, it was part of my plan.

All my plans were full of some brainy twists that hardly anyone else could conceive. My mind was full of these special capabilities that existed outside of the worst parts of myself. It must have been God’s way of spiting me for being born broken.

Before the end of my fall, I deployed the rapid air catcher from my bag. Most people in the old world knew them as jump bags. These devices were often used by firefighters and police to catch people jumping off buildings or any other height-related scenario. They were often used to prevent people from committing suicide.

I had no time to compose myself. Rolling out of the air catcher was the very first thing I did and then looking for the gun I threw off this side of the building was next. It couldn’t have gone far since my throw didn’t have a lot of strength behind it. It didn’t take long for me to spot it.

When I picked it up, the battery was noticeably depleted. It seems it was left on when thrown off the building. There should still be about one more hour of juice in this thing, however. At the very least, it’ll let me deal with these guys…

The walkers jumped down and the force of their fall made the ground shake. Their screeches turned into roars that mimicked the sound of freighter ship horns. The noise seemed to make everything around us shake as well. Pebbles and rubble began to vibrate. Any normal person would fall over but someone of my stature wasn’t easily fazed. My back was against the building and the walkers were coming in from every direction. I truly had no place to go. Was this the end for me?

The first walker I ever killed was an infant. It didn’t reach a hostile stage. The doctors of Flinholf asked me to examine its genetic structure so they would be able to further understand how those walkers developed into adulthood. They would then use that information to construct methods of combat against their species. Not that it mattered to me at all. I was just glad that I got to kill something, so young at that.

Soon, I came to realize it wasn’t just animals. They were experimenting on humans as well. Turns out there were these humans that have been genetically modified since the year 2000. Their sole purpose was to see how high their resistance to fire could be. Most of them didn’t end up doing so well. They all burnt to bits and their corpses were analyzed meticulously. If anyone needed any more proof that Y2K being planned wasn’t a conspiracy but rather a reality, this would do it.

That was when I realized that none of these doctors or scientists gave a damn about life. To them, progress was more important. Progress towards what? Humanity being back on the surface? No, that couldn’t be it. These fiery humans were created long before the effects of Y2K began to show…

Everyone acts as if the nature of man will change if we can somehow get back up to the surface. Acting as if we weren’t always this tainted. To reach the surface is to be happy again.

If it were in the name of happiness, they would justify killing countless creatures and experimenting on innocent human lives. I’m not one to point fingers. After all, what I do is essentially the same. But at least I have the decency to acknowledge it. The accountability to know the weight of my actions. If you’re going to hurt others for your own happiness, don’t act like you’re any better than a man like me.

Well, it was the end of the line. In the old world and this one, it seemed like humanity would be doomed to be a race of hypocrites without a sliver of beauty among them.

With the gun in my hand, I shot at the walker to my right. It used eight of its legs to treat the wound, and in that opening, I jumped onto it and began shooting as I ran and then began to hover over its body. The force of the bullets propelled me a couple of feet into the air which gave me extra speed. Its legs reacted to every single shot but were barely slow enough for me to outpace them. The critter ended up stabbing itself countless times with its own legs on top of the bullets I already used to kill it. That poor bastard didn’t stand a chance.

This is still a biological research mission so I should pick up some of its carcass to bring back to Ylvona. Not yet though. There are still two more of these guys and they seem angry that their friend was slain… Friend? What if they were related? What if these were a family of walkers that just expected to find a meal somewhere in the city?

The beauty of it all comes from life and death. You can exist at any one moment believing there is nothing to worry about, and then the next it can all come crashing down on you. It’s inevitable. People who try to avoid these situations often end up in them the most. A bad day will only become worse if you haven’t expected it.

These last two walkers would be the easiest to deal with. In a hostile state like this, all I had to do was maneuver behind this one. Its legs shot up in the air like those inflatables I’d see in car dealerships back in the old world. They seemed so fragile when wiggling around. It made their instant transition into solid force all the scarier when it struck its legs at me. Unfortunately for this guy, he was too slow and I managed to dodge every single one of his attacks until I ended up right behind him.

With the perfect positioning, I ducked down and shot the walker in front of him. It took a couple of its legs to the bullet wound to treat it as expected, but to further satisfy my expectations, it thought that the walker in front of it somehow attacked. They began fighting each other vigorously and their legs would consume each other’s bodies. Even if one of them were to make it out alive, it’d be gravely injured and pose no threat whatsoever.

You walkers aren’t so different from us. Existing to serve yourselves and becoming upset when things don’t go your way. You lose people, you lose status, power, and love.

If we cannot share everything, how can we ensure the happiness and safety of all? That’s the thing, isn’t it? We can’t.

In life, there will always be winners and losers. Half the time if not most of the time, it isn’t even fair. Winners usually don’t do anything special to be deserving of victory. This world is a constant stream of coincidences and inevitabilities that humanity plays second fiddle to.

Hard work, accomplishments, dreams, goals? Those don’t mean a single thing. I’ve experienced all of it and not a single lick of it brought me any sense of real happiness. That’s how they trick you into serving the happiness of others. They tell you to keep your head down and do what’s best for your family, and what’s best for the world around you. You’ll become a part of something. You’ll feel like you belong. What a bunch of crap.

I thought I’d be in the clear but before I knew it, there were almost thirty walkers in the distance. They seemed to be approaching the apartment building where the group was. Rocco likely went there as well. These walkers seemed to be from all different species. They were likely attracted to Bane.

As someone who knows what it’s like to be rejected by humanity for simply being who you are, I felt compelled to tell Bane about how the Scavenger Lords work to keep humanity underground. There is no surface to return to in their minds. It’s all one big ploy to keep everyone complacent in the chase for a better future. This is balance, huh?

Part of me hopes Bane can make it out. I held no malice towards him. If it were up to me, we wouldn’t even be here, now. I think I just felt lonely for a little while. Those old man’s words must’ve struck a nerve whether I liked it or not.

I took a final look at the walkers eating each other alive as well as the barrage of them heading towards Bane and his crew. If you survive, maybe the future will hold more in store for us. Until then, I’m heading back home…