Agents and Protagonists Pt. 1

The flight back to the elevator was demeaning. Lars carrying me back to safety was the juxtaposition of this entire mission. He was the better man in the end. No, better isn’t the right word. He was the smarter man. A man with capabilities that hardly any human being could measure up to. The fact that my body and mind couldn’t counter any of his plans, let alone comprehend them, just goes to show how far apart we are.

This truce that we agreed to wasn’t the result of a careful negotiation or combating a common enemy, it was simply his messed-up sense of generosity that I latched onto like a baby begging for its mother.

While carrying me, his hands tended to wander.

“I know I lost to you, but that doesn’t give you the right to do whatever you want with my body like this, you sick bastard.”

Lars clicked his tongue. “Whatever, you’re no fun for a kid, anyway.”

It made me feel sick to know this was the man who could kill us all at any moment. Why does God bless the worst people with the best abilities? Perhaps it’s to spite the ignorant who believe in blind goodness. Ignorance is bliss, that’s what they say, right? Lars existed to ruin people like that.

The longer I thought about any of this, the more my mind ached. At some point, deciding to close my eyes and go blank ended up being the best decision I could’ve made for the rest of the ride.

As we approached the elevator, Lars looked at me. “Let’s try to keep a cool head once we touch down, yeah? I’ll explain what I can, but it’ll be even better once your father joins us. Things are going to get real juicy on this ride…”

I scoffed, “Whatever, just put me down and let me see them.”

Making sure Rocco, Clarine, and Fence were okay was the priority, now. Especially Rocco and Clarine.

Rocco losing his arm was something I’d have never expected to happen. When thinking of possibilities, I considered Lars reattaching it, but how likely would that be? After all, Lars is probably the reason he lost the arm to begin with.

Damn it, this whole time I wanted to believe my feelings for Rocco were mixed ever since I heard Clarine’s story, but to tell the truth, I had a soft spot for him since the beginning. He was the first person to entertain my first real dream and the idea of my true self.

As for Clarine, nothing about my opinion of her has changed since the first day we met, but it didn’t need to. On the day we met, she instantly became a role model of mine. Learning to bear the pain of the world and still fight for others was a concept that seemed far too mature for where I was at the time. Hell, it probably still is. If I really did have that mindset, I wouldn’t have embarked on this mission. At the very least I wouldn’t have dragged any of them with me. Now, they’re injured and Masir is dead.

My incompetence doesn’t just show on the field itself, it’s apparent in every aspect of my life. No matter what I try to do, I fail miserably and can blame nobody but myself… That’s probably why I decided building a roller coaster would be a good dream. The adrenaline truly does feel amazing and there’s nothing else like it that makes everything melt away. But that’s the thing, isn’t it? Everything just melts away for a minute, and then it all comes pouring back in. It’s an escape from reality that I interpreted as a dream because I couldn’t accept my own futility.

Lighting on fire, surviving multiple encounters with dwellers. Even going head to head with many skilled scavengers and Scavenger Lords. Everything has been an attempt to get closer to this goal of mine while also discovering part of myself. It seemed like blaming everything around me wouldn’t be enough, so in a plea of desperation, my mind subconsciously began to chase a dream that deep down, I always knew would be impossible…

Building a roller coaster or theme park isn’t for me. I don’t think any of this is. I wanted to believe that I could change this, change the world, but that’s just fiction. When you acknowledge the reality of it all, I’m useless.

I pushed my body off of Lars’ the first moment I could and rushed into the elevator. All three of them were huddled in a corner and Fence had one knee bent over as he tended to Clarine and Rocco who were both sitting and lying on the same bunk.

The moment I entered the elevator my flames began to dissipate and my human form revealed itself once again.

“Fence… What the hell are you doing, man? They should be in separate bunks. They both need to lie down.”

He turned around with a faint smile that immediately turned into horror. I looked behind us and Lars slowly walked into the elevator with his hands in his pockets. He didn’t have a care in the world.

Fence stood up and began to run towards him.

I put myself in front of him with my arms and legs spread out. “Wait! Don’t hurt him… We can’t hurt him.”

Fence stopped and seemed angry and confused. “What are you talking about, Bane?! He damn near killed both of our lords. Our perfect opportunity has shown itself, now!”

I sighed, “No, it has not. If Lars did this to our lords, what the hell do you think he’ll do to us? He killed Masir and decided to let us off with a warning. I know it sucks. I hate it as well, but there’s no reason for any more of us to die.”

I almost admitted to all this being my fault, but part of my pride stopped me. How pathetic.

Lars clapped. “Haha, very well said, kid… Y’know, Fence, what I did to Clarine was nothing personal. You guys really did have me backed into a corner there. For a second, I thought, ‘damn, is this how I go out?’ Then I realized I was up against a bird-brained giant and a woman! If it were just her and me… I’d have shown her a good time too-”

Fence pushed me to the ground and charged at Lars. It only took me a second to turn and witness Lars’ smirk. This was purely entertainment for him. Scripted entertainment at that. Everything was going according to his plans. Fence went for a full-on tackle but Lars was easily able to evade, and using his charge against him, he kicked Fence in his back.

Fence’s jaw ended up busted with some blood leaking out from his mouth as he hit the ground. It was nothing severe but it was enough to show Fence how idiotic any of us were for thinking we stood a chance against him.

I walked over and offered my hand to Fence. “Come on, your mouth is bleeding a little. Sit down on a bunk and I’ll get you some water to rinse your mouth out with.”

Fence slapped my hand away. “You think just because the tables have turned, it means you should give up? At first, you seemed to have potential. You’re Edwin’s son and more importantly, your entire body can withstand fire. Yet, you’re one of the weakest people I know. This whole mission was your idea, to begin with… Clarine getting injured, Rocco losing his arm, Masir dying, that’s all on you for dragging us into your fantasy where you wanted to play the bloodthirsty hero… Give me a damn break now that you want to play the pacifist.”

I thought he’d rush over to Lars again but Fence decided to walk back towards Clarine to watch over her.

He wasn’t wrong so I had no right to object to anything he said. Feeling pathetic on your own terms is one thing, but having someone else call you out on how much of a loser you are is indescribably excruciating.

Walking over to Rocco seemed like the only thing left to do. At first, it appeared as if he were sleeping, but now it just seemed like he was trying not to focus on anything in an effort to not think about the pain from his lost arm. Fence bandaged him and gave him a few painkillers.

I looked over to Lars. “Can you put his arm back on him, please?” It was embarrassing to beg him for this, but not trying at all would’ve been worse…