The Voiceless

My phone rang as I finished up the last of my assignments.

Only, it wasn't the last because Manager Na decided to shove a crap ton more. What did he say again? Something to the effects of... "I ain't trust no one else to do it, so it's on you, kid. Don't screw up. Otherwise, Sunayomi is gonna sink along with you." What a beautiful message that won't make me feel pressured at all.

Now, let's see who's calling me. And, drumroll... Yoshino Yoko.

Dammit. Just when I was finally starting to calm down a bit, she decides to call. Can't they leave me alone for a bit? I guess not since I'm their assistant, but aren't they busy getting ready for the show? Do they really have the time to bother themselves with me?

With a sigh, I picked up. "Hello?"

"Noa~" she said playfully, dragging the last syllable for a while. Just the sound of my first name was like an icicle creeping deeper into my ear.

"Do you have to say it like that...?" I mumbled.

"Why, of course. We said that we would address each other comfortably, didn't we? I'm doing just that."

"For the record, it was you who said that and forced me into it."

"Same thing. Anyway, what are you doing right now?"

"Me? Just a bunch of random tasks that Manager Na assigned to me. Really takes me back to the good 'ol days when I was just a contractual backstage crew runner."

"Miss it much?"

"Nah. Pay was alright, but what I have now is definitely better."

She let out an amused scoff. "Seriously? Is the pay the only thing that's better?"

"Not sure. Was there something else I was supposed to notice?"

"Psh... Just get over to the salon room. Showtime's not for another hour and a half. Keep us company, won't you?"

"Right. Almost forgot my core duty as Sunayomi's official-slash-unofficial assistant."

"I mean, the pay is good, right? Your words, not mine."

"Hah... I'll be right there."

"Good."

Since there were already a lot of people around—staff included—security had been stationed wherever Sunayomi was. I knew I had found them when I spotted men in black suits patrolling a corridor.

Most of them recognized me since they were the same guards stationed back at the studio. For the few who didn't, my badge alone wouldn't cut it. That's why I stayed on the phone with Yoko. One word from her, and the guards stepped aside.

"Pretty convenient," I chuckled as I walked past a pair of patrollers.

"When you’re riding with Sunayomi, a lot of things become convenient," she mused. "Like… having an assistant to fetch whatever you need, whenever you need it."

"…Whatever."

Eventually, I made it to the salon room. As my fingers brushed against the doorknob, my heart suddenly kicked into overdrive.

“Goddammit… What is wrong with me?” I muttered under my breath.

Before, I wouldn't have hesitated to walk in. I never cared what they thought of me—if they found me annoying, arrogant, or careless, it wasn't anything I'd lose sleep over.

Now... I don't know. Maybe they never saw me that way to begin with. But if they did, I don't want to be that person to them anymore.

That's not a big deal at all. We're friends now, so I should take into consideration what they think of me. Isn't that natural? If that's the case, then why am I overthinking this?

I inhaled deeply, steadying myself before pushing the door open.

Inside, the girls were lounging around, already dressed and ready to go. This is one of those moments where I look at them—then at myself—and realize… I really don’t belong here at all.

The first ones to notice me were Suzu and Nabi, who were sitting on a corner couch right next to the door.

"Oh! Hey, Noa!" they both exclaimed at the exact same time.

As their eyes widened, they turned to look at each other. Mira, who was sitting styling chair, slowly spun around to glare at me. That gaze alone made me feel uneasy.

"Noa, huh?" she grumbled. "Looks like we're all just gonna get comfortable with him from now on. Is that it? He's still our assistant, so there's a level of professionalism we need to maintain."

That's real rich when it was no more than two hours ago when she kissed me, but it's not like I'm gonna outright say that. She'll have my head before I even finish the sentence.

On that note... shit. I'm remembering the kiss again. Someone grab a shovel and smash it over my head to stabilize my heart, please.

"Again, it's not that big of a deal," I sighed. "If you guys wanna call me by my first name, just do it. I don't mind. And like I said, I'll speak to you comfortably as well. Deal?"

They exchanged looks as if coming to a telepathic agreement. Yoko, who was sitting on the chair next Mira, smiled with great anticipation as if she knew this would happen. Just how much chaos is she planning to cause?

"I guess we have no choice since you're the one who presented it, Noa," Yoko scoffed. "Let's speak informally to each other from now on. At least... for the duration up until the end of your contract."

There it is again. I don't recall how many times they've brought up the contract now that I'm nearing the end of it, but it's been a lot. 

"Since we're all here, let me ask you again," Yoko said. "Noa... 

When there's four of them, mixed messages are all I can gather at best, so all I'm left with is to wonder... They don't really want me to stay, right? It's comical and pretentious of me to even assume such a ridiculous thing.

"You know, this contract thing has been popping up pretty often recently," I chuckled. "It's making me think you guys actually want me to stay."

"Well, that's the case, isn't it?" Mira said.

My mind went blank. "...What?"

"I'm saying that's the case. You see, Noa, we do want you to stay, now more than ever."

I couldn't say anything. It felt like a lump had clogged my throat.

Is she... being serious? But she said it with such nonchalance that I wouldn't be surprised if she pulled a quick one on me.

However, those eyes that were staring me down with the most sincerity I'd ever seen from her made me doubt that.

Nabi reached for the sleeve of my jacket with a smile. "Remember what we talked about, both a while and a bit ago? You're a great assistant. Maybe not the best on paper, but you're certainly the best to us, Noa. No doubt about it."

"That's right, Noa," Suzu grinned while crossing her arms. "If anything, you're not just our assistant. I mean, look at us. We're calling you by your first name." 

Nabi poked a finger up. "Oh yeah. We don't even do that with Manager Na."

"Exactly!"

"The point is, Noa, we like you. A lot," Mira said with a sly smile, fully knowing the implications behind those words. "So... Won't you stay?"

Am I hearing things correctly? Has all that blasting music in my ear for the past decade finally caught to me? Because there's no way this is real.

They... really do want me to stay. What am I even supposed to say? I should be happy, right? But right now, all I feel is... I don't even know what, but it's overstimulating.

Genuinely, what is wrong with me? Why can't I ever just be straight up with my feelings?

I said that I would lean on them. I said that I'd rely on them and let them worry about me... and yet, I'm still hesitating.

I opened my mouth to speak, yet there was nothing, because I had nothing. My voice... Just wasn't there.

Suddenly, the door clicked open, and in walked Manager Na.

"Alright, girls. We gotta get a move on. The stadium is already getting filled up, so let's work on your moves one last time."

"Okay~" they all said as they stood up.

Manager finally noticed me standing right next to him. "Oh. You were here too, kid?"

"Y-yeah..."

And then, he got suspicious. "Don't tell me something happened between you guys again."

"What? No, it's nothing like that. Just... a lot on my mind."

He looked at the girls, who shrugged it off, then back to me. Those freaking traitors. They know damn well what this is all about.

"I see," Manager Na said. "Well, since you're here, why don't you come and watch? I'm sure the girls could use some moral support."

"Yes, that's a good idea," Yoko smiled. "How about it, Noa?"

And just like that, the mood shifted. Manager Na's head creaked over to me, baring a striking glare that was somehow much more terrifying than Mira's.

"...Noa...?" he muttered.