The Things We Chose to Mute

Sometimes, in random moments, at random places, with random thoughts, we find ourselves stuck, bewildered, and speechless.

Right now, in front of me, was a girl whose identity I didn’t even know, who acted very differently from normal people, and whose thoughts I couldn’t quite figure out. She was trying to decide on something from the restaurant menu on the tablet in her hand.

Just a moment ago, I was in shock at a music store, and now we were in a café. Not the best comparison, but whatever. I just stood there, looking at her, not knowing what to say.

I had already made my choice—frappuccino mocha. Now, I just needed to stay calm.

I wasn’t sure if she was angry earlier, but now, for some reason I couldn’t understand, I had been invited here.

To be honest, even though I didn’t know her well, if we were to part ways suddenly after this, we might never meet again. So, I was glad to be spending this time together. I just needed to find topics to talk about, ask why she had invited me, and, if appropriate, get her contact information. And I had to do all of this calmly.

BUT HOW THE HELL WAS I SUPPOSED TO STAY CALM?!

Meanwhile, Lyra had made her choice and put the tablet aside.

“What did you order?” I asked. I hoped my voice didn’t sound nervous.

“The same as yours, and I got a mosaic cake on the side,” Lyra said cheerfully. She took out her phone, checked something, and then put it away again.

“Oh, I see,” I replied. Damn it, I really can’t talk when I’m nervous!

Let me clarify something. I don’t have trouble talking to girls or meeting new people. In fact, the girls around me usually treat me in a friendly manner, saying they find me "cute" (I have no idea why they call me that). Since I don’t have romantic feelings for any of them and truly see them as friends, things never get awkward between us. Come to think of it, I haven’t felt any romantic attraction toward a girl in a long time. N-not that I’m gay or anything! It’s just that… I haven’t found anyone who makes me feel the way I did back in middle school…

“Hey, Yuta.”

“Y-Yes?!?”

Lyra suddenly locked eyes with me, pulling me out of my internal monologue. Seriously, why did she do that out of nowhere?

“I’m not taking up your time, am I? I just invited you to this café so suddenly…” Lyra spoke with a tone of concern. If I had been surprised, I had already forgotten about it…

“No, I didn’t have any plans,” I replied flatly.

“Oh, that’s a relief.” She gave a small, polite smile before continuing. “Back at the store, we jumped from topic to topic, and it felt a bit off to me. Plus, when we first met, I left so abruptly without a proper goodbye. I’m sorry.” She suddenly bowed her head in an apologetic manner.

What’s going on? Even if someone did this, I wouldn’t think much of it. But how could she be so forward and confident while also being so polite?

“I-It’s fine. Your phone rang, after all. If it hadn’t been important, I don’t think you would have left like that,” I said in a neutral tone. Wait, did I just imply I had made a judgment about her?

Just then, our coffees and Lyra’s cake arrived. After a brief silence, I picked up my mocha, feeling the condensation on the cold cup.

“T-Thank you.”

“Huh?”

Why was she thanking me? She already said thank you earlier—why again?

“For being understanding and not asking too many questions. Also, you really helped me out a lot. That’s why I’m thanking you.” Lyra’s voice was as delicate as a harp. Her voice was so beautiful that I was sure she could be a singer or a voice actress if she wanted to. Wait a second…

“Help? What help?” I asked, confused. What had I done?

“W-Well, y-you know! Your feedback on Lyola’s song helped me notice details I hadn’t before! That’s what I meant…”

Lyra’s eyes widened as she stuttered like a nervous wreck before suddenly returning to normal.

Why was she so surprised? More importantly…

WHY WAS THAT REACTION SO DAMN CUTE?!

Her face turned red, and she slowly pulled her hands toward her stomach, as if she had tensed up. Was she embarrassed? Nervous? What was this reaction?!

“Oh… It’s no big deal. Those were just my thoughts at the time, and if it helped improve your listening experience, then I’m really glad,” I said.

She smiled softly. The frightened and flustered expression from earlier vanished, and she seemed relieved.

How much longer was this conversation going to be filled with “I’m sorry” and “Thank you”? At this rate, we were going to kill the conversation before even starting our drinks.

And well…

That’s exactly what happened.

About thirty seconds of silence passed between us. Each second made me more anxious, and my mind became more and more jumbled. I wanted to believe the beautiful girl sitting across from me felt the same way, but her face remained unreadable.

I had to do something. I was always the type of person who could talk to people easily, right? I could do this.

“You mentioned playing the piano. How did you start?”

Lyra gave a slight smile. “Actually, my mom forced me into music lessons when I was a kid. At first, I hated it.”

“Really? I would have thought you started on your own.”

“Well, I guess I kind of did in a way. Back then, I didn’t realize it, but every time I sat at the piano, I felt better.”

Another small silence followed. Honestly, I wasn’t sure what I could or couldn’t ask. I didn’t want to give a wrong impression to a stranger.

“So, after all this talking and exchanging opinions, how about telling me a bit about yourself?” Lyra asked in a relaxed yet confident voice. Her green eyes met mine.

For some reason, the fact that she could do what I couldn’t made me feel uneasy. But at the same time, her interest made me feel… special.

“Well, I’m Yuta. I’m 18 and a student in engineering. Other than that, hmm…” My mind went blank. There were plenty of things I could talk about, but I felt like I had nothing interesting to say. I continued as best as I could. “I like listening to music, watching movies, and TV shows.”

“You’re 18? We’re the same age,” Lyra said, slightly surprised.

“What about you?” I asked, curious. It should be fine to ask now, right?

“Well, I’m Lyra. I’m 18, and I go to an art school. I love playing the piano, listening to music, and eating sweets!” She said the last part while popping a piece of brownie into her mouth.

“An art school? Wow…” I said, genuinely surprised. It was a pretty competitive place to get into.

As we sipped our coffee, we kept talking.

The conversation mostly revolved around me. Whenever I asked Lyra a question, she would give short answers, but whenever I responded to one of her questions, she would keep asking more. It felt like she was genuinely interested, not just asking for the sake of conversation.

No matter how much I asked, I still barely knew anything about her.  Even just from her behavior, I could feel how different we were. Her confidence, her way of acting and thinking—it was all so drastically different from my monotonous and stable life that it almost gave me a headache. 

And yet, the more I learned about her, the more curious I became. Still, I always tried to avoid asking personal questions or digging into the reasons behind certain things.

At some point, our conversation shifted to Lyola. After talking about her at length, we had finally reached the end of our discussion.

Contrary to what I had expected, during our talk about Lyola, we had both taken a step toward keeping in touch (well, more like she did, but my pride won’t let me admit that). In the end, I got her number.

Now, there was only one last thing I had to swallow my pride for.

"Would you like to join us for the next Lyola concert?" I asked. I was so tense while saying it that if I hadn’t hyped myself up for courage, there was no way I could’ve asked a girl something like this. (Even then, I could only be brave enough to phrase it as a group invitation.)

Lyra lowered her head slightly, her eyes dropping to her empty coffee cup for a moment.

"Sorry, I’m planning to go with my boyfriend."