Chaturaji cheat

As the night went on, so too did the DJ challenges. Only this time, four designated areas lit up atop the 6B tank instead of the usual two.

"You know what it means when there's four lights shining?" D.R. Passant asked the crowd.

"There's a fifth one hidden somewhere?" a man in lederhosen asked.

"No, it means we got a 4-way chess match on our hands! But... there's a catch. First, it's TEAM 4-way chess, and second... it's CHATURAJI!"

A few groans could be heard from the crowd. Chaturaji was infamous amongst the chess community for being quite difficult, and tedious at times. Not to mention, there was a rule within it that infuriated all, accept for the winner.

"Why the groaning? Winning team gets 50 million WWCF points per player, AND 10,000 euros each!"

The incentive got more hands raised, but still not a significant number. But there were enough teams willing to compete, so D.R. Passant made his picks.

"Croatia, Lithuania, the Philippians, and the New Republic of Paeonia, send your women's teams to the stage!"

All the teams made their way to the stage with most eyes centered on Paeonia. Of it's 5 women, 3 were decked out in green, even going as far as to have matching green hair, while the others sported orange. Amongst the green-haired women was Paeonia's leader, Barbro Zamenhofo. She was a young grandmaster, who had seemingly come out of nowhere to become the country's leader. All that was known is that she was a huge advocate of Esperanto, even making it Paeonia's national language, and claimed to be descended from the founder of Esperanto himself, L. L. Zamenhof.

To add more mystic to the origins of Barbro, one of the women in orange, a young woman with short red hair named Nevena Zograf, was actually Barbro's mother. While she didn't deny that they were descended from Zamenhof, she did seem to be against the notion that Paeonia was an Esperanto-speaking nation from the get-go.

The same sentiment was echoed by their teammate, Biljana Ilievska, who like Nevena, believed the country's origins lied elsewhere, namely with Alexander the great. Her claims were often shot down by Barbro, who claimed the country most certainly wasn't descended from him, but Zamenhof instead. As for the other members of the team, they were loyalists to Barbro. One was Ofelio Kanjo, a bespectacled young woman with a green afro, while the other was Raĥelo Janjo, a young woman with short curly green hair.

Situated in the Balkans, Paeonia sought to get along with it's neighbors, and for the most part, it did. It's relations with Greece were amazing, though there were a few issues when some of Paeonia's citizens claimed they were Macedonians descended from Alexander the great. It's relations with Bulgaria and Romania were good too, however, it's relations with Albania and Serbia weren't the greatest, due to both nations' leaders feeling weary of Barbro and her true objective.

Other Balkan nations' leaders were also weary of Paeonia, notably Bosnia and Herzegovina and Croatia.

"Well I'll be, the Skopje zoo had a mass monkey breakout," Vlatka sneered as she laid eyes on Barbro.

All the Paeonians shot her a death glare. Despite having differences on the state of the country, one thing that was true of all Paeonians is that they'd get pissed off if you called them a monkey. Vlatka knew this, which was exactly why she did it.

"Ugh, madam prez, you have to piss off everyone at everyplace, every time?" a woman with a blonde bob cut named, Nela Bošković, sighed.

"Nela, shall I have your mouth sealed like Dunja's?" Vlatka glared as she motioned towards a bald woman with her entire head and face tattooed in red and white checkered squares.

The woman in question, Dunja Sabolić, was a recent addition to the Croatian team, who despite her startling appearance, was a talented chess player. Her seemingly identical twin sister, Dijana Sabolić, was also competing, though in sharp contrast to Dunja, Dijana had long blonde hair and a face free of tattoos. She did have tattoos elsewhere on her body though.

The final member of the Croatian team was a blue-haired woman named, Snežana Zebić. In contrast to her teammates who were sporting red and white checkered attire, Snežana was wearing blue and white checkered attire. While it was permissible, it did annoy Vlatka, as she had personally picked out the team uniform.

Focus then shifted towards the team from the Philippians, which was headed by a wealthy blue-haired woman named, Queenie Lauzon. Queenie was a ruthless woman that headed a chess merc group, consisting of Glaiza and two of the other members of the team, a red-haired woman with an eyepatch named, Luzviminda Angara, and a woman with a completely shaved head, aside from three thick strands of hair named, Inday Mangubat.

The final member of the team was a young woman with a shoulder-length blonde bob named, Kristel Lapid. A WWCF official sent to Manilla in hopes of keeping Queenie and her rowdy mercs in check, Kristel often found herself subjected to the merc's torture, notably via being hogtied and gagged while being dangled on a rope over a lit candle. Deep down, the mercs did really care about Kristel and considered her a comrade, even though they'd never admit it publicly.

As for the Lithuanian team, Ugnė and Eglė were naturally present alongside their teammates. One was a woman with long curly blonde hair that obscured one of her eyes named, Živilė Radžvilas. Flanking her was a bald browless woman covered in tattoos named, Ingrida Šepetys, while the other was a woman with long orangish-blonde hair named, Jūratė Vyšniauskas.

Once the introductions were out of the way, the teams were assigned a color. Croatia was Red, meaning they went first, followed by the Philippians as Blue, Lithuania as Yellow, and Paeonia as Green. The game began with team Croatia moving their pawn to b3, team Philippians moving their pawn to c5, team Lithuania moving their pawn to e6, and team Paeonia moving their pawn to f3. Team Croatia then moved their bishop out to b2, and that marked the end of peace on the board.

"Check," Queenie snarled as she moved her bishop to b5 for team Philippians.

"Well someone's aggressive. Huddle round, girls. I got a plan," Živilė growled.

Team Lithuania began to huddle close together, causing Ugnė to blush at being able to make physical contact with Ingrida's smooth head.

"Hurry it up, I'm not about to become Miss Bald fetish's snuggle doll," Ingrida snarled.

"You shaved your head, so live with the consequences," Jūratė scoffed.

"GOT A PROBLEM WITH GIRLS SHAVIN' THEIR HEADS, HUH!?

"Break it up! We're on the clock. So Živilė, what say we do?"

"Ignore the check."

Jūratė shot her a disgusted glare. "Huh? You soak too much bleach into your head?"

"NATURALLY blonde, and there's strategy to my idea. Chaturaji is a points based game, and capturing the king is only worth 3 points, while the boat and bishop are worth 5. Red likely wants a piece of the pie, so I doubt they'd just let Blue waltz in with a mate, thus they could threaten Red with a check, thus negating everything."

"Then what do we do?" Ugnė asked.

"We counter with a check," Živilė smirked as she exited the huddle and moved the bishop to e7 for team Lithuania.

"Hmm, mutual destruction. Not interested Ofelio scoffed as she ruffled her hair and moved her pawn to f4 for team Paeonia.

Now it was team Croatia's turn to huddle.

"Well what are we waiting for? Take the pawn at g7, then we get the boat next turn," Snezana scowled.

"Well no shit, if pieces didn't lose all their value after the king gets captured! Blue's definitely gonna capture the king, which is why we have to threaten them," Vlatka glared.

"And if they still take?" Nela scowled.

"We eliminate them and face Paeonia one-on-one, the preferable outcome," Vlatka declared as she left the huddle and moved her bishop to c3, nit even bothering to say, "Check."

Inday stared at the bishop as Kristel began to get nervous. "Um, we should probably-"

"CHECKMATE! Eat shit, ya Lithium shits!" Inday shouted as she captured the king at e8 with her bishop, gaining 3 points for team Philippians and eliminating team Lithuania from the game.

"Well nice going, you forgot to take into account our opponents are neanderthal barbarians!" Jūratė fumed.

Team Paeonia opted to move their pawn to e3, preparing for their inevitable one-on-one showdown with team Croatia.

"And stupid begets stupid. Checkmate," Vlatka sneered as she shoved Nela aside in order to capture the king at a5 with her bishop and gain 3 points, eliminating team Philippians from the game.

"THE HELL! Kristel! You blew it again!" Inday fumed as she whipped out her pocket knife.

"Oh, spare me this hell, I did nothing wrong!" Kristel cried as she sunk to her knees, knowing she'd be spending the night bound and gagged, dangling above a lit candle as always.

Team Paeonia now went on the attack, capturing the pawn at d2 with their 3-pawn, netting the team a point. This caused a malicious smirk to form on Vlatka's face as she captured the pawn at d2 with her bishop for team Croatia, bringing their point total to 4 points.

"Um, mind letting us play?" Nela snarled.

"Shut it, Vlatka-sama is our representative, so her will is our will," Dijana glared.

"I do hate to interrupt your bickering, but here's a check with your name on it," Raĥelo smirked as she moved her bishop to g4 for team Paeonia.

Yet to everyone's shock, Vlatka seemed thrilled by this development. "You want it? TAKE IT!" she cackled as she captured the pawn at f4 with her bishop for team Croatia, giving them a total of 5 points overall.

"Don't mind-"

"Wait!"

Raĥelo froze as Barbro frantically waved her arm in front of her. With a sigh, she turned and team Paeonia began their huddle.

"Why'd you stop me?"

"They have 5 points. We capture the king, we'll only have 4, and they'll win!" Barbro whispered.

"Bullshit! We'd be the last team standing!"

"This game is points based. We can't capture the king until we have enough points. Let's try and get the boat out."

Everyone agreed and Raĥelo turned back towards the board to move her knight to f3 for team Paeonia. However...

"I resign!" Vlatka sneered.

Airhorns blasted out. "WE HAVE A WINNER! With 5 points... TEAM CROATIA TAKES IT ALL!" D.R. Passant proclaimed as shock found it's way to team Paeonia's faces.

"BULLSHIT! She resigned!" Barbro fumed.

"And the rules say it's permissible. Why, you even get the 3 points for my king anyway, so you got second. Talk about sore losers in need of disciplinary action. Well, enjoy blue hell," Vlatka snickered.

The trapdoors opened, sending all members of teams Lithuania, Philippians, and Paeonia into the blueberry juice. The tank was large enough to accommodate all 15, so there was no worry about anyone getting stuck, as all of them were seamlessly sucked through the room before being spat out into the kiddie pool, sticky and blue.

"EW! MY HAIR!" Ofelio cried as she shoved her hands into her hair.

But none were perhaps more frustrated than Barbro. "Damn you Vlatka... I'll make you pay for this," she thought.

The full game:

Red: Team Croatia (Dunja Sabolić (2259), Snežana Zebić (2101), Nela Bošković (2134), Dijana Sabolić (2143), and Vlatka Jurkovič (2094)): 5 Blue: Team Philippians (Queenie Lauzon (2013, Kristel Lapid (2216), Luzviminda Angara (2165), Inday Mangubat (2004), and Glaiza Quitoriano (2012)): 3 Yellow: Team Lithuania (Ugnė Šaulytė (2177), Ingrida Šepetys (2176), Živilė Radžvilas (2103), Eglė Vizgirda (2007), and Jūratė Vyšniauskas (2005)): 0 Green: Team New Republic of Paeonia (Barbro Zamenhofo (2759), Raĥelo Janjo (1859), Ofelio Kano (2107), Biljana Ilievska (2106), and Nevena Zograf (2239)): 4

1. b3 c5 e6 f3

2. Bb2 Bb5+ Be7+ f4

3. Bc3+ Bxe8# e3

4. Bxa5# 3xd2

5. Bxd2 Bg4+

6. Bxf4 Nf3

7. R