Chapter 2:


...mY happiness...

I opened my eyes and blinked… “M-ma...mmmM...Mam...a.” “That’s it <>< can do it baby, it’s Maaa Maaa.” Mama said to baby me. “mama” I finally said it. The room filled with joy, Captain Borges howled loudly at the fact that papa wasn't my first word. Mama hugged and kissed all over, even on the scar. Around me the crimson miasma and the pure blue mushed into nothing until everything was white, the violently peaceful half of nothing. Bookmark here

“<><” Mama shouted out to me as I darted from here to there at the age of four. Now the sky blue took shape and stood around me--circling. They would run and I would chase them...I loved chasing the sky blue people...But I realized that they never ran from Mama even when she got close to them. That was until Captain Borges killed himself because of the crimson people.Bookmark here

Captain Borges loved me. That's an understatement...he dedicated himself to my whole existence and made sure I felt like I was here. Anything I even looked at was mine, he spoiled me. Maybe he didn’t want me to ask about the scars...maybe he wanted to erase the scars with love and materials; he tried. Thank you, Captain Borges, thank you, Papa. But Captain Borges tried too much, he tried and tried and told me I was lying about the blue people and the crimson beasts, the ones that lurked around the foot of my bed but ran away when I got near. I watched as the crimson lurked near Captain Borges, I tried to tell Mama and him every day. I tried to tell them about what I saw but they just told me it was my imagination...I even heard mama whisper to Captain Borges that I might be “off the walls,” because of that incident. He got mad at her, really mad I heard a slam. Loud. Heavy. Aggressive. The more she said it, the louder the thuds got. This went on for a while...weeks, months, years. The more I heard the loud. Heavy. Aggressive. Slams, the more Mama hated me, the less she hid it and the colder the world became. The days became a slush of red, the crimson people were everywhere but near me, they hate me too. They licked on mama and captain Borges, touched them, did anything to them. But they...they didn’t seem to feel it. They couldn’t see it or feel it...but I could feel it hear it smell it taste it and see it. I could feel the world that they didn’t and when I finally realized at the age of 6, I felt lonely for the first time ever. Bookmark here

*Ring* *Ring*. I hear from my bed as Mama goes for the phone. Distinct chatter. Then a clatter and another thud. A distinct one. He wasn’t home yet. Why? Why? Why? I peer at the door from beneath my covers a bit scared. I can feel the heaviness in the air. I can smell them near. The smell is so strong I feel like I am suffocating. I want to call out for her, but before I do she slams open the door. I look to her. She looks to me. They rub against her and nibble on her body, I can smell them, I can feel them, I can see them. I can smell them, I can feel them, I can see them.Bookmark here

I can smell them, I can feel them, I can see them. I back away from her in fear as silver drops lit by the moon dance from her eyes and fall with a thud to the floor. She walks towards me smiling and with her arms wide open. “Come, baby, I love you so much. I don’t want you to suffer so come with me.” I couldn’t move. Mama. Mama, I wanted to believe she was like her old self and that it was love, but no...humans are weak. Bookmark here

Mama embraced me before carrying me to the empty bathtub. She left for some minutes and I stood there, in the cold empty darkness waiting for her to embrace me again. She came back.Bookmark here

I looked at her with a bright smile…Bookmark here

she looked back at me with lifeless eyes and a face of disgust...Bookmark here

“You will never let anyone live with happiness, you dirty shit. YOU KILLED HIM. YOU RUINED OUR LIFE, MY HAPPINESS. YOU HEAR ME <><. ANYONE YOU MEET WILL WANT TO FUCKING DIE, YOU WORTHLESS LITTLE PIECE OF SHIT. FUCK YOU, YOU KILLED HIM, YOU KILLED HIM, YOU KILLED HIM.” She heaved as the loaded gun she brought with her rattled in her hand. She raised it and pointed it at my face. Bookmark here

I looked to the emptiness of the muzzle. The emptiness of the muzzle looked to me. Bookmark here

A tight-lipped grinBookmark here

“M-ma...mmmM...Mam...a.” I said before the world turned to nothing. Bookmark here

Nothing. Bookmark here

Nothing...Bookmark here

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