The Complexity of Family Relationships

Mari glared at her dinner as she stabbed it repeatedly with a fork. Food currently about as appealing as mercury.

Nanny Tenka hummed peacefully as she fixed the dress Mari ruined, her fingers flying with well-practiced smoothness.

“You’re such a child! I’ll fix it, but I’ll also add some proper slits so you can move. Clothing design and textile work are my specialties! It’ll be ready by the time we go out visiting for the night!” Nanny had burst out laughing at Mari’s antics and repeatedly swore that she wasn’t angry, but...

“You’re so selfish...you don’t stop to consider the feelings of others.”

Azreal had said exactly what her family used to scream at her. She felt like the scum of the earth. Was she just going to be a burden and irritation to everyone around her, no matter how hard she tried?

Was Azreal ever going to forgive her? Was he going to wish she’d go away?

She had been appreciative of the dress. But she had been so excited about going out with Sori...Mari had gotten carried away. She had been entrusted with one of the old woman’s most precious possessions and treated it like dirt. Even if it hadn’t been a sentimental item, it still wasn’t her's to rip without permission. 

In her mind, clothes could be replaced. Having spent most of her life living in her unicorn form with her own kind, the concepts of personal property and monetary value seemed arbitrary and meaningless to her compared to life itself.

*Bonk! Bonk!*

The dishes rattled. Sori slowly gave her the side-eye before quickly looking away. The pleasant mood of their day had been ruined so, while Mari murdering her food was getting on his nerves, he knew better than to say anything. He couldn’t blame her.

“Mari, for the hundredth time, I’m not mad.” Nanny assured her, sensing why the girl was being a threat to the peace. “It’s an easy fix. You’re anxious and working yourself up over nothing.” Mari dropped her fork and laid her head on the table.

“That’s not it. Nanny. I do feel guilty, but... Azreal hates me now. I made him mad and he’s never going to forgive me. He’s usually such a nice person but he screamed at me and said nasty things . He wasn’t exactly wrong but...It still hurt. And now he’s going to always think about this and see me as a disgusting, annoying, and selfish-”

“Mari.” Nanny laid her hand on hers, cutting off Mari's rambling. 

“ Azreal would never hate you! Much less over something this petty. Yes, he said things he shouldn’t have said and I’d like to give him a piece of my mind. Honestly, yelling at a girl? One who has minimal understanding of human behavior? What was that heathen thinking?” The old  woman made a fist.

“You heard all that?” The combined anxiety, guilt, and embarrassment made Mari finally burst into uncontrollable tears.

“Shh! Don’t cry.” Nanny patted her head. “Yes, Azreal said things he shouldn’t have because he was annoyed and there’s no excuse for that. But you know what? He’s going to come back feeling bad and apologize. He’s going to feel even worse than you do now because he knows he messed up.”

Mari scoffed through her tears. “It’s true! It’s the sort of person he is.” Nanny insisted

“And it’s not just Azreal. He said things he shouldn’t have. You’ll do the same to him one day, too. That’s what it means to live alongside other people. We get upset with each other over dumb things, our feelings and egos get in the way, and we’re mean. But we make up and try to do better. It’s part of being human.” Mari hesitantly lifted her head up.

“I’ve said some pretty harsh things to the boys when I was tired and stressed.” Nanny promised, patting Mari’s moist cheek

“Azreal’s gotten annoyed and snapped at me because he likes things quiet and wants to be left alone. This one-” She jabbed her thumb at Sori “-Has no manners or respect for his elders and has said the rudest, smart-mouthed things to the both of us!”

“Hey! Don’t drag me into this!” Sori moaned through his mouth of food. “I’m just here!”

“Just here getting into stuff you shouldn’t half the time” Nanny retorted. “But my point is...” She took Mari’s hand in both of hers.

“Humans can say and do awful things. Families especially can and will get on each other's nerves. But that doesn’t define us or our relationships. Just tell Azreal you’re sorry but be honest about how he hurt you. Make him apologize. You two can’t read each other’s minds, so you need to talk.”

Mari was surprised. Was it really that easy? She wiped her tears with her free hand “But what about later? He’s going to hold this against me for-”

“Mari. This is so minor that no one is going to remember it. I know you haven’t lived among humans before, but you need to learn to be less self-conscious. Other people think about you way less than you think they do. No one is just sitting around judging your every word and action.”

‘But...’ Mari thought, looking into the woman’s kind green eyes. ‘They always remembered, every time, everything...’

Her family remembered every little thing that she did that annoyed them.

Even though they lived for hundreds of years, they would remember things from decades ago and bring them up either when Mari was in a good mood about something that reminded them of the past or they were angry.

A vivid memory rose in her mind.

When her cousin Amui was born, Mari had been so happy because the little foal had taken to her instantly. Mari took care of Amui most of the time, as it kept her out of everyone else’s way. Her cousin would simply light up every time she saw her.

Amui’s struggling with unconsciously switching into her human form and ending up stuck in it. Mari hadn’t felt so alone, having the little girl in her human form around when she was in hers.

Mari would constantly carry Amui around, sing to her, and brush the toddler’s pale pink hair. When Amui would curl up into her side at night to sleep, it reminded Mari of her mother and father’s warmth. She had only the faintest impressions of her parents, but Amui made her recall what it felt like to be loved.

“Oh, don’t you two look so sickenly sweet.” Their aunt had sneered one day when she saw the two in their human forms, decorating each other’s hair with flowers. “Just like when you let that huntsman’s daughter do your hair...before they tried to murder us all because of you.”

Said incident had been minor. The tribe had to flee, but no one had even been injured. But it was a standard case; every ill-fated encounter with humans, every inconvenience, it was Mari’s fault somehow. And no one, especially that specific aunt, would let her forget it.

After that comment, Mari would break out into cold sweats when Amui tried to play with her hair. It got to the point that she physically could not handle people touching her hair excessively when she was in her human form...

‘Nonononono. Don’t think about that! I don’t wanna go back to that place-!’ Mari’s stomach swirled and she lurched forward.

“Sweetie?” Nanny asked in concern, seeing the look of panic flood her face.

“Back when I was with my family, before ....it was never like that..are human families different?”

Nanny knew that look. ‘Someone else who was treated like human scum...’ She thought. ‘Someone who wasn’t seen as a real person...she’s like the rest of us.’ The old woman was further convinced that her oldest grandson had found Mari for a reason.

Nanny smiled. “I don’t know about unicorn families, but I think that we’re more alike than you think. Please, give Azreal a chance. Give us a chance."

Mari’s heart slowly crawled out of her stomach. She wanted to believe the old woman. She felt a kind of comfort and kinship with Nanny that she never felt for her grandparents, aunts, or uncles.

Sori rolled his eyes. “You really do act like an old lady with the overthinking, you know? Azzy is just a weirdo. It’s not that deep.”

“Sori! Attitude!” Nanny snapped.

Sori stuck his tongue out at his grandmother and went back to eating.

Nanny sighed. See what I have to deal with?” Mari giggled.

“How about you eat your food?” Nanny picked up the needle again. “I don’t want to hear you complaining about being hungry later because you decided to kill it a second time instead of eating.”

Mari slowly picked up her fork. ‘I guess worrying isn’t going to make anything better.'

       *                                                                        *                                                                                   *

“Sori! For the hundredth time, bring your dishes out when you’re done eating!” Nanny Tenka screamed into the house as she burried her hands in the wash tub. “You’d think that child was raised in the wild.” Nanny muttered as she scrubbed the dishes.

“I can go get them.” Mari offered, placing a stack of plates on a shelf.

“No. The boy needs to learn some responsibility” She looked over at Mari. “How’s the dress now? You can move alright?”

 “Much better. Thanks again, Nanny..” The old woman waved off her praise and Mari turned back to organizing the clean dishes.

‘I hope Azreal comes back before we go out to see the neighbors. It would be so awkward if he joined us before we could talk, and I’m not going to discuss our squabble out in public for everyone to hear.’ 

Everyone in town knew Azreal and word of Mari’s arrival had spread fast. She didn’t need the rumor mill running amuck about a lover’s quarrel already!

“Oh! Azreal! I didn’t know when you’d be back, so I didn’t save any food.” Nanny suddenly said, making Mari jump.

Azreal ducked into the outdoor kitchen. “That’s fine. We’re going out, right? I can just buy something to eat when we leave.”

‘Crapcrapcrap! Ah, what do I say?’ Mari’s heart soared into her throat. She still hadn’t figured out how to talk about what had happened, but his Azreal’s eyes instantly landed on her and she knew that she couldn’t postpone their talk.

“H-hi...” She waved awkwardly. Azreal immediately came over. Mari noted that there was a package tucked under his arm.

“Oh, Nanny altered the dress.” Azreal observed. 

“Yeah,” Mari tucked a piece of her hair behind her ear. Azreal shifted his weight uncomfortably, like he was trying to figure out what to do next.

‘He’s not any more comfortable having to have this conversation than I am,’ She noted in relief. 

“I’m sorry!” Azreal blurted out. “I was awful to you! I treated you like dirt in front of Sori and his friends. And you were completely right. It’s just a dress and it’s not worth getting upset over because it’s such a minor, material thing. I should have realized that you aren’t human. You’ve spent most of your time in your animal form, so you aren’t going to have the same knowledge or thought process that I have. Considering you just popped up in front of me without any clothes at all, well this is obviously not something that’s a priority for you.” 

The words rapidly tumbled out of Azreal’s mouth. He wasn’t trying to sway her with them. He was speaking frankly and honestly rather clumsily, but he was completely honest in his feelings.

“And then, well...I spent a long time all alone so-”

“Nanny and Sori aren’t technically your family, but you love them and would fight the entire world for their sake. You don’t want anyone to ever hurt them again, so you had a knee-jerk reaction when you felt they were disrespected by someone you met three days ago. It's only natural for you to get defensive.” Mari surmised his inner thoughts, causing Azreal to jump in surprise.

“Y-yeah, that's exactly it, but...? Oh, duh!” He slapped his head. “I forgot how strong your senses were! Of course you can tell we aren't blood related.” He sighed.

“My family is precious to me, but I still didn't consider your feelings. When you came to live with us, you became part of our family, too. You’re one of us, not some sort of competition. Mari.”

Azreal looked directly into Mari’s eyes and her heartrate ratcheted up another ten calibers.

“I’m so, so sorry. Please forgive me for being an asshole. You aren’t selfish or any of those other things I called you. You chose someone like me and you’re amazing with children and....you’re a good person. You’re far too good for me. Please, don’t ever think that any of the stuff I said is true.”

Mari couldn’t hold back her laughter. ‘Nanny was right!'

“W-what? Did I say something wrong?” Azreal's horrified face burned bright red, seemingly out of worrythat she was laughing at his apology.

“Nope!” Mari shook her head, keeping what Nanny had said to herself.

“I was thinking nearly the same thing! I was terrified that you’d hate me forever and want me to leave, but I finally realized that wasn’t like you at all. You’re not a cruel person. You’d never kick me out. You’d regret what you said and apologize. I was just being super self-conscious and scared.” 

Nanny and Sori continued doing the dishes as if Mari and Azreal weren’t there but, from their occasional backwards glances, they were hanging on the couples' every word.

“I need to apologize, too. You weren’t entirely wrong. I was so used to being alone and doing whatever I wanted that I completely forgot about respecting others. Even if it wasn’t malicious, it was rude to rip the dress Nanny gave me. It wasn’t mine. I’ll try to do better at understanding and respecting human behavior. I promise!”

Mari took a deep breath. 

“So, please...try and be patient with me. I don’t like it when people get upset at me. I don’t know how to handle it...I haven’t lived among humans before, so I’m going to be confused and mess up. Please, try to remember that I'm not intentionally trying to hurt anyone or annoy you.” She hoped that Azreal could sense her sincerity.

Nanny was right. Any time two or more people were together, there would always be the possibility of hurt feelings and misunderstandings.

While Mari didn’t think of herself as being any different from humans the truth was that she wasn’t human. She had more in common with elves, wizards, or fairies; other creatures that outwardly looked human enough but were far more powerful and advanced.

Could her and Azreal communicate effectively? Mari was suddenly aware that she had been woefully naïve about how easy it would be to live among humans.

She had never exactly had the greatest social awareness and had barely managed to get along with her own family. She should have anticipated potential cultural and communication conflicts. She didn’t doubt her love for Azreal for a second, but this was a situation where her spontaneity and excitement could have consequences. Azreal wasn’t functionally immortal the way she was. She had to think things through and couldn’t be flippantly short-sighted if she didn’t want him to be hurt.

‘Was falling in love with Azreal a selfish move that’s just going to cause him problems and pain?’ The depressing thought crossed Mari’s mind in a flash.

“Mari...” Azreal looked at her with an incredibly soft look that made her blush and instantly feel like a fool for thinking like that.

“Please be patient with me, too. I’m not great with people and you’re different from everyone else I’ve met. You seem human, but you’re something beyond that. It’s going to be an adjustment for me, too, to understand how you think and behave. Here.” He suddenly held out the package.

“I kept my promise.”

Mari stared at him blankly. "What promise?”

“Remember? Before I left, I said you needed to have some clothes of your own that belonged to you?” Azreal genuinely looked confused.

‘...’You really shouldn’t get to wear any of Nanny’s clothes.’...That was supposed to be some sort of promise?’ Mari thought

“You told me that I was selfish, didn’t think about others and didn’t deserve to get to wear your grandmothers' clothes. Then you left. When did you ever promise me anything?”

Azreal looked like he wanted to be swallowed up by the earth. “I-said...? But...I didn’t...ahhhhh!” He moaned, clutching his head in embarrassment.

“I left because I got an idea that I needed to act on immediately, but I...I literally insulted you instead of saying what I was thinking. I’m so stupid!” He shoved the package at her in humiliation.

“Please, just open it before I embarrass myself anymore!”

Mari took the parcel. It was bulky, but not heavy; wrapped up neatly in heavy paper and twine. . Nanny and Sori peered over in interest as she slowly unwrapped the gift.

“Oh my-Azreal! This is beautiful!” she exclaimed.

It was a teal peasant blouse and dark brown pants. The Blouse was made of sturdy material yet was still soft to the touch. It had puffy sleeves, like Nanny’s dress, but they were edged with white lace and pink trim. Tiny pink and white carnations with golden leaves were embroidered on the bodice and it laced up in front with a shimming pink ribbon. The pants were, in actuality, leather and canvass leggings that laced up on the sides and had small pouches attached to the waist.

Mari couldn’t find her words. ‘It-It’s perfect for me!’ She thought as her mouth fell open.

“You deserved to have something special of your own, too.” Azreal smiled. “And Nanny’s clothes aren’t the right style for you. These are flexible so you can run wild to your hearts content. I was thinking about getting you some boots, too, but I figured that would be a waste since you refuse to wear shoes.”

Mari ran her fingers longingly over the embroidered flowers. “I love it but...It had to have cost a fortune! I can’t accept this, Azreal!” She protested.

Azreal gently put his hand over hers. “But I want you to have it. Consider it my apology gift. Being considerate to others feelings doesn’t mean that you can’t allow yourself to be happy.” He urged her. He could tell how much she longed to try the outfit on.

“I picked it out specially for you,” he smiled, gently touching a lock of her hair. “Teal and pink look good with your hair."

Mari broke into a big sappy grin. ‘He really thought about me that much? And he cared that much about making me happy? I guess I must accept it then!’

She squealed and gave Azreal a hug. “Thank you! Thank you so much!” Azreal tensed for a moment before relaxing and patting her head.

“I’m happy that it makes you happy and you aren’t sad anymore. Why don’t you try it on before we leave?”

Mari let go of him and jumped back. “That’s a great idea! Nanny! Sori!” She turned and waved her gift at them. 

“Look! Look what Azreal got me! Look at it!” She showed off her new outfit proudly.