520 Sols

50 more sols had passed in this small corner of the world, yet 1441 stopped counting a long time ago. He was settled in with Ann now.

Ann was the name the woman he and Soj met on their way back from the South Pole was going by. When 1441 asked for her name on that morning 50 sols ago, he was expecting a number to come out. That didn't happen. Instead, she had presented herself with a name.

Why did I never think of that?

No. 1441 found himself amazed that giving himself a name never crossed his mind. But he decided it was too late for that now.

Currently, for the first time, he was sleeping alone. Ann left early in the morning.

"I have something to take care of. You keep resting; I will be back soon. Love you."

She kissed the sleepy man and let him go back to his dream world.

The empty bed felt weird. Being able to stretch his limbs all he wanted felt nice, but he felt alone. Nevertheless, that didn't stop him from falling back asleep. Yet, he had no way of knowing that the dream he was going to see would have such an effect on him.

...

A silhouette he was familiar with was just standing there. He found himself approaching that silhouette. A red desert was spreading in all directions. He just kept walking.

The closer he got, the clearer the silhouette became. Clearer and clearer until he was able to recognize her. When he did, he felt his whole world turning upside down.

The woman he had not seen in ages was now waiting for him with her arms spread in front of her body, welcoming him.

Little by little, he was getting closer to her. He tried to run faster, but he was barely moving.

The next moment he stumbled and hit the ground. He tried to get up, but there was no need to. His head was now resting on the legs of the woman he was trying to catch.

"There, there. Look at you still going. You are doing so well."

He was amazed at what was going on. The woman he loved was right there. He reached out his arm and touched her face, his fingers playing through her somewhat short hair.

"I...I missed you so much."

He could say nothing more. He wanted to say so much, but words would not get out. Nothing paranormal was going on with him. This is what happens when you burst into tears.

He could not control them. He felt pathetic. The love of his life was right there, yet all he could do was cry.

The woman brought his head to her chest. "Shhh. I am proud of you. For now, just rest here."

The man calmed down and closed his eyes. He gathered his courage; this time he was not going to miss his chance.

"I know it is weird to say it now after all this time. We never needed words of affirmation like this, but... "

He took a long breath before confessing what was already well known.

"I love you."

He finally said it, yet there was no answer from her. He wanted to look up and say it again; he wanted to say it a million times. He felt relieved. He felt safe.

But,

I can't look up. I don't want to look up. I know what I will see. I can't. Not again.

His hunch that something bad would happen had him petrified. That's when he found himself again running towards her. Only this time, behind him was a horde of angry people.

He gave it his all and ran as fast as he could, but the people were catching up.

No, no, no, no. NOT AGAIN! PLEASE! PLEASE NOT AGAIN!

After getting lost in the crowd, everything went dark. He kept going. Pushing around whoever was in his way, he kept fighting the crowd. That's when he looked up and saw it.

Right there, impaled on top of a cross, he saw it again. No body. No smile.

There it was, the head of his late wife. It happened again. Again, he could not stop it.

He fell to his knees just looking at it. That's when her eyes opened.

"You just left me here. You never even cared enough to clean up after your own mistakes. And now what? You found yourself a new toy to sleep with? I will never forget you. Never!"

"No, no, no, no, NO NO NO NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO..."

...

In an instant, he opened his eyes and was already out of bed, cold sweats running all over his body. He understood at that moment. He could not lie to himself forever.

"Ah, here I thought I may be able to get away with it..." he said to himself while sitting on the floor next to the bed. Maybe he should have listened to Soj, or maybe he should just ignore everything and keep the status quo. One thing is clear: his heart was not ready to move on.

"If I can even call it a heart at this point." he said, putting his hand over his chest, where a small engine was helping pump the blood through his heavily modified body.

Later, when Ann came home, she found him waiting for her in the kitchen.

"Oh... It is rare for you to do the cooking. Did you do anything bad? haha"

Ann went to grab her morning kiss and then sat herself at the table.

"Not going to say anything? Ok. Let's see what my darling prepared for me."

All the time while they ate. Ann told 1441 about her morning. She told him about how she went for a walk, about what she saw around, and about where she thinks they should go together someday.

1441 did not articulate an answer of more than 3 syllables all this time. When breakfast was taken care of, Ann finally decided to speak up on it. She called him with a heavy voice.

"Dear, is there something you are not telling me?"

"..."

"Dear?"

"..."

"Haha. I see. I see. So that's how it is."

Hearing that, 1441 lifts his face. He felt a sliver of relief realizing that Ann may have already understood the situation. He had hopes that she would make it easy for him. He hoped that she would help him.

"So you want to play the silent game. Ok. Well, two can play this game." she said playfully before falling into silence.

Ignored. Not what he was looking for. Now he had no choice but to speak his mind. He had started on the wrong foot.

"Ann...look. I..."

But the cards were already played. Now, she was the one not even listening.

"I am sorry. I just didn't know how to start. The truth is..."

Refusing to listen further, Ann got up and left. This was clearly not just her playing.

1441 stayed behind to gather his thoughts. He thought once again about staying silent. Maybe if he didn't say anything, they could live out the rest of their days like nothing happened. Maybe he didn't need to worry. Maybe the guilt would just go away.

Tsk. Who am I kidding?

He could not do that to himself. not when he had less than a year left to live.

Going towards the door, he found the silhouette of the lady he had spent the past sols with. She was standing there, grabbing her shoulders with her arms. He could not see the look on her face as she kept her head down, but he could feel the air was not a pleasant one.

"Ann..."

"I DON'T WANT TO HEAR IT."

The sudden outburst left 1441 speechless.

"Just...just leave me alone."

1441 understood. This was not the right time for it.

"Got it. I...I will go out for a bit. Let us both gather our thoughts."

On his way out of the house, the man noticed a small robot floating next to him. A robot he had not spoken to in a long time.

"Soj, please, I want to gather my thoughts alone for a bit. Please, keep an eye on Ann."

The robot just looked at the man, and with an affirmative beep, he went back to the room where the scared lady was.

...

Sitting at the edge of a canyon, 1441 could not find it in himself to relax. A weird sensation kept bugging him.

"I guess this is the first time in a while I am truly alone."

It felt weird. He never considered the robot an actual travel partner. Yet, now that it wasn't next to him, he could not relax.

Looking back on it, to a couple with not long left to live, that robot felt like the kid they could never have.

Imagining the three of them living together for the rest of their days made him laugh. It was a funny idea. Not something he ever thought possible, but he didn't hate it.

He knew that Ann had some unsolved problems. Deep down, he knew things could never last.

"But is this really a reason to give up?"

It just didn't feel right. Giving in to his selfish feelings. He had somebody else now. He couldn't keep living only for himself.

"Ok. Guess I have to solve this somehow."

A new mission. That is what he needed. He understood it now. He got up. He was ready to go back. He was ready to go home. He would help Ann. He would build the family he had never had. He would fix it all. This was his last chance. He would not mess it up again. Even if the end was close, here and now, he would start anew.

While getting up, he was already imagining a life with them. The laughs, the good times, the bittersweet parting. He was ready for it. All of it. That's why he would go back and...

He felt a hand on his back. The next thing he saw in front of him was the fast-approaching bottom of the canyon.

Confused, he managed to turn around, only to see the blue sunset sky and a familiar silhouette.

She should not be here. How did she find him? Why did she come? Was Soj not supposed to keep an eye on her?

"Why am I falling..."

That was the last thing on 1441's mind. The next second, everything went black.