Discussing DSPCMs after all

"Welcome back! I'm still depressed, but slightly less so thanks to knowing someone else was just humiliated far worse than me. Anyway, let's zoom in a bit on some of the names on the DSPCM list behind me," Kisha grinned as images of various DSPCMs flashed on screen. "Now full disclaimer, not all the nations here have every single DSPCM spot they've been allocated filled, plus we're only listing DSPCMs that are competing in the tournament. Even though Henrik's here in Budapest, he's not competing, so sorry, you don't get your face shown on screen today. But your fellow Prussian DSPCMs do."

The screen zoomed in on images of Hans-Ulrich, Magdalena, and Sibylle.

"Talk about an iron fist. Nearly every Prussian DSPCM other than Henrik is loyal to Prussia's kaiser, Red Reaper. Talk about stress for the WWCF. And speaking of stress..."

The images of the Prussian DSPCMs vanished as an image of Stressaður appeared.

"This guy is Iceland's only DSPCM, and it looks like it's stressing him out. But one guy who doesn't seem stressed is Mongolia's Jochi," Kisha stated as Stressaður's image vanished and was replaced by images of Jochi, Qojin, Orda, and Checheyigen. "Mongolia's getting bigger by the day, might even be as big now as the Mongol Empire of old, and with that, it means the WWCF needs to allocate it more DSPCM spots, though naturally no nation can have more than 6 DSPCMs. That's actually the number of DSPCMs India is getting, but shockingly enough, they haven't allocated those spots yet. But speaking of nations growing and having to allocate new DSPCM spots..."

The images of the Mongolian DSPCMs vanished as images of Noa, Golda, Benny, and Tsehay flashed on screen.

"Bet you're all familiar with the Israeli Kingdom of Simien's Noa, but did you know she's also a DSPCM, and that Tsehay from the Ethiopian team is about to become one after the tournament ends? Well now you do. Oh and speaking of Ethiopia, it's only DSPCM is Tola," Kisha stated as the Simien DSPCMs' vanished and were replaced by an image of Tola. "Lots of nations only got a small number of DSPCMs, and the reason for that is the chess power ranking. The more of a chess powerhouse a nation is, the more DSPCM spots they'll be given. And one nation that managed to drastically raise it's chess power level was good ole Bosnia and Herzegovina."

Tola's image vanished from the screen as images of Tvrtko, Šejla, Esma, Mirsada, and Azra flashed on screen.

"Bosnia's really been making waves in the chess world, thanks in no small part to DSPCMs Tvrtko and Šejla, as well as Miralem and Ognjen. Refik's also gaining elo too, and thanks to that, the country managed to snag 5 whole DSPCM spots. Oh, guess I should also explain that aside from the limit of 6 spots, there's no restriction on the number of DSPCM spots a nation can have, nor are they at risk of losing said spots if their chess power ranking suddenly goes down. Though the exception is places like city states like San Marino, Singapore, you get the idea. They only get one DSPCM spot no matter what. Speaking of nations, pardon me for the tangent, but I just feel now is a good time to mention that quite a few world leaders are present here at the tournament."

All the images of the Bosnian DSPCMs, with the exception of Šejla's, vanished from the screen as images of various world leaders such as Miralem, Ognjen, Red Reaper, Tsar Grigori, Jad, Orit, Gudit, Alexandre, Đurađ, Fjolla, Heather, Valve, Ores, Vlatka, Sophia, Leah, Laila, Aydan, and many others flashed on screen.

Offstage, Nikolina began to scowl in fury as she zeroed in on one of the images. "Why the hell are they showcasing her with the world leaders!? She's not a leader!" she snarled under her breath.

Gorana began to sweat buckets. If the woman Nikolina was glaring at, or rather the country she headed itself was brought up in the interview, there would be no stopping Nikolina from blowing her top.

"Lots of world leaders, but why don't we focus on this guy right here," Kisha stated as the screen zoomed in on the picture of a bald man with a dark green goatee and mustache named, Jarosław Abgarowicz, and a man with spiky blonde hair and a mustache named, Xawery Wykształciuchy.

These two were Poland's prime minister and president, respectively.

"Now y'all remember what happened with Poland's Jadwiga back in round 3? Well Jarosław's her daddy. Ironic considering Maria's the bald one, but Xawery is both hers and Wiesława's father. I actually wanted to try interviewing Jarosław since Jadwiga's been avoiding me like crazy ever since the incident, but since he only speaks Polish, we'd also need to get a translator, and there aren't many you can get on such short notice... Should have asked Okisato to stay, but then again, he'd probably bolt if I mentioned the daddy of a girl he played a part in traumatizing was coming on set, but could you imagine the drama if we had gotten an encounter like that!? I'm kicking myself for not thinking about that. Oh, and here's Poland's DSPCMs," Kisha shrugged as the images of Xawery and Jarosław vanished and were briefly replaced with images of Ursula, Zosia, and Wiesława.

A few seconds later, those three images vanished as images of Fjolla and Venera appeared onscreen. Nikolina's fury began to peak once more, further raising Gorana's stress levels.

"And if you thought me going on a tangent about world leaders would amount to nothing relatable to DSPCMs, Fjolla here is not only Albania's leader, but also a DSPCM on the side, conveniently based in Albania's capitol of Tirana. She really is a hardworking woman, maybe I should try and pull her on for an interview... Nah, she'd probably beat the shit out of me if I tried to do it today, especially after what happened to her at the salon. Venera though, she's chill. But chill doesn't mean she'll just come on for an interview. Guess maybe I could try going to her. Durrës is a pretty nice pace for a vacation. Oh, but she's off-duty from DSPCM duties until the tournament's over... Oh well, Budapest is nice too, plus the WWCF is paying for it all."

Gorana let out a sigh of relief as the images of Fjolla and Venera vanished and images of Zylija and Zhazira appeared on screen. And here's another female world leader that's also a DSPCM, Zylija Azovskaya! Girl's made it into the top 10 richest women in the world club, but she sure doesn't act like it. She's still as sweet and humble, though maybe a tad more eccentric now, but still a nice girl. Maybe I'll swing by Astana once this tournament's over, and we can have a girl's day out together. Oh, and there's Zhazira... We all know she hates me for digging up gossip stories on her client, Allura, though I wouldn't mind if she joined us with Allura and let some juicy gossip slip... Ahem, moving on."

The images of Zylija and Zhazira vanished as images of Arpine and Zabel appeared on screen.

"Now speaking of fellow gossip hunters, my gal pal, Arpine's been tracking Zabel down for months, all to find out for sure whether or not she really is the legendary Armenia idol known simply as Nino. Look, she's totally Nino. Both me n' Arpine have combed through hours of footage, compared hundreds of photographs and videos with AI assistance, which coupled with Zabel's own actions makes us believe Zabel is 100% Nino, or at the very least, her secret twin."

The images of Arpine and Zabel vanished as images of Anastasia, Oksana, Lyubov, and Ores appeared on screen.

"We know about the drama between Anastasia and Alya, but did you know she isn't Ukraine's only DSPCM? They got a bunch of them, including Ores, who ended up becoming the leader of the country by default, so I heard. He's a nice guy, really funny too. Sucks he's stuck running the country instead of reclining in a beach chair, but I guess he's either good at it or has lots of hair dye, cuz I haven't seen one streak of gray on that guy's hair."

The images of the Ukrainian DSPCMs vanished as images of Nevena and Raĥelo appeared on screen.

"Now I've never seen a name spelled like that before, but then again, I've never seen the letter "ĥ" used much even in Esperanto. What? You didn't know? Mi flue parolas Esperanton. Okisato ne estas la sola poligloto, sed mi konas nur frakcion de la lingvoj, kiujn li konas. La japanan, la anglan, la mandarenan, iom da hispana kaj Esperanto, kaj tio estas ĉio por mi [I'm fluent in Esperanto. Okisato isn't the only polyglot, but I only know a fraction of the langues he knows. Japanese, English, Mandarin, a little Spanish and Esperanto, and that's all for me]. Esperanto lesson aside, Paeonia really is a giant bag of mystery. As the mother of the nation's leader, Nevena just might have all the answers, but trying to get an interview with her is easier said than done. She's not exactly kind to gossip lovers like me. But speaking of folks that will give me an interview..."

The images of Nevena and Raĥelo vanished as images of Evangelia and a girl with long black hair named, Daphne Vakalopoulos, appeared on screen.

"Take a good look at these two. They just might be coming on the show later. Though I'm not sure if they'll get their chance in the spotlight, so I'll spitball a tidbit about them each here. Evangelia apparently has a childhood friend, a boy, by the way, who constantly upsets her with his goofball antics. Sounds like a classic love story to me. And Daphne, she's a skater girl. Really good too. Even skates nude for show.  Guess she's an exhibitionist despite her quiet demeanor."

The images of Evangelia and Daphne vanished as images of Julia, Anne, and Retskcrib flashed on screen.

"Here's Denmark's DSPCMs. Nothing of note, though I hear Retskcrib is constantly cosplaying as an Ogelland character. Moving on."

The images of the Danish DSPCMs vanished as images of Rózsa, Jolán, Tünde, Randy, a grumpy looking man with short gray hair and a beard named, Morty Szarka, and a bearded old man with wild gray hair named, Nándor Nyisztor, appeared on screen.

"Our host, Hungary, has got all 6 of their DSPCMs fielded. Makes sense, but it's impressive all are on the A-teams instead of the B and C teams. Hungary is a chess powerhouse after all."

The images of the Hungarian DSPCMs vanished as images of Justin, Grizzley, and a red-haired girl in a beanie named, Gwen Smith, flashed on screen.

"Ah yes, Justin Beaver, menace to mop buckets everywhere and a good source of income for the entire gossip industry. Man just keeps giving as I hear he's been hunkered up in his room, starving to death. I don't know everything, but it sounds like he's refusing to eat or drink anything out of fear he'll be cursed if he does so before the 25th, which is 3 days from now. Man must have pissed in the wrong mop bucket, Sour Mon the pissed off's one, if I'm making a guess. Speaking of which..."

The images of the Canadian DSPCMs vanished as an image of Camilla appeared on screen.

"New Zealand's only got a single DSPCM so far, but she's got a powerhouse of a rating. Seems the rest of her team hates her for some reason though. Wonder why."

The image of Camilla vanished as images of Friedl, Wolfgang, and Arii appeared on screen.

"Speaking of being hated by your own team, I hear Friedl here has been hated by nearly everyone, mainly due to her appearance. Don't get that though. Sure, her fashion sense kind of sucks, but she's just bald and covered in tattoos. There's actually someone competing here COMPLETELY covered in tattoos, bald too, but we'll get to her in another segment. But speaking of bald girls..."

The images of the Austrian DSPCMs vanished as images of Ugnė and Eglė flashed on screen.

"Bet you all thought Zezz was coming up next. Well not yet, first up is one of her biggest partner's in crime, and self-proclaimed and accepted girlfriend, Ugnė Šaulytė. True to her name, girl's a gifted markswoman, and is the ace of Lithuania's national paintball team. There's also rumors that she's secretly a sweeper, which I'd totally believe given her skills. And of course, when it comes to musical skills, momma Eglė proves 50 ain't gonna sour her sick beats. Girl's also got a fine beauty routine too. Keep it up, girl."

The images of Ugnė and Eglė vanished as images of Radina and Kalina appeared on screen.

"Oh, Пустоно лудо и младо, ищи ми майчо армаган, ищи ми майчо армаган, чорни си очи да му дам. Дали да ги дам, че как да ги дам, га ма майка гльода от там. Дали да ги дам, че как да ги дам, га ма майка гльода от там [Wild crazy and young. Wants a gift from me, mom. Wants a gift from me, mom, to give my black eyes to him. Whether I give them to him. How I give them to him. When my mother is watching me from there. Whether I give them to him. How I give them to him. When my mother is watching me from there], WHOO! Can't beat banger music, and these girls really know how to spruce up an old Bulgarian folk song. They also provide a gossip mind for reporters like me, so thank you for paying my bills."

The images of Radina and Kalina vanished as images of Muazzez and Jale flashed on screen.

"We all know our favorite limelight hog, Zezz, and her unofficial girlfriend, Jale, so no need to go into too much detail here. I covered her bald makeover extensively on my podcast, which you should totally check out. But speaking of DSPCMs that are also commentators..."

Muazzez and Jale's images vanished as images of Lucie, Jiřina, Libuše, and Jarmila flashed on screen along with an image of Aya.

"No, Aya isn't a Czechoslovakian DSPCM, but she is Ecuador's only DSPCM. But considering she swept the Czechs at the Bermuda party last night, I felt I do both of them at once. Could you imagine if these teams clashed in the tournament? They are close in the standings, so it's possible."

The images of Aya and the Czechoslovakian DSPCMs vanished as image of Margarita, Marco, Gloria, Doge, and Pistachio all flashed on screen.

"Oh, Italy, if it's chess or soccer, there's always some cheating scandal surrounding you. I feel for Laura though, poor girl really hasn't been herself lately. Really should see if she's around once the show is over. Oh, and we're not dating, just friends. I'm not gonna become part of my own rumor mill, dammit! But speaking of scandals, though I guess this is more of a beef..."

The images of the Italian DSPCMs vanished as images of Maila and Külli appeared on screen.

"It's time to welcome a DSPCM that not only has a beef with a DSPCM from Estonia, but also a fellow Serbian one as well. Nikolina, Gorana, come on down!"

Nikolina and Gorana stepped out onto the set and sat down on the sofa. Seeing Maila's image gave Gorana some hope the focus would mainly be on her, but Kisha's mention of the feud between her and Nikolina made her pessimistic.

"As long as we get through this without throwing hands or drawing blood, I'll consider it a win," Gorana thought.