As far South as you can go

As soon as Nikolina and Gorana were comfortably seated, Kisha began the interview. "So Nikolina, heard ya had a beef with Estonian DSPCM, Maila Rõivas. What was it all about?"

"Oh that? Simple, she claims she's a savior, yet she hasn't saved jack shit. She's just a pretender unlike the soldiers who saved me from the verge of death back when Albanians ravaged my Serbian homeland," Nikolina stated.

Gorana began to get nervous. This answer from Nikolina was obviously going to lead to the powder keg exploding, yet she remained ever hopeful Kisha would show some restraint.

"You were saved by soldiers?"

"Yes, it was during the Kosovo war when those despicable Albanians invaded Serbia and tried to make it their own. I was barely a few months old, yet I remember everything clearly... FILTH! Those putrid shit roaches murdered my family and tossed me into a smoldering fire. The scars I received on my back... They are still here, even though my body has grown..."

Nikolina then rose and undid her bra strap in order to fully expose her backside. While the tattoo of Serbia's emblem dominated most of said area, closer inspection would reveal some burn scars within the eagle.

"Had it not been for those brave Serbian soldiers that searched through the burning wreckage for survivors, I'd have died. It infuriates me when people call Serbians war criminals, Albanians are the true root of evil in this world!" Nikolina scowled as she redid her bra strap.

Gorana let out an angry sigh. "No Nikolina, Albanians are NOT evil. Serbia also committed the most war crimes in the Yugoslav wars."

Nikolina rose and began to stare down Gorana, yet Gorana wasn't intimidated in the slightest. In fact, this was not what she was afraid of being brought up as that was a fight she was proudly willing to stand her ground on.

"The DESPERs are a truly vile weapon. Just look at what they've allowed the authoritarian tsar of Russia to achieve. The Mongol Empire has now returned thanks to them, leading to many countries being gobbled up and subjected to newfound tyranny. Same goes for the Middle East, as the Neo-Babylonian Empire is only seeking control of the region rather than improve it's citizen's way of life. And lest we forget about the demon and convicted war criminal from Čačak, Ratimir Ratković."

"Yeah, like, fuck war criminals. And that war criminal you allowed on your team is like, the worst," a voice growled.

Nikolina turned to notice Katie and Anastasia had made their way onto the set. "Why are they here?"

"Uh, I actually wanted to interview them for other things, but my... Ahem, humiliation at the hands of a deranged pervert, messed up the schedule. So this is the only time we can slot them in," Kisha stated.

"Huh? Did you not call me here to talk about how bad the DESPERs are?" Anastasia asked.

"No way, I want the scoop on your beef with Alya!"

Anastasia shot Kisha a look of pure disgust. "No comment, you drama whore."

"And like, what was the purpose of my invite?" Katie asked.

"The deets on Kuon's federation swap, since she herself refused the interview."

"So, am I like, just an informant to you? Rude!"

Despite the heated argument breaking out, Gorana was actually glad the topic of discussion was shifting away from Serbia.

"Alright! Enough blabbering! We're moving on! So, Gorana, Nikolina, you're Serbian DSPCMs right? Where ya from?" Kisha asked.

Gorana's heart began to thump. Bloodshed looked to be inevitable now. "Novi Sad," she stated.

"Tutin, but I'm hoping to eventually set up a new secret puzzle cafe in North Mitrovica, Serbia," Nikolina proudly declared.

To those unfamiliar with Serbian geography, the statement wouldn't raise any eyebrows, but for those that were...

Gorana let out a heavy sigh. While she could have chosen to remain silent, her moral compass refused to let her do so. "North Mitrovica is NOT part of Serbia it's a town in Kosovo-"

SMASH!

"КОСОВО ПРИПАДА СРБИЈИ [KOSOVO BELONGS TO SERBIA]!" Nikolina fumed as she slugged Gorana in the face, downing her instantly.

"Um, like, not cool! Like, Kosovo is like, a totally independent-"

"УМУКНИ, АМЕРИЧКА КУРВО! ВИ ГАДОВИ СПОНЗОРИШЕТЕ ЈЕБЕНЕ АЛБАНЦЕ И ПОМАЖЕТЕ У УНИШТАВАЊУ СРПСКЕ КУЛТУРЕ [SHUT UP, AMERICAN WHORE! YOU BASTARDS SPONSOR THE FUCKING ALBANIANS AND AIDE IN THE DESTRUCTION OF SERBIAN CULTURE]!"

Even Katie was a bit startled by how much rage and hatred was emanating from Nikolina. This was what Gorana was hoping would be avoided; discussion on Kosovo. Nikolina was actually a native of North Mitrovica, then known simply as Mitrovica at the time of her birth. Even though she now resided in Tutin and was serving as the DSPCM there, she had long voiced her desire to open a new secret puzzle cafe in her hometown, and with Serbia being allocated 5 DSPCM slots and not all of them currently being filled, she had a chance at fulfilling her dream.

However, the WWCF was one of the entities that recognized Kosovo's independence, and as such, Kosovo was allocated a DSPCM slot, which naturally was in it's capitol of Pristina. Kosovo's president was also a Desperado, simply on the basis of preventing Serbian Desperados from challenging her with control of Kosovo on the line. Nikolina herself was a Desperado, meaning she could not subject the Kosovar president to a DESPER match, much to her angst. But naturally, it didn't stop her from trying.

Gorana meanwhile was a Serbian who recognized Kosovo's independence, which often put her at odds with some of her fellow countrymen and women. Yet she was a woman who refused to lie about her beliefs, both a virtue and flaw in some scenarios.

As Gorana laid on the ground, clutching her broken nose, things only got worse as Fjolla, Yekta, and Blerta stormed in, having heard Nikolina's outburst while passing by.

"There's two things that really trigger me, you know. One is when people call me a "gangster's whore", and the other is when Shitheaded Serbs like you try and claim Kosovo as your own!" Fjolla glared as she clenched her fist tightly.

Nikolina's glare, however, was directed at Blerta, who in turn, was shooting her a death glare of her own.

"So got something to say, you hairless filth? Oh wait, I forgot you cut out your own tongue in the most brazen act of lunacy I've seen since the nations of Yugoslav began holding referendums to leave. You were actually saying some true cold hard facts about-"

"OHGNGHO NGH BLAGH NGH BLUGH [KOSOVO IS NOT YOUR PROPERTY]!" Blerta shouted, sadly unable to form a coherent sentence due to her lacking a tongue.

"Ahh, what's wrong, filth? Can't refute me because I'm right? Well I'll say it again, КОСОВО ПРИПАДА СРБИЈИ [KOSOVO BELONGS TO SERBIA]!"

Fjolla looked ready to kill as she chucked off her jacket and took a combative stance as Gorana began to tear up. "Why? Why must I be honest to a fault? I don't regret my beliefs, but I don't want to see bloodshed," she thought as she tried to rise.

But before things could escalate, 5 women stormed into the studio, causing all heads to turn towards them. The only problem was that these women were from Kosovo's women's team.

"Should've like, guessed. A fem-chetnik radical war crime loving flesh heap. Sucks the KLA wasn't able to fry you as a baby," a beautiful woman with long blonde hair with pink highlights scoffed.

Despite always wearing a casual outfit consisting of skintight purple jeans, pink platform sneakers, and a black tank top, this woman was in fact Kosovo's president, Teuta Kaja. She hated Serbians just as much as Nikolina hated Albanians, and was one of Kosovo's staunchest nationalists, second only to perhaps one of the very women that had accompanied her, Albulena Ulqinaku.

Wearing nothing but red and black attire, Albulena was so hardcore, she shaved her entire head bald, eyebrows and eyelashes too, all so she could tattoo it along with her entire face, red, to serve as a backdrop for the Black eagle tattoo on her forehead and the Kosovo Liberation Army emblem on the back of her head. And that wasn't all. Various black eagle tattoos were present all over her body, but concealed on her back was a tattoo of Greater Albania, an irredentist and nationalist concept that seeks to annex the lands that many Albanians consider to form their national homeland, which was naturally offensive to many.

"Serbs really are a putrid lot. Madam prez, shall I sing it out to better get the point across?" Albulena snickered.

"We bout to sing? Hell yeah, I've been practicing so I can make my country proud," a girl with a black mullet and red buzzed sides named, Violeta Hysenbelliu, grinned.

However, the two remaining women didn't look too thrilled about any of this, with the irony being that they were both Albulena's triplet sisters. Unlike their sister, both Shpresa and Luljeta both had hair, both sporting the same shoulder-length dreadlock-like cut, albeit Shpresa's was pink, while Luljeta's was dark green.

These two were also more of the peace-loving type, or at least Shpresa was. Luljeta more so hated doing anything other than browsing social media on her phone. But choir practice was on, as Teuta gave the OK.

With a deranged grin on her face, Albulena whipped out her phone and began playing some music before singing at the top of her lungs, right up in Nikolina's face. "Jo, s'e l'shoj, oh, asni pllam toke! Dy gisht bar te arkilotes! Se k'tu jam dem baba dem! Për Kosovë, jap shpirtin tem! Se k'tu jam dem baba dem! Për Kosovë, jap shpirtin tem [No I will not abandon my land! Not even an inch! Oh mother you're saying 'goodbye' to a soldier! Because here I’m from ancient times, for Kosovo I'll give my breath! Because here I’m from ancient times, for Kosovo I'll give my breath]!"

This naturally infuriated Nikolina to the point where she threw a punch, which was easily sidestepped by Albulena. It looked like there was no stopping the bloodbath now, until Raymond himself appeared before all.

"Shall we settle this matter in chess, or will you all vacate the set?" he asked.

Nikolina was more than willing to fight, but none of the others seemed eager to take her on, mainly due to the fact that when it came to chess, there wasn't anyone present that could hold a candle to her, except maybe Gorana. Everyone kept that to themself though as they silently filed out.

"Running away? You Albanians really are-"

"Nikolina! Stop it... Just... calm down," Gorana trembled as she rose to her feet.

Nikolina shot her a nasty glare before clicking her tongue ans storming off. Kisha meanwhile sat dumbfounded at how bad things had gotten. Even a drama-obsessed woman like her had been exposed to a bit more than what she could comfortably handle.

"Well... That was something... So, Katie, Anastasia, feel like-"

"Sorry, that conversation, made me a little uncomfortable," Anastasia trembled as she headed off.

"Yeah, like, I'm a proud activist and all, but what I just saw... I kind of want to get a breath of fresh air," Katie somberly nodded as she too headed out.

"Gorana?"

"Sorry, Kisha, but I'm done with the interview," Gorana frowned as she left the set.

"Um, we're gonna take a break. S- Sorry about that," Kisha nervously chuckled as the stream went to commercial break.