What the heck? I'm being reincarnated with some absurd skill!

Today was a day like any other, or so I originally believed. I woke up as usual, did my normal morning routine, went to school, and then worked at my local café. Just an ordinary day of my life.

So how then, did I end up kneeling in front of an angry goddess? Well, let me back up just a little.

On this day, like any other, I changed into my work uniform. Unlike some cosplay cafés, we actually wore very simple clothing designed for a mix of practicality and formality. I say we, but really I never saw any of the other employees. Ours was a calm, cozy café. Today was, as usual, a quiet day with only a few customers. I sometimes wondered how we managed to stay afloat, but apparently we didn't actually need many customers.

I quietly prepared some coffee for our regular guests. Of course, I politely asked what they wanted, but our regulars almost never changed their orders. One older gentleman, who preferred sitting in the corner, liked to drink café au lait as he watched the peaceful scene. Apparently, it reminded him of his past. The young man who came here for his breaks enjoyed a nice cold brew with a hint of lemon flavor and plenty of milk. It provided peace of mind for his return to work at a demanding company that frequently overworked their employees.

The lady who sat with her husband enjoyed a sweet latte while her husband enjoyed black coffee. I loved making little latte artwork and the lady always appreciated my drawings. She was secretly into a certain type of romance and each day, I would draw another scene for her. I hoped to become a comic artist someday. Of course, her husband pretended not to notice. Her husband drank his coffee black, but in truth, he hated black coffee. I would always secretly slip in some spices or make his snacks just a little sweeter than normal. Of course, his wife pretended not to notice. They were such a loving couple.

We also had our irregular regular who was a somewhat mature gentleman and came here for our sandwiches. They were really good if I do say so myself. I personally prepared our sandwiches and the owner always ordered quality ingredients. It made me worry about our profits, but somehow we managed to stay in the green despite the quality.

So what was different about today? A gentleman in a white business suit walked in a few hours into my shift. That is when everything began to sour.

The boisterous gentleman entered the café with a laugh as he talked on a phone. Without waiting, he walked over to a table and sat down, waving me down. Of course, our guests are free to pick whatever seat they desired, but something about the man made me feel somewhat uneasy.

Walking over, I asked for his order. His response was to put down his phone for a moment and, in almost a whisper, said, "I'd love to have a coffee, black, with a side of you." The nerve.
"Sir, we are not that sort of establishment."
The man laughed at that, but somehow managed to say, "Then just a coffee for now. Let me know if you change your mind, I'll even throw in a perk or two for you."

Totally annoying, right? These types show up from time to time, but as a professional, I went and prepared his coffee without escalating the situation. It was when I returned to serve his coffee that things really turned south. The moment I set down the coffee, the man copped a feel. Of course, I immediately moved away, but the damage was already done. 

Moments later, before I could reprimand the gentleman, a car crashed into the café, sending glass everywhere, but that was not what killed me. I somehow managed to dodge the flying glass and the car. The glass struck our coffee machine, somehow sending boiling coffee towards me. That was... also not what killed me. I managed to avoid that by rolling out of the way. Then, several lights exploded due to stray glass striking them, sending glass all over the floor and drowning the café in darkness. This too, I survived.

So what killed me? Well, our burner tipped over, lighting the counter on fire, so I rushed to put out the fire, but before I could finish putting out the fire, one our bottles of whiskey... the cork popped, ricocheting towards me. I quickly evaded this disaster too, only to slip on some spilt coffee, slam my head into the counter, and pass out. It seems that I ended up turning into quite the barbeque by the time the owner managed to put out the fire. Umm... Sorry owner for making you see me like that.

So I died and ended up in a vast, white room. With an infuriated goddess glaring at me and the gentleman in a white suit behind her with an apologetic pose. Yeah, all that misfortune leading up to my death? Totally a jealous wife throwing divine calamity at me because her husband copped a feel on me. Isn't there a word for that? Yandere or something?

"Do you understand what you did wrong now?"

"Yes ma'am!" <No, I don't really get why I'm being punished for what your husband did.>

"It is because you are too beautiful, you dolt."

"I see..." <Right, she can read my mind. Just for the record, I don't think I'm particularly beautiful though. I'm just an ordinary girl. Nothing compared to a goddess anyways. I wonder how many girls her husband has hit on and died because of that.>

"Five thousand, two hundred, and forty-three, including you."

"Just how much of a philanderer is your husband? Oops, pretend I didn't say that?"

I couldn't help but shout out at the absurd number, but I immediately regretted it considering the goddess before me clearly had control over my fate. I trembled in fear as I looked at the ground, hoping the goddess would ignore my words, but the goddess seemed to glare at me wordlessly for several moments. Finally, after my clothes ended up soaked in my sweat, the goddess deigned to continue speaking.

"Whatever, the sight of you makes me sick, but I'm a kind and gentle goddess, so I'm going to give you a chance."

<Would a kind and gentle goddess really murderer five thousand and some number of girls just because her husband hit on them? Wouldn't it be better to fix her husband? Like, get him a leash or something.>

"Do you want a chance or not?"

"Yes ma'am!"

"Though that might be an idea worth pursuing."

Okay, I totally just heard her whispering something kind of creepy. Also, would this goddess please not read my thoughts? I'm like trying not to think bad thoughts, but you know when you are really trying hard to not think about something and you just think about it more? Yeah, not the best thing to happen when you are in front of a mind reading goddess with a penchant for murdering girls.

"I will grant you a special ability and reincarnate you. As for what ability to give you... What kind of ability would you like?"

"Well, that is unexpectedly kind of you. I would like to live a somewhat long life, so maybe something that keeps me safe?"

"Very well, I will give you a personal PTRD-41 and an ammo box. You can load whatever you store into the ammo box into the PTRD-41. It will never break or run out of ammo, but you may appreciate being able to load other materials. After all, you'll only be able to use the PTRD-41."

"Sorry, a what?"

No, seriously, a what? The phrase ammo box sounded familiar, but there is no way that this goddess planned to do something as crazy as give me a weapon and expect me to defend myself, right? Also, that last sentence worried me a little.

"A PTRD-41. A very popular anti-material rifle from the second World War of Earth 92. It uses a slide to reduce the recoil and is effective to 300 meters. Be thankful I'm giving you such a great ability."

"Pardon me, but you do realize I'm just an ordinary girl, right? I haven't even heard of this PTRD-41 you speak of. I've never even touched a rifle before! What even is a rifle anyways?"
"It is a weapon. Very effective for self defense."

"Nonono. You can't just expect an ordinary girl to use a weapon like that. I'm a human girl. I can't just replace my arm with a weapon."

Like, hello? I'm a human, not some crazy cyborg soldier. There is no way I can live my life with some weapon attached to my arm. Seriously, just how much of a grudge did this goddess have against me? I suspected even her "kindness" was little more than harassment.

"Oh, I forgot. Your world is like that. No worries, you hold it with your hands. I'll throw in some knowledge so off you go."

And just like that, the ground beneath me disappeared unceremoniously. As I screamed in fear, I saw the gentleman point at his pocket and mouthing something and that was the last thing I saw before being thrown into a pitch black darkness.

Several minutes of falling later, I saw a bright light and falling into that light, I found myself blinded for several moments. Once I recovered my sight, I looked around to find myself rather far away from the ground. A bunch of information burst into my head, sending me reeling in pain, but I didn't have time to deal with that, the ground was rushing closer!  Searching through the new knowledge being etched into my head, I looked for something that might save my life. 

Almost immediately after, I grabbed the rifle from my back and began firing it, not even concerned with how I managed to hold such a heavy object or how the rifle found itself on my back. I mean, I was falling to my death so a few minor details seemed rather insignificant to me. I mean, compared to falling to death, everything else seemed pretty minor!

Of course, firing it didn't seem to do me any good. It may have slowed me just a little, but the ground still continued to fly towards me. Even with infinite ammo, it took time to reload and fire. Where did the ammo appear from? I was in no shape to figure that out. Rather, I didn't have time to think about all the useless thoughts.

My thoughts raced for a solution and I thought parachutes! I had cloth on me, I could definitely spare my socks and... I didn't have any spare clothing so that was a no go. If I was going to die, I'd rather die with clothes on! Wait, why was I thinking about death?

Wait, I heard that if you crashed into some bushes and trees, you might survive better as long as the branches didn't impale you. Perhaps I could try landing in some bushes. Or nope. Definitely not. No trees anywhere close enough! Too late now anyways; I braced for impact... and everything went black for the third time that day.