The Top of the Class...

Living in the present moment is something that my parents told me to always do. I listened and tried to comprehend it, but to this day, I’m still not sure if it’s the best of advice. I mean, they put so much emphasis on studying and academics, and for what? My future, correct? Would that be considered living in the moment as well? I don’t think so.

There’s probably a different meaning that I can’t quite perceive yet, since I’m just an inexperienced, impressionable teenager.

I was also taught to “focus on what is pertinent to me” instead of directing my attention towards other trivial matters, like politics, celebrities, and, of course, romance. When I say “trivial matters,” I’m referring to the things that my parents deem worthless on my path to success in life. “What is pertinent to me” refers to things like education and whatever else there is that can lead me to the success that they envision. Actually, it might just be education and education alone. It’s hard to think of anything else that would be beneficial in their eyes. So yes, when my parents think of success, they think of a future where I become an independent, conscientious, capable, well-to-do individual, solely from excelling in school.

You’re probably thinking that they’re extremely controlling and authoritarian, but I’d say you’re wrong about that. Those are simply their opinions on the world. That is the advice they have given me. I can’t tell you if it’s good or bad yet, since, as I said before, I’m really just a naive young man. Still, as their son, I had no choice but to adopt those views and opinions on the world. After all, they’re the ones who raised me.

I have hope that my parents know what’s best for me. And honestly, I can understand why they value what they do. I’ve heard stories of kids being pressured by their parents in the same way that I have been, and they end up dabbling in some very concerning stuff.

Some of them become delinquents.

Some of them start doing drugs.

Some of them run away from home.

It’s surprising—that’s the complete opposite of what their parents wanted for them. Maybe the kids see what they’re doing as an act of rebellion, as well as an escape.

“I’m finally having fun!”

That could very well be what they think. That’s what they believe “fun” is. But don’t worry. As impressionable and naive as I am, I still understand that those things will get you nothing but temporary enjoyment, if even that.

Therefore, I wouldn’t call what I’m in a predicament, but rather a crossroads of sorts. It’s the same for most other adolescents. The difference is that I try to be as self-aware as I can, giving more credibility to those who I see to have more life experience than me. I could be missing out on a lot of things, but I’m certain that those things will not be beneficial for me. They won’t help me succeed.

You know what’s funny? If you asked me what my definition of success is, I wouldn’t be able to give you an answer. It’s funny because it pretty much nullifies everything I’ve just said. Talk about pitiful.

Don’t pity me. It’s fine. Regardless of whether I manage to grab hold of this fleeting illusion of success, I understand that, if the results of my beliefs and values are not what I hope for them to be, I can change them at any time.

I’m not a puppet, you know.