A Look Back

Even from a young age he knew that he wasn't supposed to be alive.

Of course a child born in Central City could never have been the product of a loving relationship. His father was an immature teenager who came to Central City from Fukushima, which had become the country's "technical paradise". His mother was a prostitute who traveled from place to place in order to find work.

He could figure out what happened from there. The two of them messed around, accidentally made a child and were forced to take on adult responsibilities. His mother had no intention of caring for the child after she gave birth, and his father had even told him that they both considered aborting him. Nevertheless, he came into the world on March 20th, 2162. His mom disappeared and left him with his father.

Because of this, all he had ever known was the same old dingy building, the same old absent father, and the same old window view. His dad was what's referred to as "Lust Drunk", people who contribute nothing to society and live solely for the purpose of indulging in sexual relationships. He wasn't allowed to go outside and he was hit if he was caught sneaking out.

His dad was rarely home, and when he was it was just unpleasant. He was a rude and scary guy to be around, especially when he was angry. That's probably why he developed anger issues at a young age. Watching the only adult in his life act so aggressively towards everyone and everything set a bad example.

As he grew older he became somewhat of a womanizer, caused by his interest in the random women his dad would bring home. He hated his father, but he was becoming more and more like him every day. That was what made him the most angry.

Though COT's global takeover wouldn't happen until 2177, COT had already taken complete control of Japan in 2152. The corruption of Japan had already been taking place many years before he was born, so he had no idea what regular life was like.

He remembered vividly the moment he realized their world would never be the same. It was a crisp morning in October and his father had been gone for a few days. He turned on the TV to look at the "Chrome Tech" channel which played live updates on COT construction sites in Japan. He mostly watched for the interviews with pretty women across Japan which were played during what would usually be add slots.

Instead of the usual technological construction site breakdown though there was a news report.

An old man with white hair was broadcasting from COT's news tower.

"Japanese citizens should be aware that COT has succeeded in putting all countries under Japan's control. All previously undefeated countries including the United States, Russia and Saudi Arabia have been handed over to our government."

The man continued to talk about the political details of the takeover. He knew this was happening, it had been going on for months already. COT had been slowly taking control of smaller countries and making deals with leaders for the ownership of their land. The world was weakened due to the collapse of societal peace, and COT knew how to take advantage of that.

There was no escaping COT now. They owned the world.

He turned off the TV and sat in silence for a while. He had always loved looking at pictures of other countries online. It was an escape from the bleak city he was trapped in.

He was filled with a rage far beyond his own control. How could they do this to him? He had nowhere to go.

Without thinking he got up and left the small apartment, slamming the door behind him. He didn't need a key because he knew he wouldn't be coming back. He glanced at the name "Kawano" that was hastily written on the name plaque outside the apartment in permanent ink.

He stormed down the hall, running down each flight of stairs until he got to the ground level. There were a few homeless men sleeping in the lobby but nobody was going to stop him from leaving.

His mind was racing and he wasn't thinking logically. He wanted to destroy things to release all the tension built up inside of him. If he had to kill a few people to get out his anger, he would. When it was all over he would kill himself.

Looking back on it, he wasn't sure what exactly he spent the whole day doing, but he caused a lot of damage. He attempted to light a house on fire, but the people camping there put it out shortly after he'd left the area. He stole from and vandalized buildings and even attacked a few people who were passed out from drugs on the street.

By the time night came, he was tired and depressed.

He decided to follow the bright rotating light on top of a well known business tower. June tower was one of the last structures built in Central City, meaning it was also the nicest. It was known as the "beacon" though because of the blue light at the top. It stretched thirty feet above the top of the tower and was viewable from any spot in the city.

It's purpose was to point out the city for people living outside. With anything that mysterious though, rumors are bound to spread. People said that those who's hearts were hurting would be drawn to the beacon, and if they made it to the top of the tower the stairs to heaven would appear for them.

He knew it was just a stupid story, but he wearily walked on towards the beacon regardless. If he was going to die anyways he wanted to at least see that light in person. It was the first thing he saw when he woke up, and it was the last thing he saw when he slept. So in a way, it felt like the beacon was calling him to end his life.

After a long walk he made it to the back of the tower. Entering the tower without an ID badge was illegal. He found the ladder on the side of the building that he'd heard of in the story. The tower was extremely tall and the ladder went all the way to the top.

He took a deep breath and put his hand on the ladder, lifting his foot onto the first rung. His heart was pounding hard. If he was caught climbing the tower he could get into a lot of trouble. Worse, if he fell from the ladder he would probably die. He wanted to take his life decisively, not by accident. He continued climbing and his grip on the rungs got tighter and tighter the higher he got.

Strong gusts of wind threatened to blow him off. Halfway through the climb his foot slipped off the ladder.

"Fuck!!" he yelled, his legs flailing beneath him. Panic set in as he tried to find his footing again. His foot found where it was supposed to be and he sighed with relief. He waited for a moment to regain his composure, then he continued climbing.

When he made it to the top he pulled himself onto the roof and looked around. The beacon was in the middle of the roof, shining just as brightly as ever. It was so bright that he couldn't look directly at it without the blue circle at the top imprinting it's light in his eyes.

"This is...so stupid," he said out loud. He kicked an empty can next to the light which rolled towards the edge of the roof and was stopped by a bump around the edge. "ARGH!" he yelled with frustration.

He yelled at loud as he could, banging his head against the beacon and gripping it with his hands. He wanted to jump off the roof, but now that he was up there he was getting scared. That angered him- the fact that he was beginning to regret his choices.

"God...God just kill me already! There is no fucking heaven!!" he yelled angrily.

Even though the story wasn't true, there was a part of him that had been hoping it was. Hoping that maybe those pearly stairs would appear just for him and save him from the life he was confined to.

"How do you know that?" someone said.

"W-what? Who's there?" he asked, spinning around to find the origin of the voice. The world around him was spinning, and so was his mind, but he finally spotted the silhouette of a person sitting on the edge of the roof. He couldn't make out the color of their hair or clothes because the light above them cast such a harsh shadow.

"How do you know there isn't a heaven?" they asked him again.

"B-because there isn't! God doesn't exist in this city! He abandoned me!" he yelled at the person. Besides his need to simply yell at someone, he was scared that the person would fall off the building if they weren't careful. Their legs were completely hanging in the air and they weren't even holding onto the small ledge around the roof even though they were hundreds of feet above the ground. He could tell that whoever it was, they had no fear of death.

"If there isn't a God, then why did you come here?"

"Shit..." he could imagine the smirk on the person's face without even seeing it. He could tell it was a boy from the sound of their voice. The worst thing was that the stranger knew why he was there. He was there to see the stairs to heaven. Anybody would know that someone who climbed the June tower was out of their mind.

"Why are you here? You came here to die too, didn't you!?" he shouted, walking closer to the boy.

To his surprise, the boy started chuckling. "This isn't funny!" he said angrily.

"Acting like a little kid ain't gonna do you any good. If 'ya wanna keep throwing a fit like you have been, be my guest," the boy said. "I seen a lot'a guys like you. They have a bad day, take it out on everyone else and then go end their life."

"Stop acting like you know me! You don't know anything about me you...you self righteous prick!" he clenched his fists.

"Yeah, I don't know you," the boy answered. He couldn't sense even an ounce of anger in the boy's voice. "But I know you've got some doubt in that heart'a yours."

The boy was silent for a moment and he saw a cloud of smoke rise. The boy's hand moved away from his mouth and he could see the shadowy shape of a cigarette in the boy's hand.

"The question is, are you just like everyone else?"

He was caught off guard by the boy's question, and he honestly didn't know how to answer.

Are you just like everyone else?

The boy patted the space next to him, gesturing for him to sit down next to him. He slowly walked towards the boy and sat down. His hands tightly gripped the edge of the building with fear. He didn't look at the boy out of pure embarrassment. His question had made him realize how foolishly he was acting.

He saw a flash of light out of the corner of his eye and the sound of something being lit.

"Here," the boy held a lit cigarette out to him without looking his way. He hesitated, but took it from him regardless. He had never smoked before.

Building up his courage, he finally turned his head to the boy. His eyes widened when he saw the defined face of the guy sitting next to him, illuminated by the billboard lights from the skyscrapers closest to them.

The boy was around his same age, and considering that he was 14 years old that meant a kid had been lecturing him. The boy's hair was dark purple, his eyes a deep brown, and his entire appearance was messy and unkempt. He looked like the typical homeless teenager. All he could focus on though was that faraway look in the boy's eyes, like he was somewhere else entirely.

"What's your name?" the boy asked him.

"Err- Hideo Kawano...yours?"

"Oh? I would have guessed a guy like you wouldn't wanna use his last name," the boy laughed. "I'm Masao Takeda, nice to meet you," the boy smiled at him with a fierce determination.

He didn't know where this boy had come from, or anything about him, and he guessed that with how mysterious he came off that he never would know. All he did know was that this was someone who was real. Someone who, among all the broken people in this world, had managed to hold onto his sense of humanity. It wasn't some fake idea of love, kindness, or even mercy, it was just the raw and untainted desire to live and to live regardless of what may be coming.

"So did you run away from home? Or are you just a squatter like me?" Masao asked him.

"I ran away this morning...when I heard about what COT did."

"Ah, that makes sense. Your parents worried about you?"

"Nope. My dad wouldn't care if I died," he stated.

"I guess you've got nothing to lose then. You look pretty young though..."

"I'm fourteen, I think I've had enough of this world already."

"You think I haven't? I am fifteen, been on the streets for six years," Masao smiled gently. "Everyone's got different circumstances. It's just what you make of it that matters."

They both stopped talking after Hideo realized he was being insensitive. At least he had a home he could stay safe in. Masao was really on his own.

"I was thinking...what could make a guy happier than having a few friends to hang out with," Masao said to break the silence. "I wanted to find some people to cause some trouble with, like a sort of protest against all this COT stuff."

"Huh?"

"But whenever I ask people my age about it, they aren't interested. Everyone's too busy living in a damn bubble," Masao went on. Hideo sensed a hint of frustration from him. "I thought, maybe if I could find someone who isn't afraid to die, that would be the guy I could do it with."

"Why someone who isn't afraid to die? There are lots of people who want to die. I don't see why that's so hard to find."

"People who want to die are weak. They're trying to escape something, usually themselves," Masao put his cigarette back in his mouth and sighed. "If you aren't afraid of death, nothing can scare you. Death is the scariest thing, isn't it?"

"I guess so."

"That's the type'a guy I need. Someone who would risk his life just to make some change in this world. Someone who won't abandon me when we're in trouble. Stuff like that's what really matters."

"Are you asking if I want to be your friend?"

Masao looked him straight in the eyes when he said that. His purple hair blew across his face as the wind swept past them, and his eyes were lit up by the blue beacon above them. From this view, Masao looked like an angel to him.

"If you'd like to, I wanna climb back down that ladder with you, and when we get to the bottom...I wanna find a place to stay," he said. "Together," he nodded.

Hideo nodded and they both stood up. He was the first to start climbing down and Masao followed after him. Going down was a little tougher than going up, but he knew he had to make it to the bottom in one piece.

From that night on, Hideo never returned home. Whether his dad looked for him or not was a mystery. He didn't care if he was missed because he found somewhere he would rather be. Masao never once judged him for the way he was. Because of that night Hideo respected Masao more than anyone.

Living with Masao was weird at first. They shared a giant four bedroom house by themselves and until they found more members to join their "rebellion" they spent every day trying to survive. The next five years were a blur. His alcohol addiction began somewhere along that path, and Masao's reputation as a gambling addicted player grew larger with every party they threw.

When it was all over though, they were just two people learning to enjoy life.

Masao never brought up the "God question" again because he already knew the answer that Hideo would give him. It didn't matter if there was a heaven, or if God was really there with them in that city, because Hideo was absolutely sure that only God could have led him to Masao that night.