Home

The smell of eggs and bacon made it's way to his nose. Masao's eyes flickered open and he looked around in confusion. The night before had felt like a dream. Had he really gone to see his friends again? He was surprised he was able to make it all the way home in his condition. He remembered how heavy his eyes had felt while they were crossing the bridge, his vision fluctuating between blurry and clear.

Carrying Yoli inside the house was taxing on his body even though she was light. The last thing he remembered doing was laying her down in bed and collapsing into the couch.

"Yoli?" he said wearily, his voice barely carrying itself out of the room.

"Masao is awake now?" she called back to him, turning around to look at him through the kitchen window cutout.

"Yep...wide awake," he groaned, flipping over and shoving his head into his pillow. He heard Yoli giggle and continue to make breakfast.

A short while later she walked out of the kitchen with a plate in hand. She slowly got onto the couch from the side, climbing her way onto his chest. He had flipped back over and was staring at the ceiling with his knees pointed upward. He took the plate from her and watched with amusement as she snuggled close to him, laying her head on his chest and spreading her arms straight outwards over his shoulders.

He put the plate on top of her head as a joke, but she didn't react at all. "Are you still tired from last night?" he asked.

All she gave in response was a groan.

"Geez...you didn't have to go and cook me a whole meal if you're that tired," he sighed. "It's not like I expect you to act as a maid or something. Also, did you eat anything or did you only make stuff for me?"

"Masao is hungry, so I need to make food. I ate while Masao was sleeping."

He didn't respond, but started to eat from the plate that was sitting atop her small head.

"You don't think it's weird that you cling to me like this?" he raised his eyebrow, looking down at her. She was awfully clingy. "I would think that a girl like you wouldn't want to hang all over a man. Especially someone like me."

"Someone like you?" she repeated.

He didn't bother explaining what he meant to her, since she would just deny everything he said. By now he knew that Yoli heavily admired him for whatever reason. It was like she was incapable of seeing him as a bad person. After he convinced her he wasn't a pathological liar, she seemed to have a better opinion of him.

What was strangest to him though was that she didn't see her actions towards him as romantic. She probably didn't even realize it herself, but he assumed that she acted this way towards him because she was attached to him after he saved her. Being around him probably provided her with a safe and comfortable feeling.

When he finished his breakfast, which consisted of eggs, bacon and a few pieces of sausage, he set the plate down on the floor. He wasn't able to find a suitable coffee table for the living room when he moved into the apartment so that space remained empty.

"Masao...don't be so messy," Yoli said, looking up at him with her large eyes.

"Hey, hey, I can't help it. That's just how I am," he said. His voice was tired and lazy sounding like always. "You don't seem to get that I'm a part of the laze craze..."

"I remember," she smiled, turning over so her back was against him now. She snuggled into his arms, which wrapped around her torso. "Masao calls people mean names."

"Gahh!" he slapped his forehead. "I don't call people names. These are socially accepted terms!"

"I don't get it," she said.

"Well, basically I am part of a very hated group of people. People who don't interact with others at all are mostly disliked by everyone," he said. "People like me are more disliked than shut-ins though..."

"What's the difference?"

"Uhh, shut-ins do get some interaction with people and aren't completely closed off from the outside world, but they're very withdrawn. LC guys are completely no-contact with anyone usually."

"But Masao talks to people too!"

"That's true, but it's only because of you," he chuckled, petting her head with a content smile on his face. "I only really ever talked to my neighbor before, and that was not very often so I don't consider it much of an interaction."

"Anyways, then there are gang members, which is what I used to be before my accident."

Yoli listened to him quietly, leaning her head back and staring at his eyes as he continued to school her.

"You've got lust drunks; people who only care about sex and shit. Then 'ya got street hogs who're basically just a waste of space. I mean, all they do is party and drink. They're the people who are always knocked out on the street."

She shook her head quickly and made a small squealing noise. "This is horrible Masao!"

"Only because you're being coddled right now. Your life is about as peaceful as the damn PS's," he laughed. "I don't think there's anyone who lives in central city besides them that gets to wake up in a comfortable home and can freely make a nice meal for themselves."

They laid there for a few hours doing nothing but talking. Eventually Yoli got up and continued to clean the house. She had taken a break from cleaning out the cupboards and drawers in the kitchen and bedrooms because Masao told her to. He wouldn't tell her, but there were things in there that he didn't want her to see.

He reluctantly got up with a groan and followed Yoli to the bedroom where he stood in the door frame and watched her. She went straight to the wardrobe which was mostly empty besides a small collection of clothes.

"There's nothing in there to clean besides a few spiders," he said. Yoli didn't seem to care though and he guessed that she was just interested in looking at the stuff he owned. She opened the bottom drawer and stared at what was inside silently.

"What's wrong?" he asked her curiously.

She slowly took out a magazine and held it in her hands, staring at the cover. He instantly felt his heart drop.

"Big world, small girls?" Yoli read the magazine's title and opened it curiously.

"Y-yoli! Don't look at those," Masao rushed to her and grabbed the book from her hand, stuffing it back into the wardrobe.

"What's wrong?" she asked innocently.

"W-well...they're just...err- sometimes a guy needs to keep things private, 'ya know?" he was nervous, and it came through in his laugh.

"Are those naughty?" she asked, reaching to open the drawer again but he pushed against it so she wasn't able to get it open.

"Yeah, a little. That's why you can't see them. I actually forgot those were in there...I don't need them anymore, okay?" he said.

"So Masao can throw them away?" she asked.

"Throw them away? I don't...I mean- these are really rare and..." he tried to justify keeping the suggestive magazines, but while kneeling face to face with the girl who found them he just couldn't find a good enough reason to do so. "Okay then, throw them away," he finally gave in.

She took out all the magazines and set them on the floor, spreading them out to get a good look at them. The covers featured skinny girls in a variety of outfits. Some were wearing bathing suits or fancy dresses with frills and bows. All of the girls had small chests and looked very petite.

"Masao likes these girls?"

"Come on! You don't need to look at them..." he groaned. All of her antics were forcing him to actually wake up. He quickly gathered up the magazines- of which there were about 20 into his arms. Yoli followed him out into the apartment's shared hallway and all the way to the square hole cut in the wall at the end of it.

At the ground level directly beneath the hole was a large dumpster where the apartment's residents dumped their trash into. It was rarely emptied by anyone so it was usually overflowing.

Masao's heart broke watching his favorite magazines fall through the air. He stared at them laying on top of a bunch of dirty trash and then sadly returned to his room. He lit a cigarette and sat down at the kitchen table with a gloomy expression.

Yoli watched him from the kitchen entrance, staring at his back, his messy hair and the smoke rising in small wisps.

"Where is Masao's family?" she asked.

"Huh?" he turned around in the chair and scrunched up his face. "Are you trying to snoop again?"

"No. I was wondering...did your family go away like mine?"

His eyes left her and he turned back around with a long sigh. "I'm too tired to talk about this right now. You just made me throw away my magazines..." he said. Yoli was quick to get all up in his business, holding him by the shoulders and shaking him.

"I want to know..." she wined. "Why are they not here for you?"

Suddenly he slapped her hand away, an angry expression on his face. Yoli had never seen him upset before. Until now she knew him to be a very calm and laid back person.

"Some people don't have happy memories Yoli, okay?" he said harshly. "I only have one living relative and we don't speak."

"Oh..." she looked at the ground sadly. "I-I'm sorry."

She reached out to comfort him but he jerked away from her. Her hands recoiled and she slowly backed out of the kitchen with a slight fear in her eyes. Masao didn't move at all, not even after a few hours had passed.

Doing her best to avoid him until his anger blew over, she spent the next few hours sweeping dead leaves off of the porch, throwing away trash in the living room and reading a book she found laying around. She felt bad for trying to pry into a sensitive part of his life, and she didn't know how to apologize to him.

Eventually he got up and tiredly stumbled into the entryway, staring at her as she sat on the couch. He walked over to her but she got up before he could say anything to her and retreated into the bedroom.

"Gahh...I'm the worst," he sighed, sinking into the couch and covering his eyes with his hand. He fell asleep there, completely unaware that the girl was watching him from behind the door which was slightly cracked open.

She stepped out of the bedroom once he was asleep and quietly walked to the front door. She knew how she would apologize to him, after all his bad mood was primarily caused by one thing. She crept out into the hallway and made her way to the staircase at the end of it. She didn't know who the other residents of the apartment were but she was scared that if she made too much noise they might come snatch her.

Outside was cold with the sky a dull grey color. She walked around the side of the apartment and found the heap of garbage piled on top of the trash bin. She held her nose shut and climbed on top of a bunch of wet metal boxes so she could reach the top. She was only able to reach one of the magazines which was close to the edge of the trash.

Quickly shaking it off so it wasn't dirty, she ran back inside the apartment building. After hearing everything Masao had to say about the outside world she didn't want to be outside without him.

When she got back to the room she walked to his side and knelt down. As usual she poked his cheek to wake him up. His eyes slowly blinked open and he stared at her.

"What do you want?" he groaned.

She shyly held up the magazine, pushing it towards him so he would take it.

"Masao is mad because I made him get rid of his most precious item...I am sorry," she said quietly. He couldn't see her from behind the cover of the dirty magazine, but he could tell from the tone of her voice that she was close to crying.

"Hey...don't apologize to me for anything. You did nothing wrong..." he pushed the magazine down, her arms lowering with it and reached out to rub the top of her head. Looking her directly in her glazed eyes, he smiled through his extreme exhaustion. "I shouldn't have yelled at you. I was stressed."

She lowered her head to avoid his eyes, still holding the magazine out to him.

"I don't need that anymore. Wanna know why?" he said. "Look at those girls on the cover," he pointed to one of the girls dressed in a frilly lolita dress. "I don't need this 'cuz I already got one of these girls right in front of me."

"What?" she leaned forward, their noses only an inch away from bumping together. "Masao...I don't think I have anything like this to wear."

"Hah, that doesn't matter," he took the magazine from her and threw it behind the couch.

She sat on the dirty carpet in front of him silently until he ruffled her hair with a laugh.

"Mmmh...no!"

"Heh, come 'er you silly girl," he laughed. He sat up and took her hand, guiding her into his arms. He laid back and held her close to him, pressing his head into the crook of her neck and shutting his eyes. She was starting to smell more and more like cigarettes the longer she spent with him.

She wined, nuzzling her head against him and grabbing at the fabric of his shirt. It wasn't long until she fell asleep.

"...what am I going to do with you Yoli," he sighed, leaning his head back and falling asleep with her.

- - -

I awakened in a very dark place. Everything around me was black, as if the night had swallowed the world itself. Naturally I began to panic and attempt to find my way home. However, my fingers could not reach any solid objects and my voice could not carry beyond my lips. This darkness had taken humanity with it. It was a cold and empty existence.

That's when I felt the hands of someone warm. A familiar embrace from behind, something so near to me yet I knew I had never felt this person's touch before. Like the lights had been switched on, my world became white like clouds and the person before me was visible. The rounded, cloudy shape of a human.

He was entirely pitch black, a stark contrast to the whiteness around us. His eyes were white holes in his face, and his nose was an upside down triangle.

"There's no reason to be scared. All it takes to find home is a change in perspective," he said with a smile. His mouth was also hollow and faded back into his face when he closed his mouth.

"Why does it feel so lonely here?"

"You, my dear, have made someone very angry. That's why you have been emptied of your feelings," he answered in a teasing tone.

"Who is angry with me? Did I do something wrong...?"

"Of course, you broke the terms," he said.

"What terms?"

"How about I ask you a few questions first?" he blinked, nearing closer to me. "You know where love comes from, don't you?"

"Mm...your heart?"

"No, silly," he reached out and ruffled my hair, laughing at my answer. "Love comes from our creator."

"He knew that it was too strong of a feeling for humans to control, so he put a very powerful creature in charge of it."

I tilt my head in confusion. Everything he's saying sounds foreign.

"How do you know? Are you God?"

"Me? I wish," he laughed. "I know because...because I've seen it."

"You saw the creature?"

"It's really a stingy son of a bitch," he chuckled. I winced from his vulgar language. "Every human is allowed to experience love as long as they abide by the creature's terms. That's fair, isn't it?"

"What terms?! What rules did I break?"

He patted my head and let his fingers, which were only made of wisps of smoke, glide through my hair. "I'm not sure," he said.

"I think...God is going to fix this someday. That creature is going to be destroyed by whatever means it takes and love will be returned to the people."

A tear rolls down my cheek and the smoky man in front of me gently wipes it away. His touch is warm, just as it felt to me in the darkness. Even though his eyes are just holes I can feel his care, his gentleness, his kindness. I must be dreaming to have such a sweet friend visit me.

"How long will it be until then? I don't want to feel empty for the rest of my life."

"Until the world is ready for you. It's simple, really," he smiled. "I promise that when you wake from this place you will find a brand new world ready to receive you. That is what you were made for...to enter that world."

He smiled down at me, and I could feel his soul touching mine.

"I wasn't made for this...I am not supposed to be here."

He wrapped his arm around my back, and turned me so I was facing the opposite direction. His hand rested on my shoulder and his fingers lightly tapped against my skin.

"Shh...do you hear it?"

"Hear what?"

"Listen...they're singing to you..."

I look around the white void in confusion. I can't hear a thing.

The light beating of drums enters my ears just as I think he's gone crazy. There's a flute, and a cymbal, and they're accompanied by singers who are chanting in a language I can't understand. I feel his hand slip away from me as a blue sky comes into view.

"A-ah..." I tremble as the ground disappears beneath me. I reach for him, but his touch is faint now.

"Hah, don't worry. I'm still here," he said.

I turn to look at him, seeing his body is already fading away into the sky.

"Don't go! I don't know where I am!"

"Ah, don't worry at all. You'll be in a nice dream until we meet again," he said calmly. Can he see the panic in my eyes?

"Who are you?" I yell to him above the wind, which is making it hard to hear even my own voice. My hair brushes across my face and obscures my vision, but I part it and see him standing before me with a cheeky smile.

"I don't know," he answered.

"My soul is still being constructed. My body does not exist in the world yet, and it won't until many years from now. So I guess you could say I don't exist at all."

"But you're here...so you must exist."

"Only in your mind. Only here..."

I reach out for him, but he does not come to me. I want our fingers to intertwine, our souls to tangle together, and for his shadowy figure to take shape into that of the man I know he will one day become. I cannot picture what he will look like, but I know that when we do meet I will be able to recognize the shape of his soul. I want those black clouds of smoke to become human as they touch me, and for him to envelop me in his love.

"I have to go now...but I'm sure that we will meet again one day," he smiles without a hint of sadness. "By then I may be a different person. That's what life does to people. But don't mistake me for another, because even a warped soul is still built of it's original pieces."

I blink and he's gone. I stand there for a while, unsure of what's just happened. Before I know it I've begun a new life, and I completely forgot about the smoky man who visited me on my first day here in this new world. I do feel a sense of longing though, because no matter how many years pass I never feel the sensation of that touch. The touch I deeply long for...where did it come from?