Home

The smell of eggs and bacon made its way to his nose. Masao's eyes flickered open, and he looked around in confusion. The night before had felt like a dream. Had he really gone to see his friends again? He was surprised he was able to make it all the way home in his condition. As he rode home, he'd struggled to keep his eyes open, vision fluctuating between blurry and clear.

Carrying Yoli inside the house was taxing on his body, even though she was light. The last thing he remembered doing was lying her down in bed and collapsing on the couch.

"Yoli?" he said wearily, his voice barely carrying itself out of the room.

"You're awake!" she called back to him, turning around to look at him through the kitchen window cutout.

"Yep...wide awake," he groaned, flipping over and shoving his head into his pillow. She giggled and continued to make breakfast.

A short while later, she walked out of the kitchen with a plate in hand. She climbed onto him, handing him his meal. He'd flipped back over and was staring at the ceiling with his knees pointed upward. She snuggled close to him, laying her head on his chest and spreading her arms straight outwards over his shoulders.

He put the plate on top of her head as a joke, but she didn't react at all. "Are you still tired from last night?" he asked.

All she gave in response was a groan.

"Geez...you didn't have to go and cook me a whole meal if you're that tired," he sighed. "It's not like I expect you to act as a maid or something. Also, did you eat anything, or did you only make stuff for me?"

"You're hungry, so I need to make food. I ate while you were sleeping."

He didn't respond, but started to eat from the plate that was sitting atop her small head.

"You don't think it's weird that you cling to me like this?" he raised his eyebrow, looking down at her. She was awfully clingy. "I thought a girl like you wouldn't want to hang all over a man. Not a guy like me."

"Someone like you?" she repeated.

He didn't bother explaining what he meant to her, since she would just deny everything no matter what he said. By now, he knew that Yoli heavily admired him for whatever reason. She was incapable of seeing him as a bad person. After he convinced her he wasn't a pathological liar, her high opinion of him seemed to be impenetrable.

What was strangest to him was that she didn't see her actions towards him as romantic. She probably didn't even realize it herself, but he assumed she acted that way because she was attached to him after he saved her. Being around him probably provided her with a safe and comfortable feeling.

When he finished his breakfast, which consisted of eggs, bacon, and a few pieces of sausage, he set the plate down on the floor. He wasn't able to find a suitable coffee table for the living room when he moved into the apartment, so that space remained empty.

"Masao...don't be so messy," Yoli said, looking up at him with large eyes.

"I can't help it. That's just how I am," he said. His voice was tired and lazy like always. "You don't seem to get that I'm a part of the laze craze..."

"I remember," she smiled, turning over so her back was against him now. He hugged her, finding some comfort in the touch they briefly shared. "You call people mean names."

"Gahh!" he slapped his forehead. "I don't call people names. These are socially accepted terms!"

"I don't get it."

"Basically, I'm part of a very hated group of people. People who don't interact with others at all are disliked by everyone," he said. "People like me are more hated than shut-ins like my neighbor."

"What's the difference?"

"Uhh, shut-ins do get some interaction with people and aren't completely closed off from the outside world, but they're very withdrawn. LC guys are completely no-contact with anyone, usually."

"But you talk to people too!"

"That's true, but only because of you," he chuckled, petting her head with a content smile. "I only ever talked to my neighbor before, and that wasn't very often, so I don't consider it much of an interaction."

"Anyways, then there are gang members, which is what I used to be before my accident," he continued.

She listened to him quietly, leaning her head back and staring at his eyes as he continued to school her.

"You've got lust drunks; people who only care about sex and shit. Then 'ya got street hogs who're basically just a waste of space. I mean, all they do is party and drink. They're the people who are always knocked out on the street."

She shook her head quickly and made a small squealing noise. "This is horrible, Masao!"

"Only because you're being coddled right now. Your life is about as peaceful as the damn PS's," he laughed. "I don't think there's anyone who lives in Central City besides them that gets to wake up in a comfortable home and make a huge breakfast for themselves."

They lay there for a few hours doing nothing but talking. Eventually, Yoli got up and continued to clean the house. She had taken a break from cleaning out the cupboards and drawers in the kitchen and bedrooms because Masao told her to. He wouldn't tell her, but there were things in there that he didn't want her to see.

He reluctantly got up and followed her to the bedroom, where he stood in the doorway and watched her sort through his things. She went straight to the wardrobe, which was mostly empty besides a small collection of clothes. She was trying to get rid of the dust and dirt that had accumulated around the house.

"There's nothing in there to clean. Maybe a few spiders," he said. Yoli didn't seem to care, though, and he guessed that she was just interested in looking at the stuff he owned. She opened the bottom drawer. Something in there made her stare, perplexed.

"What's wrong?" he asked.

She slowly took out a magazine, looking over the cover. His heart dropped.

"Big world, small girls?" She read the magazine's title and opened it curiously.

"Y-yoli! Don't look at those," he rushed to her, grabbing the book from her hand, stuffing it back into the wardrobe.

"What's wrong?" she tilted her head.

"W-well...they're just...err- sometimes a guy needs to keep things private, ya know?" he was nervous, and it came through in his laugh.

"Are those naughty?" she asked, reaching to open the drawer again, but he pushed against it so she wasn't able to get it open.

"Yeah, a little. That's why you can't see them. I actually forgot those were in there. I don't need them anymore, okay?" he spoke quickly.

"So I can throw them away?"

"Throw them away? I- I mean- these are really rare and..." he tried to justify keeping the suggestive magazines, but while kneeling face to face with the girl who found them, he just couldn't find a good enough reason to do so. "Okay then, throw them away," he finally gave in.

She hauled the huge stack of magazines out of the drawer, spreading them across the carpet to get a good look. The covers featured skinny girls in a variety of outfits. Some wore bathing suits or fancy dresses with frills and bows. All of the girls were petite with little assets to be seen.

"You like these girls?"

"Come on! You don't need to look at them too..." he groaned. All of her antics were forcing him to actually wake up. He quickly gathered up the magazines, of which there were about 30, into his arms. Yoli followed him out to the building's hallway and down to the square hole cut in the wall at the end of it.

At the ground level, directly beneath the hole was a large dumpster where the apartment's residents dumped their trash. It was rarely emptied by anyone, so it was usually overflowing.

Masao's heart broke watching his favorite magazines fly through the air. They fell onto the pile of dirty trash, treasured items being dirtied by rotting food and waste. When they returned to his apartment, he lit a cigarette and sat down at the kitchen table with a gloomy expression.

Yoli watched his back, his messy hair tied in low pigtails which bobbed with the movement of his head. Smoke curled into the stagnant air.

"Where's your family?" she asked.

"Huh?" he turned around in the chair and scrunched up his face. "Are you trying to snoop again?"

"No. I was wondering...did your family go away like mine?"

His eyes left her, and he turned back around with a long sigh. "I'm too tired to talk about this right now. You just made me throw away my magazines..."

"I want to know..." she whined. "Why are they not here for you?" She stood next to him and reached out to touch his shoulder.

Suddenly, he slapped her hand away, eye twitching. Yoli had never seen him upset before. Until now, she knew him to be a very calm and laid-back person. Suddenly overtaken by anger, he looked terrifying.

"This isn't a fantasy world. Not everyone wants to remember their past," he shot. "I only have one living relative, and we don't speak."

"Oh. I-I'm sorry."

She reached out to comfort him, but he jerked away from her. Her hands recoiled, and she slowly backed out of the kitchen, fear in her eyes. Masao didn't move, not even after a few hours had passed.

Doing her best to avoid him until his anger blew over, she spent the rest of the day on the porch. She read Masao's books and watched the people walking below. She felt bad for trying to pry into a sensitive part of his life, and didn't know how to apologize to him.

Eventually, he got up and stumbled into the living room, watching her as she read on the couch. A book he didn't even know he owned. He walked over to her, but she got up before he could say anything and retreated to the bedroom.

"Gahh...I'm the worst," he sighed, sinking into the couch and covering his face with his hands. He fell asleep there, completely unaware that the girl was watching him from behind the door, slightly cracked.

She stepped out of the bedroom once he was asleep and slipped out the front door. She knew how she would apologize to him, after all, his bad mood was primarily caused by one thing. She crept out into the hallway and made her way to the staircase. She didn't know who the other residents were, but she was scared that if she made too much noise, they might come snatch her.

Outside was cold, the sky a dull grey color. She walked around the side of the building and found the heap of garbage piled on top of the trash bin. She pinched her nose and climbed on top of wet metal boxes so she could reach the top of the filthy pile. She was only able to reach one of the magazines, which was close to the edge of the trash.

Shaking it off so it wasn't dirty, she ran back to Masao's apartment. After hearing everything Masao had to say about the outside world, she didn't want to be outside without him.

When she got back to the room, knelt beside him. As usual, she poked his cheek to wake him up. His eyes slowly blinked open.

"What do you want?" he groaned.

She held up the magazine, pushing it towards him so he would take it.

"You're mad because I made you get rid of your precious collection...I'm sorry," she apologized. He couldn't see her from behind the cover of the dirty magazine, but he could tell from the tone of her voice that she was close to tears.

"Hey...don't apologize to me for anything. You did nothing wrong..." he pushed the magazine down and patted her head. "I shouldn't have yelled at you. I was stressed."

She lowered her head to avoid his eyes, still holding the magazine out to him.

"I don't need that anymore. Wanna know why?" he said. "Look at those girls on the cover," he pointed to one of the girls dressed in a frilly lolita dress. "I don't need this 'cuz I already got one of these girls right in front of me."

"What?" she leaned forward, their noses close to bumping each other. "Masao...I don't think I have anything like this to wear."

"Hah, that doesn't matter," he took the magazine from her and threw it behind the couch.

"Heh, come 'er you silly girl," he laughed. He sat up and took her hand, guiding her into his arms. He held her close, pressing his head into the crook of her neck and shutting his eyes. She was starting to smell more like him, and it made him blush.

She wined, nuzzling her head against him. It wasn't long until she fell asleep.

"...what am I going to do with you, Yoli?" he sighed, leaning his head back.

- - -

I awakened in a dark place. Everything around me was black, as if the night had swallowed the world itself. Naturally, I began to panic and attempt to find my way home. However, my fingers could not reach any solid objects, and my voice could not carry beyond my lips. This darkness had taken humanity with it. It was a cold and empty existence.

That's when I felt the hands of someone warm. A familiar embrace from behind, something so near to me, yet I knew I had never felt this person's touch before. Like the lights had been switched on, my world became white like clouds, and the person before me was visible. The rounded, cloudy shape of a human.

He was entirely pitch black, a stark contrast to the whiteness around us. His eyes were white holes in his face, and his nose was an upside-down triangle.

"There's no reason to be scared. All it takes to find home is a change in perspective," he said with a smile. His mouth was also hollow and faded back into his face when he closed his mouth.

"Why does it feel so lonely here?"

"You've made someone very angry. That's why you have been emptied of your feelings," he answered in a teasing tone.

"Who is angry with me? Did I do something wrong...?"

"Of course, you broke the terms," he said.

"What terms?"

"How about I ask you a few questions first?" he blinked, nearing me. "You know where love comes from, don't you?"

"Mm...your heart?"

"No, silly," he reached out and ruffled my hair, laughing at my answer. "Love comes from our creator."

"He gave everyone the ability to love. Until someone spoke a curse into existence, everyone loved freely."

I tilted my head in confusion. Everything he said sounded foreign.

"How do you know? Are you God?"

"Me? I wish," he laughed. "I know because...because I've seen it."

"You saw the curse?"

"It's a stingy son of a bitch," he chuckled. I winced from his vulgar language. "Every human is allowed to experience love as long as they abide by the curse's terms. That's fair."

"What terms?! What rules did I break?"

He patted my head and let his fingers, which were only made of wisps of smoke, glide through my hair. "I'm not sure," he said.

"I think...the creator is going to fix this someday. The curse is going to be destroyed by whatever means it takes, and love will be returned to the people."

A tear rolls down my cheek, and the smoky man in front of me gently wipes it away. His touch is warm, just as it felt to me in the darkness. Even though his eyes are just holes, I can feel his care, his gentleness, his kindness. I must be dreaming to have such a sweet friend visit me.

"How long will it be until then? I don't want to feel empty for the rest of my life."

"Until the world is ready for you. It's simple, really," he smiled. "I promise that when you wake from this place, you will find a brand new world ready to receive you. That is what you were made for...to enter that world."

He smiled down at me, and I could feel his soul touching mine.

"I wasn't made for this...I am not supposed to be here."

He wrapped his arm around my back and turned me so I was facing the opposite direction. His hand rested on my shoulder, and his fingers lightly tapped against my skin.

"Shh...do you hear it?"

"Hear what?"

"Listen...they're singing to you..."

I look around the white void in confusion. I can't hear a thing.

The light beating of drums enters my ears just as I think he's gone crazy. There's a flute, and a cymbal, and they're accompanied by singers who are chanting in a language I can't understand. I feel his hand slip away from me as a blue sky comes into view.

"A-ah..." I tremble as the ground disappears beneath me. I reach for him, but his touch is faint now.

"Hah, don't worry. I'm still here," he said.

I turn to look at him, seeing his body is already fading away into the sky.

"Don't go! I don't know where I am!"

"Ah, don't worry at all. You'll be in a nice dream until we meet again," he said calmly. Can he see the panic in my eyes?

"Who are you?" I yell to him above the wind, which is making it hard to hear even my own voice. My hair brushes across my face and obscures my vision, but I part it and see him standing before me with a cheeky smile.

"I don't know," he answered. "My soul is still being constructed. My body doesn't exist in the world yet, and it won't for many years. So I guess you could say I don't exist at all."

"But you're here...so you must exist."

"Only in your mind. Only here..."

I reach out for him, but he doesn't come to me. I want our fingers to intertwine, our souls to tangle together, and for his shadowy figure to take shape into that of the man I know he will one day become. I cannot picture what he will look like, but I know that when we do meet, I will be able to recognize the shape of his soul. I want those black clouds of smoke to become human as they touch me, and for him to envelop me in his love.

"I have to go now...but I'm sure that we will meet one day," he smiled without a hint of sadness. "By then, I may be a different person. That's what life does to people. But don't mistake me for another, because even a warped soul is still built of its original pieces."

I blink, and he's gone. I stand there for a while, unsure of what's just happened. Before I knew it, I had begun a new life, and I completely forgot about the smoky man who visited me on my first day here in this new world. I do feel a sense of longing, though, because no matter how many years pass, I never feel the sensation of that touch. The touch I deeply long for...where did it come from?